grandkids

Relating To The World

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

It’s the second week of Advent and I’m feeling the pressure to be more holy (or holy at all, in my case). So I’m lighting my Advent wreath and reflecting on how I celebrate our Savior’s birth. Can I love God and love our modern (sometimes tacky) celebration of Christmas, too? Must they be mutually exclusive?

Merriam-Webster defines the word secular as: Relating to worldly concerns; not overtly or specifically religious. That doesn’t sound so menacing to me. And yet I’m constantly hearing about the evils of the secular world in which we live. It seems that lately our priests’ homilies are filled with warnings about being consumed by our secular society. On the first Sunday of Advent we were admonished for placing gift-giving, holiday decorating, and Santa Claus before Christ. Somehow those things are equated with secularism and by association deemed contrary to what Christmas should really be about.

Second Week of Advent

Sometimes I think that we get so caught up in protecting our traditions we forget that some of our most sacred Christian celebrations – Easter and Christmas were placed on the calendar to take advantage of earlier non-Christian feasts. People were already partying at the spring and winter equinoxes so why not just slip Christ’s resurrection and birth into those time slots? Did we in fact Christianize earlier pagan feasts? I don’t know – maybe. But who cares? Is Christ’s birth and life on Earth less significant if he wasn’t actually born on December 25th? Is his resurrection any less meaningful because of when we celebrate?

Living in the world today, spending too much money on silly Christmas presents and decorating a tree doesn’t define our belief in Christ any more than the likelihood that we celebrate his birth on what was once a pagan feast day.

The Lord is patient with you, not wishing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.     2 Peter 3:9

I know that “Jesus is the reason for the season” but as a Christian I believe that he’s also the reason there’s a world to live in. So I’ll try to relate to it the best that I can. It just so happens that some of his creation likes a little tinsel, eggnog and “Jingle Bells” blasting from their iPods. I suspect that God is not offended but merely amused when I’m “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” or playing Santa with my grandkids. And for the record, in our house, we all sing “O Come O Come Emmanuel” at the dinner table after lighting our Advent wreath, too. Somehow it works because at the center of it all is love. Isn’t that what Jesus asked us to do?

Peace,

Denis

Remembering…

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

This morning I read names at the Mass of Remembrance. Our parish celebrates the lives of those that have died each year on the first Saturday in November. I’ve done this a few times and it’s a beautiful ceremony and I believe it’s especially healing for those that have recently lost loved ones. Of course the physical challenge is pronouncing the names correctly – particularly the Polish, Italian and Chinese names. I always ask the Holy Spirit to help with that and I suppose even if I butcher a name or two it won’t be the first time that these families have had to endure some clod that can’t pronounce ‘Um Sung Huan’ (somehow that makes me feel better – my apologies to the Sung Huan family, oh and to the Szcgielski family, too).

But my ability (or inability) to pronounce names doesn’t diminish the significance of this day. As Catholic Christians we believe in life after death. Further we believe in some type of purgation of our souls. We believe some folks go straight to heaven; others may exist in a state of being somewhere between life on earth and eternal life with Christ. It’s a sticking point with my Protestant friends but it is Scripturally founded.

If he were not expecting the fallen to rise again, it would have been foolish to pray for the dead. But if he did this with a view to the splendid reward that awaits those who had gone to rest in Godliness, it was a holy and pious thought. Thus he made atonement for the dead that they might be absolved from their sin. 2 Maccabees 12:44-46

I’m not trying to convert anyone here; just trying to explain my own faith tradition. But my traditions are beside the point. What I experienced this morning was joy through sorrow. Which is exactly what Jesus offers us each day. And it’s only in our darkness that we can truly find the light. This morning as I read each name I felt honored to speak the name of a loved one; someone who was being lifted up in prayer or more likely being asked to pray for the loved ones remaining here on Earth. Afterall, my personal saints are in all heaven (Aunt Noel, Aunt Minnie, Mimi, Grandpa Tony, Aunt Sha, Uncle Ted, and countless others). Who better to ask prayers of than those who are experiencing the eternal light of God.

Not long ago my granddaughter Charlise told me, “Pawpaw someday you’re going to die.” I have to admit that I wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that truth. I think I told her that I would like to be very old when that happens but I assured her that I would be in heaven ALWAYS smiling down on her.

