Family

Here Comes The Bride

/ Denis Wilhelm / 3 Comments

Caprice and Jimmy

My niece Caprice is getting married in about 3 weeks.  It seems like only yesterday that she was my little “Pee Wee” perched on my lap.  But now she’s all grown up and ready to be a wife.  She’s had a wedding shower and a bachelorette party and all the preparations have been made – the church, the music, the reception, etc.  She and her fiance Jimmy are ready. 

Ready for the wedding day.  But are they ready for marriage?  Who knows?  Are any of us ever really ready?  I know that they are “IN LOVE” and I know that they have met with their minister and that she has “prepared them”.  But how much can you really “prepare” for marriage? 

I remember a 150 years ago when Deb and I got married and we met with Father Gary Goldaker at Trinity Episcopal Church and he asked us lots of questions and we gave him lots of answers.  And after no more than two meetings he then pronounced us “READY FOR MARRIAGE”.  Thank God we had all the answers back then because it has made married life so easy!  Of course a few years later we heard that Father Gary left the priesthood and was selling aluminum siding – so I guess our marriage has probably out-lasted some of that siding he sold (that stuff only has about a 25 year guarantee). 

Caprice and Jimmy are older and (smarter?) than we were in 1975.  And they have made good decisions up to this point so I’m guessing that they will have a marriage based on love and respect and equality.  I also know that they have a family that will always love and support and even “carry them” when necessary.  And if I could remember any of those answers from Gary Goldaker I would pass those on, too.

But now we’re all focused on THE WEDDING DAY.  THE BRIDE AND THE GROOM.  And that’s how it should be.  Serious marriage stuff has been dealt with already and their life together will continue to be an ongoing journey of faith and discovery.  Caprice and Jimmy have the rest of their lives to build their marriage.

So right now we’re looking forward to the Wedding Day and the party that is planned.  I’m always reminded that Jesus’ first public miracle was The Wedding Feast at Cana.  Even Jesus liked a good wedding reception.  So we’re going to celebrate on November 6th.  When Caprice comes down the aisle there will be smiles and tears (Deb cries at Hallmark® commercials) and once again I will have my faith in marriage renewed.  And later at the reception I’ll dance like nobody is watching because I’ll bet Jesus did that after ‘The Wine Thing’. 

Here comes the bride.  Everybody please rise!

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, it is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.   It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Peace,

Denis

Look Who’s Six Years Old!

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Charlise

On 10/10/10 Charlise Clare Wilhelm will be six years old.  It’s hard to believe that we have a six year old granddaughter. Time flies!  It only seems like yesterday that we met our ‘Little Peanut’ and now here she is ready to be a big girl.  But not too fast – please!  She might be ready to be a big girl but Pawpaw still needs some time to catch up.

Charlise is in kindergarten – a big milestone.  She loves school and I’m certain her teacher loves her, too.   Her circle of influence is growing and her peers’ opinions are VERY IMPORTANT now.  She is similar to all other kids in her need to ‘fit in’ and I’m sure she will have more than her fair share of school friends.  She has a way of winning people over with her big smile.  She’s already a charmer at six!

This Saturday she is having a “bowling” birthday party and has invited everyone in her classroom.  It will fun to see her interact with her new friends.  I can already tell that she will be popular in school because she is such a loving and giving little girl.  She just has a way about her – so sweet, so nice, so Charlise!

Charlise and I have a lot fun being silly together.  We tease Nana and we laugh a lot.  We make funny noises and we chase around the house.  We play outside and hunt for wild chihuahuas in the backyard (one of our many ‘pretend’ games).  I guess when she gets older she will either remember this time fondly or laugh about it – either way; I’m okay.

