life

Boy In A Hurry

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

Today is our grandson’s 6th birthday. Noah is always in a hurry! Whether he’s running through the backyard or cruising on his bicycle, or racing across the swimming pool or sliding into home, he is always “full speed ahead”!noah-me

That was even true on the day that he was born. It seems like it was yesterday that our daughter Bess was at her last prenatal appointment. While waiting to see the doctor she was pretty sure she had gone into labor. They examined her and sent her straight to the hospital at about 3:45 pm. Two hours later a nurse looked in on Bess and said she would be back in 30 minutes to check her progress. When the nurse returned to check, she lifted the sheet and said “And…we’re…having a baby!”

Just that quickly, Noah was born at 7:06 pm, September 20, 2010. He’s been in a hurry from the start.

I thank God for giving us a healthy boy who can run and run and run. I’m grateful that “he’s the fastest__________________________” (fill in the blank). He’s a dynamo who seems to move a little faster everyday. But some days I wish he would slow down. Sometimes I just need him to “put on the brakes”. I want him to climb on my lap. I want to hold him in my arms and kiss his sweet face. I want him to be “little” for just a little while longer. There are days when I feel desperate for Baby Noah. I want to tell him to please not be in such a hurry to grow up. To savor this time. To be patient. To hold on.

But today is not about me. Noah’s life is his own. He’s six today! And he’s in a hurry to run marathons and climb mountains and conquer this world and create beautiful moments and memories along the way.

I realize of course that I don’t need Noah to slow down as much as I need to catch up. And God willing, when I’m too old to run alongside him, I hope that I’ll still be able to cheer from the sidelines as he hurries past.

Happy Birthday Noah!

I love you,

(Pawpaw)

Denis

 

Kindergarten

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

This month our grandson Noah will begin kindergarten.

To me he seems wise beyond his years. He believes in God and prays often, albeit sometimes in a slightly selfish 5 year-old way (as do many adults that I know). He deeply cares about others, especially his big sister and his mommy and daddy. Noah’s interests are varied. He loves the outdoors. He plays baseball and soccer. He likes to swim. He likes to climb, jump and run. He also loves playing with Legos and Play-Doh, watching movies, playing board games. He has a very active imagination. He likes books but more than that, he loves hearing stories, especially if I tell him stories about when I was a boy (sometimes they’re even true). Noah loves music and loves to dance. And he laughs – huge belly laughs. He is fun and funny. We call him “Life’s-a-Party-Noah” for good reason. He is physically demonstrative and will gladly throw his arms around this old man and give me a huge kiss on the cheek. It doesn’t matter who may be watching. He loves me. And of course I love him!

Noah Kindergarten

Noah modeling his new school uniform

And so he begins a new chapter in his young life – Formal Education. From this day forward everything will be on his PERMANENT RECORD. I know that Noah will approach school with he same tenacity and aplomb that he tackles everything else. He’s a good team player and is easily coached so I suspect that the order and discipline required in school won’t be too challenging for him. Plus he loves to learn new things. And he’s kind. So he will be good to his classmates and teachers. And there can never be too much kindness in our world. Noah will surely do well with school.

But here’s the thing: Will school do well with Noah? Will his enthusiasm and joyful spirit be enhanced or stifled? Will his teachers expose him to new experiences and new ideas that fill his heart and stretch his mind or will he become bored and restless because of conformity and rote learning? Of most concern to this grandfather is whether or not his spirit will be allowed to soar. Noah has so much to offer and I’m convinced that he will change our world. He’s already changed mine.

I want the universe to open up for him in ways he can’t yet imagine. I want his achievements to be as boundless as his dreams. I want him to travel the world; read and study and explore; make a difference; discover his best self; love and be loved beyond measure. And I hope that someday he is blessed with a boy of his own who will fill his life with light and love.

I suppose that this is a lot to place on the small shoulders of a kindergartener. But hey, it’s Noah!