Today I was reminded (again) that I may need her help getting there.

Peace,

Denis

Boys Will Be Boys…

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

Well maybe it’s true that “boys will be boys” but it’s also true that boys will become men. And as I prepare to celebrate my grandson Noah’s first birthday this weekend, I can’t help but wonder what kind of man he’ll be someday. Certainly he’ll be strong and kind and generous like his Daddy and smart and loving and faith-filled like his Mommy.

Noah already has a distinct personality. He’s happy. He’s curious. He’s affectionate. He’s fearless. And he is single-minded in his determination (he gets what he wants through sheer brut force, when flashing those big blue eyes fails – which is rare). He looks up to his big sister who will no doubt someday have to physically look up to him. But Anna is clearly in charge and Noah seeks her approval in all things. This will likely be a life-long goal.

"Do it again, Pawpaw!"

He’s a Momma’s boy but he’s Daddy shadow. He loves to hang on his Nana but Pawpaw can make him giggle the loudest. He likes to play “rough and tumble” but he still likes to cuddle. He’s just a sweet boy. And I suspect that he will be a sweetheart of a man one day, too.

He’s blessed with loving, caring parents, a sister that adores him, and doting grandparents. Some people might say he’s a lucky boy, but we’re the lucky ones. We get to take part in the life of this beautiful gift from God who fills our days with so much joy.

I pray that he always knows how much he is loved. And I hope that all his dreams come true.

Noah, Here’s a little video I made just for you. ~ Love, Pawpaw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zhI-UZOWSQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Making Anna Cry

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Last night my three year-old granddaughter Anna was being a little mischievous. She was antsy at dinner and didn’t want to eat anything (except dessert of course). After much cajoling she finally ate enough to qualify for some ice cream. Once that milestone had been met she promptly bounded out of her chair and dashed to the refrigerator. And then she threw both the refrigerator and freezer doors open. When I reminded her that she wasn’t supposed to open the refrigerator she protested that “she had eaten her dinner”.

Now usually I’m pretty accommodating when it comes to the grandkids (some would say I’m a sucker) but this particular time I decided to hold my ground. In a battle with an impetuous three year-old you have to be pretty wily. So I decided to show her who was boss. I told her that I would gladly get her some ice cream from the downstairs freezer after she picked up the Legos that were strewn on the laundry room floor. Did I mention that I was using my big loud “I’M IN CHARGE” voice? Anna is not accustomed to hearing me speak to her that way and with that came the tears. Not just tears – sobs!

Her mother had previously threatened her with a dreaded “time out” and Anna was undaunted. But Pawpaw raising his voice and telling her NO? That was too much! And she cried. And cried! And cried!
 
When her Nana tried to intervene by asking her why she was crying so hard, she responded: “Because Pawpaw was mean to me!” Ouch! That stung. I had merely wanted her to mind me, not to emotionally scar her for life. What had I done? What kind of beast had I become? Now I was the one fighting back the tears. But instead of giving in (my first impulse), I decided to reason with her. Reasoning with a three year-old is like trying to put socks on an octopus. But I gave it a try because I think that Anna is more reasonable than most three year-olds (at least in my experience – remember I raised her mother).
 
I held her and wiped her tears and explained that my old refrigerator couldn’t handle being opened and closed too often and that the doors don’t always close all the way without the special push that Nana and Pawpaw give them. Because three year-olds anamorphize most things, in her mind that poor refrigerator became a living thing which must be treated with some compassion. Additionally I told her that I would help her pick up the Legos and we could count them to see how many we each could pick up. She smiled because she counted: “one, two, three, four, five, one hundred”. And then declared herself the winner! By then most of the tears were gone although her little face was still red and tear-stained.
 
When I returned to the table with the promised ice cream she seemed to have forgiven me but I’ll never know for sure. And of course Deb (Nana) and Bess (Mommy) were now crying, too.

During Happier Times

Making Anna cry is not what I had intended to do. But I suppose that all grandfathers find themselves in tough spots sometimes. I could have ignored her naughtiness, and maybe I should have, but something made me risk her adoration by standing firm. I hope that she will understand how much I love her and that even the best granddaughters need to be told “no” every once in a while. But for now I’ve sworn off disciplining my grandkids, I much prefer being the big softie.
 