As exciting as it is to see her grow up and become her own little person, I sometimes can’t help but reminisce about when she was born.  She arrived a month before she was due and only weighed 3-1/2 lbs.  I will never forget holding her for the first time and feeling like the luckiest man alive – I believe I still am!  But there are times when I really miss Baby Charlise.  When she spends the night at our house now she sleeps in THE BIG BED in the yellow bedroom.  But when I look in on her late at night and watch her sleeping and listen to her breathe I can still catch a glimpse of our sweet baby who was such a little peanut at birth.  She lies there in peaceful sleep and her face still has the innocence and purity of an angel – I’m certain (for me) that it will never go away.

Charlise is our first grandchild.  And being first gives her special status.  She was the first grandchild to capture my heart and she will hold it forever.  I know that God has blessed me and her name is Charlise.

Happy Birthday Peanut!

Love,

Pawpaw

Big Sisters ~ Little Brothers

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There’s a special relationship between big sisters and little brothers.  It seems that big sisters tend to “mother” their little brothers and little brothers often seek their big sister’s approval.  But it’s much more than that.  There’s a special love that they share that’s on a psychic or spiritual level.  I’ve been fortunate enough to have witnessed this dynamic between  big sister/little brother many times in my life.  God has blessed our family three-fold: my wife Deb and her “little brother” Brett; our daughter Bess and her “little brother” Blake; and now our granddaughter Anna and her “little brother” Noah.

This sister/brother love is life-long.  It is pure.  And it is unconditional.  What a gift God has bestowed on these sisters and brothers! 

I firmly believe that Debbie is such a good mother because she learned ‘how-to’ on Brett.  She was (and still is) in many ways his second mother.  I’ve seen how she can comfort him and I’ve witnessed her heartbreak when he has dealt with dissapointment or sadness in his life.  She celebrates his joys and supports him in all he does.  SHE IS HIS ROCK.  And I know too that Brett loves and cares for Deb equally and that they share a bond that is eternal. 

From the time that our son Blake was born, his “big sister” Bess has been his guardian angel.  She has protected him and cared for him from the start.  Their love is something that only they can truly know.  The rest of us can observe from the outside, but they seem to communicate on a level that is all their own.  Even though they are ‘grown-ups’ now, Bess still worries about her “little brother” and Blake still seems to need her approval (or maybe it’s her affirmation) from time to time.  When he was a little boy, she would comfort him if he was upset.  And often she was the ONLY ONE that he wanted when sad or hurt.  Blake was a freshman and Bess was a senior at the University of Wisconsin when Blake broke his jaw (there are some sketchy details on what actually caused the break).  Bess flew to his side, helping him when Deb and I couldn’t be there.  Of course, she wouldn’t have considered anything else.  And Blake has been ‘ON CALL’ when his niece and nephew were born – he needed constant updates as to how Bess was doing.  This “caring for one another” seems to be the cement that holds them together.

I see already how two-year-old Anna loves her “little brother”.  The night that he was born, while he was being “cleaned up” in the hospital nursery, Anna and her Daddy, and I watched outside the nursery window (Mommy was ‘being put back together’).  While we were witnessing Noah’s first few minutes of life, an old man that was a patient at the hospital was wheeled up to look at the babies.  He asked Anna if that was her baby brother and of course she said yes.  He then asked her if she thought he could get a baby brother, too.  Her reply: “Yes but not this one – he’s mine!”  In those first few moments, looking through the glass, she had claimed her “little brother”.  And as tears welled up in my eyes I could only imagine how special their life together will be.  Another big sister/little brother legacy was born.  And once more I was blessed for having witnessed it.

Peace,

Denis

A Glimpse of Heaven

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

This has been whirl-wind week.  My grandson Noah was born on Monday and everything else just sort of fell in place behind that momentous event.  It’s amazing how one blessing can diminish all the crappy stuff in your life.  I’ve had my usual encounter with annoying and hateful people this week but somehow I have become invincible.  Their snide remarks and unloving behavior have had no effect on me.  Because of the love that God has shown me in Noah and his sister and his parents, NO ONE not even the curmudgeonliest interloper has stolen my joy.  I’m not even sure if curmudgeonlist is a word.  But guess what?  I don’t care!  I have a force-field of love shielding me from all the ugliness and hate in the world.  Take that – haters!

