Love

Here Comes The Bride

/ Denis Wilhelm / 3 Comments

Caprice and Jimmy

My niece Caprice is getting married in about 3 weeks.  It seems like only yesterday that she was my little “Pee Wee” perched on my lap.  But now she’s all grown up and ready to be a wife.  She’s had a wedding shower and a bachelorette party and all the preparations have been made – the church, the music, the reception, etc.  She and her fiance Jimmy are ready. 

Ready for the wedding day.  But are they ready for marriage?  Who knows?  Are any of us ever really ready?  I know that they are “IN LOVE” and I know that they have met with their minister and that she has “prepared them”.  But how much can you really “prepare” for marriage? 

I remember a 150 years ago when Deb and I got married and we met with Father Gary Goldaker at Trinity Episcopal Church and he asked us lots of questions and we gave him lots of answers.  And after no more than two meetings he then pronounced us “READY FOR MARRIAGE”.  Thank God we had all the answers back then because it has made married life so easy!  Of course a few years later we heard that Father Gary left the priesthood and was selling aluminum siding – so I guess our marriage has probably out-lasted some of that siding he sold (that stuff only has about a 25 year guarantee). 

Caprice and Jimmy are older and (smarter?) than we were in 1975.  And they have made good decisions up to this point so I’m guessing that they will have a marriage based on love and respect and equality.  I also know that they have a family that will always love and support and even “carry them” when necessary.  And if I could remember any of those answers from Gary Goldaker I would pass those on, too.

But now we’re all focused on THE WEDDING DAY.  THE BRIDE AND THE GROOM.  And that’s how it should be.  Serious marriage stuff has been dealt with already and their life together will continue to be an ongoing journey of faith and discovery.  Caprice and Jimmy have the rest of their lives to build their marriage.

So right now we’re looking forward to the Wedding Day and the party that is planned.  I’m always reminded that Jesus’ first public miracle was The Wedding Feast at Cana.  Even Jesus liked a good wedding reception.  So we’re going to celebrate on November 6th.  When Caprice comes down the aisle there will be smiles and tears (Deb cries at Hallmark® commercials) and once again I will have my faith in marriage renewed.  And later at the reception I’ll dance like nobody is watching because I’ll bet Jesus did that after ‘The Wine Thing’. 

Here comes the bride.  Everybody please rise!

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, it is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.   It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Peace,

Denis

Happy Birthday Deborah!

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Today is my wife’s birthday – I won’t tell her age.  Let’s just say that we’ve spent a few birthdays together in the last 35 years.  Birthdays sort of lose their excitement after too many years.  Birthdays are lots of fun when you’re a kid – balloons and cupcakes!  And then when you’re REALLY OLD and Willard Scott announces your name on T.V. they get exciting again – can you believe he or she is still alive?  Deb and I are in-between the excitement.  But that doesn’t mean we won’t celebrate in our own way.

Daughter and son-in-law have suggested dinner and cake but Deb’s a little ‘under the weather’ today so that may have to wait.  Of course my gift to her won’t arrive until tomorrow – damn you UPS!  So this birthday is going to register near the bottom of the GREATEST BIRTHDAYS EVER list.  But still we will celebrate.

We’ll celebrate another year together.  Another year of life.  And look back on all the great times we’ve had and look forward to all the great times ahead.  We have lots to celebrate – next weekend my best friend’s son is getting married; in 4 weeks my nephew is getting married; in 6 weeks our third grandchild is due; and in 3 months my niece is getting married.  And in November our son Tyson will have 30 days of leave and will be home!

So even though today is not going to be “Birthday-palooza”, Debbie will have some cheer.  Hopefully her aches and pain will give way to a moment or two of joy, even if the real celebration has to wait until a better day.

Happy Birthday Deb!  I hope that I’m still somewhere in one of your wishes when you blow out the candles.