And I can always tell him a story about when I was in kindergarten…

Peace,

Denis

P.S. Noah, Always stay humble and kind…

Birthday Wishes

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

Today is my birthday. I was greeted by my lovely wife Debbie this morning with a sleepy “Happy Birthday” and her sweet smile, which I cherish all the more because I know that mornings are not typically a happy time for her. Two of my grandkids called on their way to school with their cheery little voices bringing sunshine on this foggy morning. Of course my daughter, my mom, my sister and brother have all called which makes me feel loved as well. Folks at work have been wishing me a “Happy Birthday” which may be more likely because I’m the boss but I’d like to think that a few of the wishes are sincere. Many more emails and Facebook posts add to the feeling of being cared about on this day. Birthday wishes are affirming. They cost nothing to give (expect the Hallmark variety) and they are worth so much to the receiver. I feel especially blessed today. And tonight when I blow out the candles on my cake, it will be my turn to “make a wish”. The only problem is that I have more than one wish. Perhaps the more candles that you have, the more wishes you should be allowed – I hope so anyway.birthday-109a

Here are my wishes:

I wish that I was fluent in Spanish because my Mexican friends speak such beautiful English (and I would like to return the favor).

I wish I had the energy to play all the games that my grandson wants to play.

I wish that my beautiful granddaughters will always keep a little of the innocence that they now possess.

I wish that I would have gotten some of that wisdom that’s supposed to come with age.

I wish that bacon, cheeseburgers, pizza and M&M McFlurries were all calorie free.

I wish that laughter would be a part of every day for the rest of my life.

I wish that I could give more, take less, and always be grateful for what I have.

I wish that all people would be treated with dignity, respect and kindness.

I wish that love would triumph over hatred in our hearts, in our homes, and in our world.

I wish that I might live just one day longer than Debbie (so that she’s never alone and that I’m not alone too long).

Happy Birthday to me!

Peace,

Denis

 

 

 

Alleluias and Easter Bunnies

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Throw open the shutters. Spring has arrived! Daffodils and tulips and the dogwood are blooming. Birds are singing. New life is in abundance!

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, the day in which Christians celebrate Christ’s rising from the dead. As believers, our salvation is ‘a done deal’ if we choose the gift of His redemption. So churches will be filled to capacity.

Easter 1958aWe need the joy of Easter. It is a welcome balm that can ease the pain in our world. I for one love the carnival atmosphere of Easter Sunday services. Kids dressed in itchy new Easter clothes barely able to sit still because of all the candy that they have consumed before breakfast; beleaguered parents who rose before dawn to hide eggs and prepare baskets full of the aforementioned candy for the little darlings; folks who have not been to church in a while looking conspicuously out-of-place; ‘the regular-attenders’ barely able to conceal their annoyance of having to share their pew. We squeeze in and make room for all. And we love and forgive and ask for forgiveness for the times that we have failed to love. The Alleluias return!

Baked ham, lamb with mint jelly, hot cross buns, deviled eggs and asparagus will adorn our dining tables. Desserts will be rich and plentiful. And don’t forget the candy, surreptitiously snatched from the kiddies Easter baskets while they’re being distracted by yet another treat left behind by the Easter Bunny. Welcome home Springtime!

Some Christians are bothered by all the focus on the Easter Bunny, feeling that it diminishes the sanctity of Easter. After all what does a bunny that hides eggs and gives candy have to do with our Risen Savior? I’m not sure. But what difference does it make? Easter supplanted pre-Christian spring festivals and it doesn’t make it any less sacred to me.

So I’ll welcome the Easter Bunny to hop into my back garden again this year and hide his (her) eggs and leave behind some treats. I’ll smell the sweet aroma of new flowers and tree blossoms. I’ll love and forgive and ask for forgiveness. I’ll eat some ham and sing my Alleluias. And be thankful for it all.