Noah "sizing up" his Daddy

I’ve had a glimpse of heaven this week.  And I’m hanging on to it as long as I can.  I don’t want to become someone who never faces reality (although it’s tempting) but for a while I plan on basking in the “afterglow” of Noah’s arrival here on earth.  Having him in our family has helped put a lot of little things in perspective – and some big things, too. 

Somehow bad drivers, annoying co-workers, demanding customers, and trying family members don’t seem to be worth getting upset about.  The annoying co-workers?  Well Anna was in my office on Tuesday winning hearts and cheering the place up in two-year-old fashion.  She told EVERYONE about her baby brother!  The gas station attendant that was smoking near the gas pumps on Wednesday was frightening but not important enough to fight about.  I just calmly asked her to put her cigarette out – so that we didn’t BOTH blow up.  I have too much to live for!  The customer that WANTS EVERYTHING IMMEDIATELY – is going to have to wait awhile.  I’ve got a baby to hold!  The trying family members – well I hope that Noah will melt their hearts, too.  After all, he’s got super powers!

And this week even simple kindnesses seemed to appear more loving, more caring, and more God-like.  It felt like people have smiled more, were more courteous, and were generally happier.  I believe the “joy of Noah” has had a rippling effect.  The best examples of God’s enduring love are these:  

  • After Noah’s first night home, big sister Anna awoke on Thursday morning to find him in bed with Mommy and Daddy.  Of course she crawled into their bed to join them.  When finally snuggled next to her baby brother, she patted him gently and said, “It alright Noah, I here, I got you now.”
  • Last night while saying bedtime prayers, which now include Noah by name, Anna stopped and announced, “My whole family is here!”   And we were blessed once again for having been there.

So I’ve had my glimpse of heaven this week with my grandson in my arms and my granddaughter playing nearby.  And I’ve got to tell you – it’s a wonderful world!

Peace,

Denis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAZqjsSZphE&feature=related

The Story of Noah

/ Denis Wilhelm / 2 Comments

You all know the story of Noah and The Ark.  God tells Noah to collect two of every animal and put them on his boat (ark) before the Great Flood.  God saves the world with Noah’s help!  Even if you don’t believe in God, it’s a great redemption story.  A story of renewal and second chances.

Monday my daughter and son-in-law got their ‘second chance’.  Noah was born.  He is their second child.  A second chance for love.  And who knows how he will change our world – he’s already changed our family.  My guess is that he will work slowly – one heart at a time.  He is already responsible for so much happiness and he is barely aware of himself at this point.  Babies are ALWAYS about redemption and renewal – God’s way of letting us know we should keep on keepin’ on.  Noah gives me hope!

Noah looking more like Moses here

 

Noah Wilhelm Kleckner joined the world on Monday 9-20-10 with a bang!  Mommy (Bess) and Nana (Debbie) were at Bess’s regularly scheduled doctor’s appointment when Bess went into labor.  Here’s Deb’s account:

“I took Bess to the doctor for her last prenatal visit (she was going to be induced on Wednesday).  Travis stayed home with Anna because it was nap time and this was just supposed to be a routine visit.  Bess and I had lunch about 1 p.m.  She said that she had a couple of contractions earlier in the morning, but certainly nothing to get excited about.

Her appointment was at 1:45 and when we arrived we learned that Dr. Kodner had gone home sick.  So there was a longer than usual wait.  Bess had a couple of contractions and when she couldn’t talk while she was having one, we decided to start timing them.  They were 4 minutes apart for almost an hour.  So Bess went to the counter and said that she was pretty sure she had gone into labor while she was waiting.  They saw her pretty quickly after that!  They examined her and asked if she had her bag with her.  Of course she did not!  We went straight to the hospital.  I called Denis and told him to go to Bess and Travis’ house and not to goof around (as if I would – editorial comment) getting there.