Love,

Denis

Cousins

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

Our granddaughters are cousins –  five year old Charlise is our son’s daughter and two year old Anna is our daughter’s daughter.  These two really love one another and they love being together.  It’s pure joy to watch how they talk and play and care for each other.  They live about an hour apart now and we try to have them spend time together as often as possible.

I love to eaves-drop on their conversations when they’re playing. They play a lot of “pretend” and Anna usually follows Charlise’s lead but sometimes Anna decides to do things her way and Charlise usually obliges. Depending on what the “pretend” game is the conversations vary but generally it’s some variation on Disney Princesses or Dora the Explorer.  Most often Charlise is Dora and Anna is Boots, Dora’s faithful monkey friend.  Pretty fitting actually – Anna climbs on everything and Charlise likes to wear a backpack.

Yesterday they were playing together in the ‘blow-up’ pool on our patio.  Charlise has been taking swimming lessons and was showing us how she can hold her breath and swim underwater.  Of course whatever Charlise does, Anna MUST do as well.  When Anna put her head underwater she took a big gulp and came up coughing and frightened.  She started to cry and immediately Charlise held her in her arms gently and sang very softly “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star…”  The two of them held onto each other until the song was over.  And then Anna let out a little ‘fake cry’ and the process started all over again – both of them embraced, Charlise singing and Anna being comforted.  How I wished I would have had a video camera – talk about your Hallmark® commercial moment”! 

But unlike Hallmark® commercials this moment was completely unscripted.  And it wasn’t done for attention or approval.  It was just one sweet girl cousin comforting her baby girl cousin because she loves her and because she cares.  And I was blessed for having witnessed this.  These girls will grow up and may grow apart (but please God don’t let that happen!) and they probably will choose different paths.  Like many cousins they may have very different lives some day.  But for this one brief moment they connected in a way that was so profound it brought me to tears.  And I thanked God at that instant for granddaughters that love one another.  And I thanked God for parents that have taught their daughters so well.  I can’t help but wonder how many times Charlise has been comforted with “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star…”  And how good it must have felt in her little heart to share that gift with “Baby Anna”.

Dear God, thank you for our beautiful granddaughters.  It’s true that You give us more than we deserve!

Peace,

Denis

Lil’ Orange

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Today Lil’ Orange died.  Lil’ Orange was our granddaughter Anna’s pet goldfish.  Anna is two years old, so Lil’ Orange’s death came as a complete surprise to her.  I’m told she was sobbing and crying out for her ‘baby fish’.  It is heartbreaking and I wanted to rush to her side!  I’m certain that a replacement later today will ease her pain.  Until then Goldie, the surviving goldfish, will have the bowl to herself.  FYI – all goldfish are girls according to Anna. 

Anna with Pawpaw

The death of Lil’ Orange has upset me, too.  Anna now has to confront death.  She has to learn that nothing or no one lasts forever.  And she may or may not find solace in the idea of “fish heaven”.  A tiny piece of her innocence is gone forever…

This is one of those “teachable moments” that some parents hope for and all parents must face.  The first loss most children experience is the death of a pet. Of course, now Anna is very focused on this event – what does it mean that Lil’ Orange died?  This is a great opportunity for Mommy and Daddy to teach her about death and new life.  Her sadness will be temporary but the knowledge and understanding that she gains should last her lifetime.

No parent (or grandparent) wants to see a two year old grieve but hopefully with tenderness and patience, Anna will come to accept Lil’ Orange’s passing as part of God’s greater plan.  She will find comfort in knowing that Mommy and Daddy care about her loss.  She will be consoled by their concern toward her and her pet.  And she will understand that sometimes bad things happen, but love always remains.

I still want to rush to her side, hug her and kiss away her tears.  I’d like to lie to her and tell her that Lil’ Orange was just taking a nap and will be back soon.  But I know that my daughter and son-in-law are smarter than that.  They will use this “teachable moment” to educate Anna and instill in her compassion and love – the same compassion and love that they will show her during this agonizing time.  Now, I need a hug…

Lil’ Orange R.I.P.

Peace,

Denis