Peace,

Denis

 “Why do you seek the living one among the dead?” Luke 24:5

 

The More Things Change – The More They Stay The Same

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

I’ve always been a little envious of the completely ‘Free Spirits’; those folks who just throw caution to the wind and take off on yet-another-adventure. They rarely seem to plan much more than what to wear or what to eat (and usually that appears unplanned, too). At the opposite end of the spectrum are the ‘Judicious’; those folks who are overly cautious, sometimes paralyzed by indecision or fear of the unknown; needing assurance and insurance at every turn.

I’d like to think I’m somewhere in between Free Spiritedness and Judiciousness. You know, ready to jump on that plane or train or boat or bus but packing carefully and making sure the door is locked and the lights are turned off on my way out the door. I’m probably 60% Free Spirit and 40% Judicious – my lovely wife Debbie is probably 40% Free Spirit and 60% Judicious. She’s more of planner and I’m more of a doer. (Come to think of it, she plans a lot of the stuff that I do). We make a good team. We have a plan. We are on the right course.

change-aheadAnd then comes change. Change creeps in and well, changes everything. How many times in my life have I had to adjust to change? Another baby. A lost job. A new home. The death of a loved one. A promotion. An illness. An accident. A marriage. A new grandchild.

Some change is good. Some is bad. Some is scary. Some is delightful. But somewhere amidst all the change remains a constant. It’s love.

Jobs are lost. Marriages end. Accidents happen. People get sick. Loved ones are mourned. We say goodbye to friends. But love stays.

New homes are found. Different careers are begun. Babies are born. Unique places are discovered. Strange new skills are learned. Unusual experiences are shared. And love stays.

I often think about the young girl I met 43 years ago who changed my life. We couldn’t afford to be free spirits or planners back then (we just muddled through) but God had plan for us. She was this short sweet little Baptist girl who had attended public schools and I was this tall skinny smart-ass who had gone to Catholic schools. Debbie was very popular in high school. Everyone was her friend and everyone thought that she was too nice for me (even me). I was not popular in high school. I was sort of a doofus. We were an unlikely match but we somehow fell in love.

And then I changed and became a man worthy of her love.

I know that life will constantly test my free spiritedness and my judiciousness. And nothing will ever be the same. Not even me. And the more things change the more our love will remain the same.

Peace,

Denis

P.S. The video attached is one that our daughter created over 6 years ago and a lot has changed since then (except the love).

 

 

An Attitude of Gratitude

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

Sometimes it’s hard for me to be thankful.

I get caught up in all the tragedies of our world: the horror of violence, starvation, war, terrorism, hatred, disease and poverty. I often feel that my prayers for friends who are suffering seem shallow and rote. My futile attempts to ask for God’s mercy seem woefully inadequate in the face of such immense pain and suffering. And I feel numb and helpless. So much sadness; so much heartache; overwhelming misery. At times it really feels as if there is nothing for which to be thankful.thanks

Then I open my eyes! And my mind! And my heart! And I realize that have been given so much – my family, my friends. My beautiful wife of 40 years reminds me daily that we should ALL have an attitude of gratitude. All the sadness in this world is somehow manageable when I hold her in my arms. I become thankful once again for my job, our home, our food, but mostly for the love of one another. All the heartache is bearable when I hear my sons’ voices or hold my daughter’s hand. All my tears are washed away by the smiles, kisses and hugs of my grandchildren. All the hurt and disappointment in my life is diminished by the love of friends and family.

So yes, I’m thankful for those whom I love and those who love me. I’m thankful for those folks I’ve meet along this crazy journey of life. May we always carry one another’s burdens, share each others joys, wipe each others tears, and celebrate one another’s triumphs. We live in an imperfect world but we are perfected by love that we share. Awful things will always happen but those things shouldn’t define who we are. How we find our joy each day should be the measure of our worth.

I, for one, will continue to try to have an attitude of gratitude. My wish today is that you have a blessed and joyful Thanksgiving.

