Author: Denis Wilhelm

Here Comes The Bride

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Caprice and Jimmy

My niece Caprice is getting married in about 3 weeks.  It seems like only yesterday that she was my little “Pee Wee” perched on my lap.  But now she’s all grown up and ready to be a wife.  She’s had a wedding shower and a bachelorette party and all the preparations have been made – the church, the music, the reception, etc.  She and her fiance Jimmy are ready. 

Ready for the wedding day.  But are they ready for marriage?  Who knows?  Are any of us ever really ready?  I know that they are “IN LOVE” and I know that they have met with their minister and that she has “prepared them”.  But how much can you really “prepare” for marriage? 

I remember a 150 years ago when Deb and I got married and we met with Father Gary Goldaker at Trinity Episcopal Church and he asked us lots of questions and we gave him lots of answers.  And after no more than two meetings he then pronounced us “READY FOR MARRIAGE”.  Thank God we had all the answers back then because it has made married life so easy!  Of course a few years later we heard that Father Gary left the priesthood and was selling aluminum siding – so I guess our marriage has probably out-lasted some of that siding he sold (that stuff only has about a 25 year guarantee). 

Caprice and Jimmy are older and (smarter?) than we were in 1975.  And they have made good decisions up to this point so I’m guessing that they will have a marriage based on love and respect and equality.  I also know that they have a family that will always love and support and even “carry them” when necessary.  And if I could remember any of those answers from Gary Goldaker I would pass those on, too.

But now we’re all focused on THE WEDDING DAY.  THE BRIDE AND THE GROOM.  And that’s how it should be.  Serious marriage stuff has been dealt with already and their life together will continue to be an ongoing journey of faith and discovery.  Caprice and Jimmy have the rest of their lives to build their marriage.

So right now we’re looking forward to the Wedding Day and the party that is planned.  I’m always reminded that Jesus’ first public miracle was The Wedding Feast at Cana.  Even Jesus liked a good wedding reception.  So we’re going to celebrate on November 6th.  When Caprice comes down the aisle there will be smiles and tears (Deb cries at Hallmark® commercials) and once again I will have my faith in marriage renewed.  And later at the reception I’ll dance like nobody is watching because I’ll bet Jesus did that after ‘The Wine Thing’. 

Here comes the bride.  Everybody please rise!

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, it is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.   It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Peace,

Denis

Look Who’s Six Years Old!

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Charlise

On 10/10/10 Charlise Clare Wilhelm will be six years old.  It’s hard to believe that we have a six year old granddaughter. Time flies!  It only seems like yesterday that we met our ‘Little Peanut’ and now here she is ready to be a big girl.  But not too fast – please!  She might be ready to be a big girl but Pawpaw still needs some time to catch up.

Charlise is in kindergarten – a big milestone.  She loves school and I’m certain her teacher loves her, too.   Her circle of influence is growing and her peers’ opinions are VERY IMPORTANT now.  She is similar to all other kids in her need to ‘fit in’ and I’m sure she will have more than her fair share of school friends.  She has a way of winning people over with her big smile.  She’s already a charmer at six!

This Saturday she is having a “bowling” birthday party and has invited everyone in her classroom.  It will fun to see her interact with her new friends.  I can already tell that she will be popular in school because she is such a loving and giving little girl.  She just has a way about her – so sweet, so nice, so Charlise!

Charlise and I have a lot fun being silly together.  We tease Nana and we laugh a lot.  We make funny noises and we chase around the house.  We play outside and hunt for wild chihuahuas in the backyard (one of our many ‘pretend’ games).  I guess when she gets older she will either remember this time fondly or laugh about it – either way; I’m okay.

As exciting as it is to see her grow up and become her own little person, I sometimes can’t help but reminisce about when she was born.  She arrived a month before she was due and only weighed 3-1/2 lbs.  I will never forget holding her for the first time and feeling like the luckiest man alive – I believe I still am!  But there are times when I really miss Baby Charlise.  When she spends the night at our house now she sleeps in THE BIG BED in the yellow bedroom.  But when I look in on her late at night and watch her sleeping and listen to her breathe I can still catch a glimpse of our sweet baby who was such a little peanut at birth.  She lies there in peaceful sleep and her face still has the innocence and purity of an angel – I’m certain (for me) that it will never go away.

Charlise is our first grandchild.  And being first gives her special status.  She was the first grandchild to capture my heart and she will hold it forever.  I know that God has blessed me and her name is Charlise.

Happy Birthday Peanut!

