Work

Snow Day

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Day two of my capitivity.  Blizzard conditions! Ice! Thunder! Thunder and snow???  How strange!!!

This isn’t a fun snow day. No fluffy flakes of snow waiting to be transformed into smiling snowmen. No sledding in the park. This is ice. Treacherous. Dangerous. Stay in your house and off the streets – ice! And for a ‘follow-up’ they’re predicting blizzard-like conditions. How wonderful!

Looking out my lonely window

Our offices were closed yesterday afternoon and we’re home today and maybe tomorrow, too.  Snow days were fun as a kid but working from home while also watching weather reports “ad nauseam” and keeping one eye looking out the window is exhausting. This ‘multi-tasking’ is very challenging. I’m also thinking about all the work piling up at my office that couldn’t be transported home. So much for telecommuting (or whatever it’s called).

Plus I don’t know why but I can’t stop looking at the weather and I’m afraid that I’m becoming obsessed. I’m concerned about folks who have to work in this mess (my nephew particularly) but also healthcare workers, police, road crews, mail carriers (the irony here is that I won’t risk falling down trying to walk to my mailbox to get the mail that the mail carrier risked his life to deliver). What’s really crazy is that retail stores are open today. How miserable for the Walmart/Target/Macy’s associates that risk life and limb to get to a store that is likely empty. But God forbid that someone not “show up” for work! So much for common sense.

I just finished a conference call with our manufacturing partners in Guadalajara, Mexico – it’s 80 degrees and sunny there. On the contrary, we’re expecting -6 degrees tonight and 12″ to 20″ of snow. So it’s time for a little ‘pity party’. I think I’ll take a break from work. I’ll have some hot chocolate and maybe some cookies or a muffin. Perhaps I can ‘eat’ myself happy. 

Snow days were fun as a kid. Now I just feel like I’m under ‘house arrest’. “Oh, look it’s starting to snow again!”

I guess after my snack and my nap I’ll work on my jigsaw puzzle. I don’t know, maybe this isn’t so bad after all…

Peace,

Denis

It’s That Time of Year Again

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Taxes, Colonoscopies, and Employee Reviews. Three dreaded annual events. I’d sooner do my taxes and have my colon “snaked” than write those blasted reviews. Every year I hate writing employee evaluations. And every year it only seems to get worse.

No matter how you color it; you can give them fancy names like Employee Improvement Process or Personal Development Plan; you can have the employee “take ownership” by doing a “self-assessment”; it still boils down to the same thing. These are ADULT REPORT CARDS. And they come with the same terror, surprise, delight or indifference as when the receiver was in fact a student.

I personally hate reviews for two reasons: First, you can only use the words paradigm, strategic, self-motivated, and mentor in so many sentences. Secondly, when the review is actually being given, I can’t help but think that the employee is only hearing “WAH, WAH; WAH, WAH, WAH” – like the adults in the Peanuts cartoons.

But again this year, like so many years in the past, I will give it my all and try (really try) to find positive things to say and to address “areas of improvement” so that the members of my staff can “grow in their roles as leaders in our organization”.  Which I suppose is better than saying, “You don’t suck; but you still do a lot of stupid stuff”.

For those of you that share the treaded task of giving employee evaluations, I just have one piece of advice: Keep it short and sweet (if possible). Everyone that’s done a crappy already knows it – why bore them with the details? And the ones that have done a good job would rather that you just show them the money.

So enough already with the “WAH, WAH; WAH, WAH, WAH”!

Peace,

Denis

Hurry Up and Wait

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

Poolside in Cancun

Ever have one of those days (weeks) where everything required “hurrying” and then “waiting”?  I’m (sort of) stuck in Mexico right now on a jobsite – Cancun, actually.  We were supposed to deliver store fixtures and begin installation yesterday morning but…  Well, this is Mexico and every time I work here I’m reminded that we Americans do not rule the world, regardless of what we might have been taught to believe. Something about flooded roads and trucks not being allowed to pass through certain areas have caused delays.  My contact Ernesto keeps telling me everything is OKAY.  But somehow I’m starting to lose confidence in his assurances.  Actually it’s kind of refreshing to know that we Americans (by the way Mexicans are Americans, too) are NOT the grand imperialists that some people would have you believe, but that’s another story.