Peace,

Denis

 

Dias de Muertos

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In the U.S. on October 31st we celebrate Halloween as a time for children (and some adults) to go door to door begging for candy. With a cheery “Trick or Treat” the little beggars wait with their bags and buckets outstretched to receive their treat. Most households oblige. Some communities have moved “Halloween” to the Sunday afternoon before October 31st to avoid a dark night. Others have opted for “Trunk or Treat” which corrals families in a safe place such as a school or church parking lot. All of these activities are fun and none of them have much to do with the origin of Halloween or more accurately “All Hallows Eve”. All Hallows’ Eve is the day before the very important feast of All Saints Day in Western Christian traditions.

Trick or TreatIn early Christian tradition the night before All Saints was a time to honor the saints that have passed before us and folks often dressed as their patron saints and visited neighbors. I suppose this may have been the beginnings of today’s modern celebration of Halloween. How we went from honoring our dearly departed, and the saints to slogging around as zombies, vampires, witches, princesses, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and all other manner of characters, I have no idea. Still I think Halloween is harmless fun and most people handle it responsibly. Kids running around the neighborhood asking for candy is hardly a sign of a predilection to the occult. Some people seem to think that allowing children to “Trick or Treat” is tempting the devil. I say relax – no little girl or boy dressed as princess or a ninja is sacrificing animals at an altar. No one has traded their soul for a Snickers bar.

I admire the tradition of my friends in Mexico. They celebrate November 1st and 2nd as “Dias de Muertos” or days of the dead. It’s a time to remember and honor those saints in our own lives. Families gather in cemeteries and bring the favorite foods of their loved ones. Sometimes the food, flowers, and small gifts are left at the grave and at other times the friends and families will share the meal of favorite foods in honor the deceased.

I love the idea that someday when I’m gone from this world my children and grandchildren might gather at my grave and share a favorite food or drink, tell a joke, sing a favorite song and pray for my soul. Maybe it’s as superstitious and as silly as our modern Halloween traditions but I find comfort in knowing that I would not be forgotten. And if they leave some candy, I hope it’s chocolate.

Peace,

Denis

Autumnal

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

It seems as if EVERYONE loves Autumn. Oh the beautiful colors of the leaves! Oh the crisp, clean air! Oh the pumpkin pies and apple cider! Oh the magic of it all!

But I’m not a fan of Autumn or as I prefer to call it “the beginning of the end”. Goodbye warm sunny days. Goodbye green grass and hummingbirds. Goodbye swimming pools, patio dining, lush gardens and summer nights. Goodbye baseball, flip-flops, lazy days and Corona®  (it’s just not the same when it’s not Summer).

To me Autumn represents that slow, painful march into the dark days of Winter. Cold. Bleak. Sad. Winter. You can call me a curmudgeon but Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes® and hay-rides aren’t really my thing. I’m a Summer-lover. And I’m sad that it’s over. And I’m even sadder that Winter is on its way. Oh you can be fooled for a while into thinking that these easy Fall days with sunshine and moderate temperatures will last but you’d be wrong. Just lurking around the corner is the dreaded freezing cold of Winter. The Ice. The Snow. The Darkness.

Be warned: Soon Autumn will only be a memory and you will be trudging through the dreary desolation of Winter.

Perhaps my displeasure of Autumn (and what it brings) is the reality that I am in the Autumn of my life. After all, the Springtime of my youth is a long-ago memory. I’m 60 now and squarely living in my Autumn and that’s assuming I will be around to see my Winter. Maybe that’s what scares me or makes me uncomfortable – getting older. Realizing that time waits for no one. And my Winter? Well that’s more than I care to think about right now. Is old age the impending doom? Are the twilight years an endless reminder that soon it will all be over? Surely not. My Dad will be 90 in the Spring and he’s still going strong.