We got to the hospital about 3:45.  Travis arrived a short while later.  By then Bess was telling us not to touch her or breathe on her!  She got an epidural and then life was much better.  She told Travis to go and get something to eat before things got too busy (he’s a known fainter).  The nurse broke her water about 6:15 and said she would be back in 30 minutes to check her progress.  When the nurse returned to check, she lifted the sheet and said “And…we’re…having a baby!”  It was remarkably calm and I was kind of stuck in the corner trying to stay out-of-the-way.  And just that quickly, Noah was born.

No one had planned on me being there but there was no time to leave.  I feel a little like I intruded on their very special time, but mostly I feel like I was right where God wanted me to be.  What a blessing to behold! ~ Love, Debbie”

Meanwhile big sister Anna and I were at home watching ‘Wonder Pets’ and waiting for THE CALL.  The good news came and we were summoned to the hospital where Anna would meet her little brother.

Holding my grandson Monday evening for the first time made me realize (once again) how much God has blessed us.  And I knew then that I was being given (another) second chance.

Peace,

Denis

Waiting (patiently?)

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Our third grandchild was due yesterday.  YESTERDAY.  Apparently she or he doesn’t know that we (me?) are a very impatient family.  EVERYTHING is ready.  Bags are packed.  Exit strategies have been checked and double checked.  I’m sure our son-in-law Travis has developed a computer program that details the fastest, safest and most efficient way to travel to the hospital.  Now we just need the baby to join in the fun.

I think Bess is getting a little weary but she’s never been more beautiful and could be a model for some pregnancy magazine (if they have that sort of thing).  But still she’s ready to have her baby NOW.  Soon-to-be big sister Anna was telling me yesterday about how she plans to help with the baby by fetching diapers and singing lullabies.  She told me that babies go “wah, wah, wah, a lot” and that “they’re really little”.  So she’s prepared, too.  Travis is adorable – fretting over Bess and Anna and the ‘what, when, and why’, etc.  I love how much he loves my girls and I love him, too.

So here I am the granddad with nothing to offer.  I’m ready and patience has never been my ‘strong-suit’.  I just keep praying and thinking positive thoughts and try to be upbeat but that’s not much comfort to an overdue daughter and a nervous son-in-law.  I had a dream last night that Bess was hanging from some dangerously high beam at some construction site.  But I was able to save her!  And she was okay but she didn’t go into labor in my dream.  I guess I just need to feel like I’m serving some purpose even though this whole ‘having a baby thing’ is beyond my control.  When Bess was a little girl I could patch up a scraped knee but I’m completely useless in the baby delivery department.

Of course, there’s Nana Deb ALWAYS appearing calm in the face of uncertainty (man that bugs me!).  But I know that she’s as anxious as me and truth be known she’s getting a little antsy, too. 

One thing is for certain – Baby will arrive soon.  Dear God please grant me patience – but hurry!  Oh yeah, and help Bess and Baby, too.  Sometimes I forget that this isn’t all about me…

Peace,

Denis

Baby, Oh Baby!

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Our daughter Bess is due next weekend. Seems like we’ve waited a long time for Baby Number Two – and now all of sudden it’s time! I don’t why I have to be ready but I feel like I do.  And how exactly am I supposed to ready myself?  Third grandchild.  Second child of my daughter and son-in-law.  We’ve been down this road before.  We’re experienced.  And yet this morning I was praying for Bess and Baby and I remembered how excited we were when our third child was born. 

Bess is ready!

I’ll never forget the nurse in the hospital that thought Blake was our first child because we were so happy.  And how much her surprise at finding out he was our third disturbed me.  Oh sure, there’s some stuff we thought we knew but we didn’t know him and we hadn’t ever had three children  before.  And maybe it was just a little bit scary but it was wonderful!  How could we not be excited?

Bess is ready.  Travis is ready.  The nursery is ready.  Anna is as ready as a two year old can be (her going to Nana & Pawpaw’s suitcase is packed).  All necessary preparations have been made.  We’re all prepared.  But babies have a funny way of changing the rules.  They come when they’re ready.  They sometimes come with a roar.   They sometimes come with a whimper.  But Baby will come and be loved and our lives will be filled with more joy.