I don’t plan on making Anna cry any time soon. Honestly, it’s really more than I can take. So yes Anna; whatever it is you want, the answer is yes!
 
Peace,

Denis

Summertime

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

I love summer! Sunshine. Hot weather. Swimming pools. Cool drinks. Baseball. Watermelon. Picnics. Patios. Barbeque. I love it all.

My love of summertime started as a kid. NO SCHOOL! My best friend and I would meet up after breakfast and literally play all day long. On most summer days we would pack our lunches so that we wouldn’t have to be home until supper and then we would resume playtime again until dark. There were only a few rules in the summer:

  1. Be home in time for supper.
  2. Be home again before dark (and that could be bypassed if you had a pre-approved backyard campout at your friend’s house).
  3. Go to Mass on Sundays.
  4. Take an occasional bath (especially prior to aforementioned Mass).

Summertime and the livin’ was easy! Lena Horne sang it and we lived it…

Hunting "Wild Chihuahuas" on "The Hill"

Of course times were simpler back then and maybe safer, too. Certainly parents didn’t have the fears then that they do today. The only helmets that we had were our “Army helmets” that we wore when we played soldiers. We swam in creeks. We drank out of those same creeks. We played in open fields. We ate wild berries. And we somehow survived.

Today begins the 4th of July weekend and I’m determined to let my grandkids be a little adventurous today. We won’t be drinking creek water but maybe we’ll drink from the garden hose when the “adults” aren’t looking. Maybe we can run around barefoot in the backyard. Or perhaps we’ll “hunt for wild Chihuahuas” up on the hill in our overgrown garden. I love that my grandkids encourage my need to be a kid.

I hope that you get to have some summer fun, too!

Peace,

Denis

Watching Time Fly

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

My sweet boy!

Deb was holding our grandson Noah the other night and I walked up and asked, “Noah, do want to come to Pawpaw?” He put his little arms out toward me – it was wonderful!

Just over seven months ago he came into this world and now he has two teeth; he’s crawling; he likes to pull his sister’s hair and no one can make him laugh harder than she can; he’s a known earring snatcher; he can pull himself up into a sitting position; his ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ are CLEARLY known; and his personality has already been established – he’s a happy, sweet, curious, boy who is easily distracted AND doesn’t like big noises. (The being easily distracted and disliking big noises might be hereditary).

Lately I’ve been marveling at how much his big sister Anna has grown (okay maybe not in stature but certainly in intellect – besides we like petite in our family!) and everyday she seems to know something new. But Noah’s changes are equally amazing and every day or so he has accomplished a new feat. And their relationship is growing each day as well. From the start Anna made it clear that Noah was HER brother but now he seems to know that she’s HIS, too. Their interactions are something to behold – they already seem to have a special understanding that is uniquely their own.

All this ‘watching the grandkids grow’ business has got me thinking about how “time flies”. It seems like only yesterday that our kids were crawling and playing together and learning new things each day and now they have kids of their own. My Mom would tell you, “the older that you get, the faster time flies”. Wow! And now I know it’s true – I’m watching my life go whirring past at record speed. Part of me wants it to S L O W D O W N and another part of me is excited for the next phase; the next adventure; the next milestone.

Big Sister ~ Little Brother

So what can we do? Well, we can’t do anything about time. But we can do everything about how we spend (or mis-spend) it. I’m going to try (once again) to quiet myself and listen to God. I’m going to continue to exercise and eat right so that I can get down on the floor and play with Noah, Anna, and Charlise AND then hopefully be able to get up off the floor without assistance. I’m going to remind Debbie how much I love her and thank her for loving me, too. I will (try) to take time and be patient with my parents and in-laws (more prayer will be required for that one). I will try to be a better husband, father, brother and friend. I will try to be a better employee, boss and colleague. I will try to be a better citizen. And I will celebrate MY LIFE and whatever time God allows me to have here on this Earth.

In the meantime, I need to learn how to “crawl like an animal; not like a baby, Pawpaw!”. That was a recent request – so I guess I’ll be learning something new everyday, too.

Peace,
Denis