Love,

Pawpaw

Big Sisters ~ Little Brothers

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There’s a special relationship between big sisters and little brothers.  It seems that big sisters tend to “mother” their little brothers and little brothers often seek their big sister’s approval.  But it’s much more than that.  There’s a special love that they share that’s on a psychic or spiritual level.  I’ve been fortunate enough to have witnessed this dynamic between  big sister/little brother many times in my life.  God has blessed our family three-fold: my wife Deb and her “little brother” Brett; our daughter Bess and her “little brother” Blake; and now our granddaughter Anna and her “little brother” Noah.

This sister/brother love is life-long.  It is pure.  And it is unconditional.  What a gift God has bestowed on these sisters and brothers! 

I firmly believe that Debbie is such a good mother because she learned ‘how-to’ on Brett.  She was (and still is) in many ways his second mother.  I’ve seen how she can comfort him and I’ve witnessed her heartbreak when he has dealt with dissapointment or sadness in his life.  She celebrates his joys and supports him in all he does.  SHE IS HIS ROCK.  And I know too that Brett loves and cares for Deb equally and that they share a bond that is eternal. 

From the time that our son Blake was born, his “big sister” Bess has been his guardian angel.  She has protected him and cared for him from the start.  Their love is something that only they can truly know.  The rest of us can observe from the outside, but they seem to communicate on a level that is all their own.  Even though they are ‘grown-ups’ now, Bess still worries about her “little brother” and Blake still seems to need her approval (or maybe it’s her affirmation) from time to time.  When he was a little boy, she would comfort him if he was upset.  And often she was the ONLY ONE that he wanted when sad or hurt.  Blake was a freshman and Bess was a senior at the University of Wisconsin when Blake broke his jaw (there are some sketchy details on what actually caused the break).  Bess flew to his side, helping him when Deb and I couldn’t be there.  Of course, she wouldn’t have considered anything else.  And Blake has been ‘ON CALL’ when his niece and nephew were born – he needed constant updates as to how Bess was doing.  This “caring for one another” seems to be the cement that holds them together.

I see already how two-year-old Anna loves her “little brother”.  The night that he was born, while he was being “cleaned up” in the hospital nursery, Anna and her Daddy, and I watched outside the nursery window (Mommy was ‘being put back together’).  While we were witnessing Noah’s first few minutes of life, an old man that was a patient at the hospital was wheeled up to look at the babies.  He asked Anna if that was her baby brother and of course she said yes.  He then asked her if she thought he could get a baby brother, too.  Her reply: “Yes but not this one – he’s mine!”  In those first few moments, looking through the glass, she had claimed her “little brother”.  And as tears welled up in my eyes I could only imagine how special their life together will be.  Another big sister/little brother legacy was born.  And once more I was blessed for having witnessed it.

Peace,

Denis

Hurry Up and Wait

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Poolside in Cancun

Ever have one of those days (weeks) where everything required “hurrying” and then “waiting”?  I’m (sort of) stuck in Mexico right now on a jobsite – Cancun, actually.  We were supposed to deliver store fixtures and begin installation yesterday morning but…  Well, this is Mexico and every time I work here I’m reminded that we Americans do not rule the world, regardless of what we might have been taught to believe. Something about flooded roads and trucks not being allowed to pass through certain areas have caused delays.  My contact Ernesto keeps telling me everything is OKAY.  But somehow I’m starting to lose confidence in his assurances.  Actually it’s kind of refreshing to know that we Americans (by the way Mexicans are Americans, too) are NOT the grand imperialists that some people would have you believe, but that’s another story.

Anyway my Spanish is very limited and my patience is even less so, but I’m trying to “chill out”.  This might all be a test.  How much can I really relax and “let go”?  Am I really able to “unwind” and just wait for things to work themselves out?  NO SÉ? 

Now before you start feeling too sorry for me let me tell you that the weather is better than predicted (70% chance of rain), the food is wonderful (shrimp tacos), the hotel is fabulous (pool bar) and the beach is just outside my door.  But still I want to get my work done and get home – WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME? Most people would kill to be “stuck” in a place like this but I just want to go home.  I’m told my granddaughter Anna prayed for “Pawpaw in Mexico” last night and that she misses me – “I miss you too, Anna!”  Plus I feel guilty – guilty for not working, guilty for enjoying the beach and the pool without Deb, guilty for spending company pesos on food and (maybe alcohol) while no real work is happening.  And guilty for being looked upon as an IMPORTANT AMERICAN BUSINESSMAN by these nice Mexican folks that have been waiting on me ‘hand and foot’ and are just are trying to eke out a decent living wage. 