I’m out of town right now and I feel a little anxious about Baby arriving while I’m gone.  As if she or he needs me to be there.  I guess it’s selfish but I want to be there and see that face and meet that little person that will change our lives and win our hearts – yes it’s been done before but not like this and not with this little individual.  God continues to bless us.  I just want to be there to give thanks.

Here’s my prayer:

All loving God,

Hear my prayer for my daughter Bess who awaits the birth of her child.  She has cooperated with you in giving life.  Assist her as she prepares to give birth to her baby.  May she be filled with your peace and blessing so that she may bring her child into this world safely and in good health.

Amen

My prayer is also that all babies could be loved as much as I know this one will be.

Peace,

Denis

Brotherly Love

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This past weekend my nephew Dave married his love Laura.  It was a beautiful wedding and a fabulous family celebration!  Relatives I hadn’t seen in a while were in attendance and new friendships were formed with Laura’s family.  Phenomenal weather, beautiful ceremony, fun reception – all around great day!  Our granddaughter Charlise was the Flower Girl.  Of course Deb and I were proud and pleased to see her be part of the wedding ceremony.  And while my heart was over-flowing with emotions – my nephew getting married; my beautiful granddaughter; recollections of my own wedding (centuries ago) – I couldn’t help but feel a little sadness, too.  You see our son Tyson, Charlise’s father, wasn’t able to be with us on Saturday.  Tyson is in the Air Force and is currently stationed in Germany awaiting orders for Korea.  He’ll be home on leave in November but needless to say, he couldn’t be with us at Dave and Laura’s wedding.  So it was bittersweet watching his little girl walking down the aisle knowing that her Daddy was in Germany alone.  Such is the life of a military man – sacrifice.

Fortunately our daughter Bess, our son-in-law Travis, our son Blake and his girlfriend Julia were with us.  And each of them seemed to step in for Tyson when the need arose.  Before the wedding when Charlise was getting a little ‘antsy’ her Uncle Blake amused her and kept her ever-joyful.  Her Aunt Bess helped her with last minute adjustments to her dress/hair/flowers.  All of them doted on her and made her feel like the center of attention (and at times she seemed to be).  Between the wedding and reception our family along with my niece and her fiancé went to a local restaurant where Charlise was treated as a princess by all – even the wait staff.  She was beaming! 

Later while I was dancing with Charlise at the reception I noticed Bess and Travis and Blake and Julia all eagerly awaiting their turn to dance with her.  Her Aunt and Uncles were proxy Daddies on Saturday and Charlise never lacked for attention or love the entire day.  Did they do this for Charlise or Ty?  I’m sure that they didn’t give it that much thought.  It’s just what they do. Our kids (and the ones they love) have an extraordinary capacity for caring.  Debbie and I have made lots of mistakes (well mostly me) but one thing I am sure that we did right along the way was to teach our children how to love.  How to give.  How to care.  And on Saturday my heart nearly burst with pride for the way they ‘loved’, ‘cared for’ and ‘gave to’ Tyson in loving, caring and giving to his daughter.  He may not have been there to share in the joy of the day but he can rest assured that his siblings were there for him.  It’s just the way they’re made – from love.

Peace,

Denis

Put Your Play Clothes On!

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Last week my two year old granddaughter Anna met me at the back door.  It had been a long and stressful day –unreasonable customers; blundering suppliers; disgruntled employees; disappointing profit margins; idiot commuters; and me!  Me: all serious and angry and full of spite.  And Anna: all smiles and giggles and full of joy.  I hadn’t even entered the house and she was there jumping up and down; excited and happy to see me.  What had I done to deserve such a welcome?  It didn’t matter.  Before I could scoop her up in my arms she asked me, “Pawpaw, you wanna put your play clothes on?”  Those words were music to my ears!