Anyway my Spanish is very limited and my patience is even less so, but I’m trying to “chill out”.  This might all be a test.  How much can I really relax and “let go”?  Am I really able to “unwind” and just wait for things to work themselves out?  NO SÉ? 

Now before you start feeling too sorry for me let me tell you that the weather is better than predicted (70% chance of rain), the food is wonderful (shrimp tacos), the hotel is fabulous (pool bar) and the beach is just outside my door.  But still I want to get my work done and get home – WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME? Most people would kill to be “stuck” in a place like this but I just want to go home.  I’m told my granddaughter Anna prayed for “Pawpaw in Mexico” last night and that she misses me – “I miss you too, Anna!”  Plus I feel guilty – guilty for not working, guilty for enjoying the beach and the pool without Deb, guilty for spending company pesos on food and (maybe alcohol) while no real work is happening.  And guilty for being looked upon as an IMPORTANT AMERICAN BUSINESSMAN by these nice Mexican folks that have been waiting on me ‘hand and foot’ and are just are trying to eke out a decent living wage. 

In the meantime, I guess  I’ll go back to the beach or pool and try to tip as generously as possible to ease some of my guilt.  Also it seems that the occasional Corona seems to ease my conscience as well.  “Uno cerveza por favor”!  My high school Spanish teacher, Sister Madeline, would be so proud!

Paz,

Denis

Jerks and Killers

/ Denis Wilhelm / 2 Comments

Years ago my wife told me that all people were either basically good or basically bad.  In her explanation she gave the following examples:  Good = saints and various kind people.  Bad = jerks and killers.  It’s an understatement to say that those are pretty broad categories.  My kids and I have laughed at this pronouncement ever since but I’ve been married to Deborah for over 35 years now and I understand that to her it makes perfect sense.  I suppose that if humans and pigs share 99% of the same DNA then it’s not unreasonable to believe that saints and kind people and jerks and killers belong in the same behavioral categories.  I just hope Deb includes me in the “good” category.

Today I would like to focus on the jerks and killers. 

Lately at work someone has been brewing very weak coffee.  We have a ‘state of the art’ brewing system that a trained chimp could operate and yet EVERY morning I pour a cup of weak-ass coffee because some jerk can’t follow the simple instructions.  Hey stupid – you might as well drink hot water!  I’ve yet to discover who the jerk that can’t make coffee is.  But I have my suspicions.

There is a traffic merge near my office where EVERY night some jerks feel the need to stop.  YOU DON’T NEED TO STOP – IT’S A MERGE!  All these jerks are doing is holding up traffic. This is a daily annoyance.  For the love of God – read the sign.  Keep the traffic moving!  Of course my honking and yelling never seems to positively influence the offenders. 

My next door neighbor’s lawn looks like a cross between a mole farm and a prairie grass preserve.  Hey hillbilly – if you don’t want to take care of your lawn then don’t have one!  Move to an apartment or condo development where they take care of that sort of thing for you.  Look around jerk neighbor – you’re the only one whose lawn looks like a toxic waste dump. 

At the gym I attend there are several jerks but the one that is most offensive is the crazy guy that jumps from machine to machine and then becomes noticeably irritated, muttering curse words under his breath, when someone else decides to use the equipment that he had planned on “jumping to” next.  This guy might be slightly unstable (his appearance would tend to make you think so) but regardless he’s a jerk supreme. 

So when do jerks cross the line and become killers?  Do all jerks have the capacity for murder?  And should I be concerned about the jerk at the gym “snapping” and killing me for using a piece of equipment that he planned on using next?

If the shirt fits - wear it!

Unfortunately Debbie doesn’t have any answers for those questions.  So rather than worry about being killed by some jerk.  I’ve decided to work hard on not becoming a jerk myself and eventually a killer.  I suppose the whole jerk/killer thing could be a slippery slope. 

And now I’m wondering if I am considered a jerk by others?  Someone might be writing about me at this precise moment. 

I’m the jerk that bitches about the coffee EVERY morning.  I’m the jerk that honks at drivers EVERY night.  I’m the jerk that gives my neighbor the ‘cold shoulder’ because of his inferior lawn care ability.  And I’m the jerk at the gym that jumps on a piece of equipment right before someone else was planning on using it.    

Oh no!  I may not be a good person after all.  Don’t tell Debbie.  But please help me before I kill someone!  Your prayers will be appreciated.