In the meantime, I guess  I’ll go back to the beach or pool and try to tip as generously as possible to ease some of my guilt.  Also it seems that the occasional Corona seems to ease my conscience as well.  “Uno cerveza por favor”!  My high school Spanish teacher, Sister Madeline, would be so proud!

Paz,

Denis

A Glimpse of Heaven

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This has been whirl-wind week.  My grandson Noah was born on Monday and everything else just sort of fell in place behind that momentous event.  It’s amazing how one blessing can diminish all the crappy stuff in your life.  I’ve had my usual encounter with annoying and hateful people this week but somehow I have become invincible.  Their snide remarks and unloving behavior have had no effect on me.  Because of the love that God has shown me in Noah and his sister and his parents, NO ONE not even the curmudgeonliest interloper has stolen my joy.  I’m not even sure if curmudgeonlist is a word.  But guess what?  I don’t care!  I have a force-field of love shielding me from all the ugliness and hate in the world.  Take that – haters!

Noah "sizing up" his Daddy

I’ve had a glimpse of heaven this week.  And I’m hanging on to it as long as I can.  I don’t want to become someone who never faces reality (although it’s tempting) but for a while I plan on basking in the “afterglow” of Noah’s arrival here on earth.  Having him in our family has helped put a lot of little things in perspective – and some big things, too. 

Somehow bad drivers, annoying co-workers, demanding customers, and trying family members don’t seem to be worth getting upset about.  The annoying co-workers?  Well Anna was in my office on Tuesday winning hearts and cheering the place up in two-year-old fashion.  She told EVERYONE about her baby brother!  The gas station attendant that was smoking near the gas pumps on Wednesday was frightening but not important enough to fight about.  I just calmly asked her to put her cigarette out – so that we didn’t BOTH blow up.  I have too much to live for!  The customer that WANTS EVERYTHING IMMEDIATELY – is going to have to wait awhile.  I’ve got a baby to hold!  The trying family members – well I hope that Noah will melt their hearts, too.  After all, he’s got super powers!

And this week even simple kindnesses seemed to appear more loving, more caring, and more God-like.  It felt like people have smiled more, were more courteous, and were generally happier.  I believe the “joy of Noah” has had a rippling effect.  The best examples of God’s enduring love are these:  

  • After Noah’s first night home, big sister Anna awoke on Thursday morning to find him in bed with Mommy and Daddy.  Of course she crawled into their bed to join them.  When finally snuggled next to her baby brother, she patted him gently and said, “It alright Noah, I here, I got you now.”
  • Last night while saying bedtime prayers, which now include Noah by name, Anna stopped and announced, “My whole family is here!”   And we were blessed once again for having been there.

So I’ve had my glimpse of heaven this week with my grandson in my arms and my granddaughter playing nearby.  And I’ve got to tell you – it’s a wonderful world!

Peace,

Denis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAZqjsSZphE&feature=related

The Story of Noah

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You all know the story of Noah and The Ark.  God tells Noah to collect two of every animal and put them on his boat (ark) before the Great Flood.  God saves the world with Noah’s help!  Even if you don’t believe in God, it’s a great redemption story.  A story of renewal and second chances.

Monday my daughter and son-in-law got their ‘second chance’.  Noah was born.  He is their second child.  A second chance for love.  And who knows how he will change our world – he’s already changed our family.  My guess is that he will work slowly – one heart at a time.  He is already responsible for so much happiness and he is barely aware of himself at this point.  Babies are ALWAYS about redemption and renewal – God’s way of letting us know we should keep on keepin’ on.  Noah gives me hope!

Noah looking more like Moses here

 

Noah Wilhelm Kleckner joined the world on Monday 9-20-10 with a bang!  Mommy (Bess) and Nana (Debbie) were at Bess’s regularly scheduled doctor’s appointment when Bess went into labor.  Here’s Deb’s account:

“I took Bess to the doctor for her last prenatal visit (she was going to be induced on Wednesday).  Travis stayed home with Anna because it was nap time and this was just supposed to be a routine visit.  Bess and I had lunch about 1 p.m.  She said that she had a couple of contractions earlier in the morning, but certainly nothing to get excited about.

Her appointment was at 1:45 and when we arrived we learned that Dr. Kodner had gone home sick.  So there was a longer than usual wait.  Bess had a couple of contractions and when she couldn’t talk while she was having one, we decided to start timing them.  They were 4 minutes apart for almost an hour.  So Bess went to the counter and said that she was pretty sure she had gone into labor while she was waiting.  They saw her pretty quickly after that!  They examined her and asked if she had her bag with her.  Of course she did not!  We went straight to the hospital.  I called Denis and told him to go to Bess and Travis’ house and not to goof around (as if I would – editorial comment) getting there.