Who wouldn’t want to drop EVERYTHING (bad mood, shitty day, lousy traffic) and put their play clothes on?  Anna and I then ran to my room and while I changed my clothes something magical happened – I changed; I really changed.  I felt better instantly!  Anna didn’t care about profits or schedules or developmental deals.  She just wanted to play with her Pawpaw.  And so we did! 

I shed more than my business attire when I put on my play clothes.  I let go of my day.  And I was able to focus on what was really important – my loved ones.  I listened (really listened) to Anna.  She had so much to tell me about what she and her Nana had done that day.  And her happiness was contagious.  Soon I was happy, too.  I guess it took putting on my play clothes to see through the eyes of a two year old.  I thanked God right then and there for sending this little angel into my life.  Maybe she knew what I needed – when I couldn’t see it myself.

We went outside and watered flowers and she drank from the garden hose – which is very exotic when you’re a two year old.  We played with the dogs.  We laughed.  We ran around the backyard.  I got lots of kisses and hugs (and returned the favor, too).  And she told me that she loved me for no apparent reason. What a difference a change of clothes makes! It was really nothing remarkable, just simple fun with my granddaughter – which is what made it so special. 

So the next time you’re having a lousy day and your world is a little more than you can handle, I recommend that you “put your play clothes on”.  I’m willing to bet that you will change more than your clothes.

Peace,

Denis

The First Day

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On August 31, 2010 our granddaughter Charlise starts kindergarten.  She’s our first granddaughter, so she gets to do all the ‘firsts’.  Tomorrow is a big day for her and for us, too.  It seems like just yesterday that she was born.  Now she starts kindergarten.  She’s ready; we’re not.  She’s still our baby girl (and always will be).

But I’ve been thinking about ‘first days’ a lot lately: 

Charlise starts her first day of school at Central Elementary – it sounds so official.  Do I need to go there and make sure that the teachers and principal know how special she is?  I know that they will teach her.  But will they protect her?  Love her?  Care for her?  Will they know that she’s too precious to be considered “just another kindergartener”? 

My nephew David is getting married this weekend and he and Laura will soon have their ‘first day’ as husband and wife.  Do they understand what this all means (does anyone)?  Are they really prepared to love, honor and (I don’t know – do we still say “obey”)?   Will their ‘honeymoon’ last forever?  Is their life together going to be ‘The Excellent Adventure’ that marriage is meant to be?

My daughter and son-in-law are about to welcome a new baby into their home.  And his or her ‘first day’ will change EVERYTHING.  Bess is due in just a couple of weeks and right now the anticipation of a new baby is a little nerve-racking but the miracle of another new life makes it all worthwhile.  This baby’s ‘first day’ will be a cause for joy and celebration and will become this special little someone’s ‘birthday’ to be celebrated each year! 

All ready for her first day!

These ‘first days’ are only important because they mark the start of something bigger:  a new academic beginning; a new marriage; a new life.  ‘First days’ are full of emotion and joy and apprehension and unknown.  Imagine if each day was treated like a ‘first day’.  Think about how exciting your job would be if you looked at each day as a ‘first day’ – dressing up and having your picture taken before you ventured out.  Wonder, if you will, about how much better your marriage could be if you were as excited about rolling over in bed to kiss goodnight as you were on your wedding day.  What if you could get ‘butterflies in your stomach’ just thinking about sharing breakfast together?  And what if each day was celebrated as a ‘birthday’?  What kind of change in attitude might we experience if we thanked God each day for our life and the lives of those we love?  How different would we feel if we celebrated the miracle of life constantly – even the cranky middle-aged lives like mine?

Tomorrow will be Charlise’s ‘first day’ and I will be proud and happy for her and a little emotional.  There will probably be a special ‘first day’ breakfast before she leaves the house.  There will be excitment all day and lots to talk about when she gets home.  What fun!

I’m praying that I can be just as excited about coming to work tomorrow.  Maybe I’ll dress up and have Deb take my picture before I leave the house.  Who knows it could the ‘first day’ of my new attitude!

Peace,

Denis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWfZ5SZZ4xE&feature=fvw