Ah, the Spring! That’s it! Springtime – life renews again! Dad will be 90 next Spring! And so life goes on.

Yes I suppose Autumn is a beautiful season and I will try to embrace it. Even if it reminds me that the end is near. And even if it represents the dying and passing away of my Summer. But that needn’t be a bad thing. I should just bundle up and stay warm. Maybe I’ll even enjoy a pumpkin latte. Because when this life ends (and it will, no matter how hard I fight it) I know that there will be a rebirth in heaven.

And my Summer will come again…

Peace,

Denis

I Must Have Done Something Good

/ Denis Wilhelm / 4 Comments

There’s a song from the musical The Sound of Music with the line “somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good”. To be honest, I sometimes feel that way. I have received so much in this life that I don’t deserve; that I didn’t earn; that should have been given to someone more worthy. Loving children. Perfect grandchildren. Family and friends that have carried me along on my journey. A comfortable home. A career that I’m proud of. But mostly my beautiful wife.

Deb, “here I am standing here loving you, whether or not I should…”

My wife, my love, my life. We have defied all odds: married too young; too poor; under-educated; having children when we were barely adults ourselves; career disasters; job changes; money troubles; moving out of state and out the country and back again. And yet, here we are still together. Forever.

Your birthday seems like a perfect time to tell you what you mean to me. When I try to put it in to words it all seems too simple; too ordinary. I love you. The end. But it’s so much more that.

BirthdayNo one gets to me the way you do. No one can make me feel as passionate as you. No one can push me to the edge and then pull me back quite like you. No one lights up a room like you. No one can make me laugh at myself harder than you can. You have shared my happiest days and my moments of utter despair. You have held my hand as I have walked through good times and bad. You keep me grounded and you give me wings. I have witnessed your exquisite beauty, your kindness, your gentleness and your strength countless times and I am still in awe.

And you still do that thing to me that no one else can do: You make me want to be a better man. Thank you for loving me all these years.

I must have done something good…

Happy Birthday,

Denis

The He-Man Hideout

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

I consider myself a feminist. My wife has always been my partner – my equal in all things. I raised my daughter to believe that she could achieve anything that she desired. I have supported women’s rights (equal pay/equal opportunity) in the workplace. I stand firmly against any and all discrimination against women.

And yet I love that my grandson and I enjoy the fun that we can only have because we’re boys.

Noah is big on gender identification. I’m not sure if this is learned or just in his nature. Example: he thinks boys or men should always have the blue clothes/cup/plate/bowl/crayon/toy while girls or women should have the pink whatever. He likes to group men and women separately: “The boys should sit on this side and the girls should sit on that side”. He is very happy when he and Daddy do “just boy things” together.

He loves his mommy and his sister and his Nana and his girl cousins but sometimes a boy just needs to be a boy. Whether that means playing in the dirt or climbing a tree (which girls can do with equal ability – just don’t tell Noah) or pretending to be a super-hero, a pilot, a carpenter or a policeman (again, all things girls can do, too). He just likes being a boy and likes to distinguish himself from the girls in his 4 year-old world.

bubby and meHe and I have a “He-Man Hideout” in my backyard. It’s really just a garden bench but it becomes an airplane cockpit or a super-hero mission control station or simply a hiding place where no girls are allowed (expect his sister who has been granted exclusivity). I’ll admit I cherish our time together on that bench, listening to his imaginative exhortations. He is the MAN IN CHARGE. At least in the He-Man Hideout.

I’m not too concerned that his adult years may be consumed by cigar bars or strip clubs or fraternities or any other all-male enclave. Good parenting and common sense will curb that unlikely possibility. I’m certain that he will grow up to be the thoughtful, loving and respectful man that his father is. He will love women for their strength, intelligence, kindness, and generosity, as well as their beauty (just look at the examples he has in his family).

Still there is something wonderful about being a boy in a boy’s world and I am thankful that he’s let me in on occasion.

Peace,

Denis