We got to the hospital about 3:45.  Travis arrived a short while later.  By then Bess was telling us not to touch her or breathe on her!  She got an epidural and then life was much better.  She told Travis to go and get something to eat before things got too busy (he’s a known fainter).  The nurse broke her water about 6:15 and said she would be back in 30 minutes to check her progress.  When the nurse returned to check, she lifted the sheet and said “And…we’re…having a baby!”  It was remarkably calm and I was kind of stuck in the corner trying to stay out-of-the-way.  And just that quickly, Noah was born.

No one had planned on me being there but there was no time to leave.  I feel a little like I intruded on their very special time, but mostly I feel like I was right where God wanted me to be.  What a blessing to behold! ~ Love, Debbie”

Meanwhile big sister Anna and I were at home watching ‘Wonder Pets’ and waiting for THE CALL.  The good news came and we were summoned to the hospital where Anna would meet her little brother.

Holding my grandson Monday evening for the first time made me realize (once again) how much God has blessed us.  And I knew then that I was being given (another) second chance.

Peace,

Denis

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

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Hey Little Man, welcome to the world! 
Noah Wilhelm Kleckner
Born 9-20-10 ~ 7:06PM
7 lbs. 15 oz.
19-3/4“
Noah Wilhelm Kleckner

Last night before you were born I didn’t think I could love anyone as much as your sister and your cousin but then I met you and now you have my heart, too.  I can’t wait to start our journey together.

Love,

Pawpaw

Waiting (patiently?)

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Our third grandchild was due yesterday.  YESTERDAY.  Apparently she or he doesn’t know that we (me?) are a very impatient family.  EVERYTHING is ready.  Bags are packed.  Exit strategies have been checked and double checked.  I’m sure our son-in-law Travis has developed a computer program that details the fastest, safest and most efficient way to travel to the hospital.  Now we just need the baby to join in the fun.

I think Bess is getting a little weary but she’s never been more beautiful and could be a model for some pregnancy magazine (if they have that sort of thing).  But still she’s ready to have her baby NOW.  Soon-to-be big sister Anna was telling me yesterday about how she plans to help with the baby by fetching diapers and singing lullabies.  She told me that babies go “wah, wah, wah, a lot” and that “they’re really little”.  So she’s prepared, too.  Travis is adorable – fretting over Bess and Anna and the ‘what, when, and why’, etc.  I love how much he loves my girls and I love him, too.

So here I am the granddad with nothing to offer.  I’m ready and patience has never been my ‘strong-suit’.  I just keep praying and thinking positive thoughts and try to be upbeat but that’s not much comfort to an overdue daughter and a nervous son-in-law.  I had a dream last night that Bess was hanging from some dangerously high beam at some construction site.  But I was able to save her!  And she was okay but she didn’t go into labor in my dream.  I guess I just need to feel like I’m serving some purpose even though this whole ‘having a baby thing’ is beyond my control.  When Bess was a little girl I could patch up a scraped knee but I’m completely useless in the baby delivery department.

Of course, there’s Nana Deb ALWAYS appearing calm in the face of uncertainty (man that bugs me!).  But I know that she’s as anxious as me and truth be known she’s getting a little antsy, too. 

One thing is for certain – Baby will arrive soon.  Dear God please grant me patience – but hurry!  Oh yeah, and help Bess and Baby, too.  Sometimes I forget that this isn’t all about me…

Peace,

Denis

Jerks and Killers

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Years ago my wife told me that all people were either basically good or basically bad.  In her explanation she gave the following examples:  Good = saints and various kind people.  Bad = jerks and killers.  It’s an understatement to say that those are pretty broad categories.  My kids and I have laughed at this pronouncement ever since but I’ve been married to Deborah for over 35 years now and I understand that to her it makes perfect sense.  I suppose that if humans and pigs share 99% of the same DNA then it’s not unreasonable to believe that saints and kind people and jerks and killers belong in the same behavioral categories.  I just hope Deb includes me in the “good” category.

Today I would like to focus on the jerks and killers. 

Lately at work someone has been brewing very weak coffee.  We have a ‘state of the art’ brewing system that a trained chimp could operate and yet EVERY morning I pour a cup of weak-ass coffee because some jerk can’t follow the simple instructions.  Hey stupid – you might as well drink hot water!  I’ve yet to discover who the jerk that can’t make coffee is.  But I have my suspicions.

There is a traffic merge near my office where EVERY night some jerks feel the need to stop.  YOU DON’T NEED TO STOP – IT’S A MERGE!  All these jerks are doing is holding up traffic. This is a daily annoyance.  For the love of God – read the sign.  Keep the traffic moving!  Of course my honking and yelling never seems to positively influence the offenders. 