Peace,

Denis

Bill, Silent Guy, and Dumb-Dumb

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Last week I was at a Macy’s Store in Milwaukee for a Designer Accessories Shop installation.  That’s what I do or I should say that’s what the company that I work for does.  We manufacture and install custom retail store fixtures.  As the V.P. of Operations I have project managers that are working all over the country (and sometimes internationally) setting up new stores or handling remodels.  Often our customers’ shops are inside a department store – we call those ‘shop in shops’ (don’t blame me – I didn’t make up that name).  Occasionally when my project management teams are spread too thin I will go to installations to meet with a customer rep or just to make certain everything is completed correctly. 

That’s what I was doing this past week.  I usually don’t announce to the installation crew that I’m a V.P. because it tends to make people nervous.  I’m just Denis.  Last week the crew that was at the Macy’s store was ‘contracted out’ – meaning that are not employees but instead they are hired for a specific location.  We may or may not ever work together again. 

I was told by the Installation Company that Mike would be the supervisor of the crew.  When I arrived and asked for Mike I was greeted by Bill who explained that Mike was not there.  Bill seemed okay so I wasn’t too concerned.  His ‘crew’ consisted of two others that I nicknamed ‘Silent Guy’ and ‘Dumb-Dumb’.  Let me explain:  First of all, I know that it’s not nice to call people names but for the record I only called them names in my head (or behind their backs – I have manners).  Secondly, ‘Silent Guy’ never spoke – he only sort of grunted.  And thirdly, well – we’ll get to ‘Dumb-Dumb’ later.

Initially things went well.  Our truck was on time.  The dock was available.  The store personnel were friendly and cooperative.  But as the morning progressed it became painfully obvious that Bill and his crew were  S   L   O   W !  I couldn’t have lit a fire under their asses with a blowtorch.  And time was slipping away!  Plus I discovered Dumb-Dumb down in the stockroom arguing with the ‘Trash Lady’ about why he should have to “breakdown” cardboard boxes!  Really Dumb-Dumb, you’re going to argue with the 80 year old lady who is kind enough to help you?  Taking care of your trash is not her job!  The store was scheduled to open at 10:00AM and after 2-1/2 hours of slowly dragging stuff to the sales floor, unpacking fixtures and wiping things down “at a snail’s pace” I finally (kind of) lost my cool.  We had 30 minutes to clear the aisles, remove all the debris, and make the space ready for the store opening.  Concerned that the store managers as well as my customer contact would “flip out” because everything was in complete disarray – I yelled at Bill and crew.  I told them to stop what they were doing (whatever that was) and to get EVERYTHING cleaned up, cleared out, and ready for merchandise.  Bill explained that they didn’t usually do things that way and I responded that “today is a new day – we’re doing it MY WAY”.  I went into full V.P. mode!

Within a few minutes the space was much more to my liking.  Lots of clearing, cleaning and straightening was happening.  The merchandise specialist arrived and began arranging handbags.  While Bill and his ‘crew’ were still sulking, I was strutting around quite pleased with my command of the situation.  Then it happened…

The Operations Manager for Macy’s came by to ask if everything would be ready to go by 10:00AM.  I was certain I was ready for a verbal “beat down” because of my installation crew’s lack of efficiency and orderliness.  Instead her reply was:  SUPER-DEE-DUPER!  And then she proceeded to tell me how much she enjoyed working with Bill and “The Boys” – what great guys they were; how they made each install easy because they were so relaxed in their approach. That it was ALWAYS a stress-free experience for all involved.  That all the store personnel LOVED working with them, etc. etc.  And that I was really smart to have hired them because she wouldn’t want anyone else working in her store.  I sheepishly thanked her knowing full well that Bill and his ‘crew’ heard every word she had said.

In my uptight and reactionary way, I had forgotten where I was.  This was Wisconsin not New York.  Not L.A.  These folks at this Macy’s loved ‘shooting the breeze’ with the installers.  They were more interested in knowing about the fish that Bill had caught at his cabin up north than whether or not everything was perfect in the shop at 10:00AM.  The Packers upcoming football season took precedence over the placement of fixtures.  In Wisconsin Aaron Rodgers is way more important than Michael Kors.

I had forgotten the most important rule of customer service – Don’t treat people the way you want to be treated – Treat them the way they want to be treated.  Bill and his ‘crew’ remembered that.

So who’s the Dumb-Dumb now? 

Peace,

Denis