My next door neighbor’s lawn looks like a cross between a mole farm and a prairie grass preserve.  Hey hillbilly – if you don’t want to take care of your lawn then don’t have one!  Move to an apartment or condo development where they take care of that sort of thing for you.  Look around jerk neighbor – you’re the only one whose lawn looks like a toxic waste dump. 

At the gym I attend there are several jerks but the one that is most offensive is the crazy guy that jumps from machine to machine and then becomes noticeably irritated, muttering curse words under his breath, when someone else decides to use the equipment that he had planned on “jumping to” next.  This guy might be slightly unstable (his appearance would tend to make you think so) but regardless he’s a jerk supreme. 

So when do jerks cross the line and become killers?  Do all jerks have the capacity for murder?  And should I be concerned about the jerk at the gym “snapping” and killing me for using a piece of equipment that he planned on using next?

If the shirt fits - wear it!

Unfortunately Debbie doesn’t have any answers for those questions.  So rather than worry about being killed by some jerk.  I’ve decided to work hard on not becoming a jerk myself and eventually a killer.  I suppose the whole jerk/killer thing could be a slippery slope. 

And now I’m wondering if I am considered a jerk by others?  Someone might be writing about me at this precise moment. 

I’m the jerk that bitches about the coffee EVERY morning.  I’m the jerk that honks at drivers EVERY night.  I’m the jerk that gives my neighbor the ‘cold shoulder’ because of his inferior lawn care ability.  And I’m the jerk at the gym that jumps on a piece of equipment right before someone else was planning on using it.    

Oh no!  I may not be a good person after all.  Don’t tell Debbie.  But please help me before I kill someone!  Your prayers will be appreciated.

Peace,

Denis

Love Story

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Today marks the one year anniversary of Aunt Sha’s death.  She and Uncle Ted died within weeks of one another last year – he in July; she in September.  They will be remembered forever for their extraordinary love for one another.  Their life together was a true love story.

Forever Love

 Here’s what I know:  Ted was about 20 years old and in the Air Force when they met in the early 1950’s.  Sha (actually Sharon) was working at restaurant in downtown St. Louis.  She was only seventeen.  On a dare she accepted a date with Ted.  Six weeks later they were married – the rest is history.  They remained “in love” with one another for the rest of their lives. 

They raised three children.  Uncle Ted retired from the Air Force and they settled in Western Kentucky where he worked until a second retirement.  Aunt Sha became a nurse.  Uncle Ted became a Sunday school teacher and a Deacon at their beloved First Baptist Church.  They made a nice life for themselves while their children grew and their grandchildren and great-grandchildren came along. 

For nearly 60 years they shared a life together that would serve as an example to all that knew them.  If you’re searching for role models, you can look to Aunt Sha and Uncle Ted.  Loving, devoted, caring, giving, selfless and always willing to reach out to others in need.  As long as I knew them they always had a plaque that hung over a doorway in their home that read: “As for me and my household; we will serve the Lord” – Joshua 24:15.  And they did!

But more importantly (to me anyway) was their love for one another.  They just loved each other – pure and simple as that.  There wasn’t a decision that was made that didn’t reflect their concern for one another.  If it was something as simple as where to have dinner – it wouldn’t do to have chosen someplace that they wouldn’t both enjoy.  When it came to big decisions the same consideration was given as well.  There was plenty of sacrifice (so that one could give the other what was needed or wanted) but always with love and NEVER with resentment or a need to get something in return.  They gave from their hearts.

I believe that the greatest gift that they gave to one another were themselves.  They cherished their time together.  They were their own best companions.  And they created such a home full of love that all that entered were better for having been there.  Whenever I think of hospitality and what it truly means I think of the house on Mayfield Highway.  It will always be my second home.  It will always remain in my heart as a place of laughter, love and refuge.  Whenever we would call to say we would like to visit the answer was always the same – YES.  “How soon will you be here?  We just need a little time to get things ready.” 

Aunt Sha and Uncle Ted treated one another as precious jewels – never forgetting to thank God for the blessing of their life together.  I’ve learned a lot from my own parents but I think that I have learned how to love Deb by the example Uncle Ted gave me.  And that may be the greatest gift that I have ever received.  I miss them both so much but I am comforted to know that they are in heaven together “getting things ready” for when we can join them.

Peace,

Denis

Here’s a link to a song that always makes me think of Uncle Ted and how he could find whatever it was that Aunt Sha “needed”.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw-BzhntIIg