Kids

All I Want For Christmas…

/ Denis Wilhelm / 2 Comments
On Christmas Eve 1985 our daughter Bess was 5 years old.  Everything was ready for Christmas – cookies baked, meals planned, tree trimmed, gifts wrapped (or hidden until Santa could deliver them).  We were having breakfast, we five: Deb, Tyson 7, Bess 5, Blake 2, and me.  At 7:00 am it was just a nice quiet, peaceful morning before the onslaught of Christmas-palooza (when you have 3 kids aged seven and younger Christmas Eve gets a little bit crazy – the anticipation, the sugar, the last-minute details). So a calm quiet breakfast was just what our little family needed.  We could ease into the day.  Or so I thought. Then Bess (with her sweet little sleepy-voice) said, “I don’t care if Santa doesn’t bring me anything else, as long as I get REAL BABY® WITH HER EYES OPEN”

With that announcement everything changed!  WHAT???  When did she tell us about ‘Real Baby’?  How did we miss that?  Of course I knew then what I had to do. Every daddy knows that you MUST FIND ‘Real Baby’ or destroy your little girl’s Christmas dreams. And so the search began…

Hasbro® REAL BABY WITH HER EYES OPEN

I know this sounds like a sitcom and maybe it could have been but it really happened and it wasn’t funny then. The morning of December 24, 1985 became panic-filled.  I jumped into my 1977 Ford Pinto and away I went. This was before the days of cell phones, so I took a handful of change to call home from pay phones (remember those?). I started out looking in the stores nearby – Venture (remember those?), Target, Sears, and then I fanned out to – more Venture Stores, more Targets, Toys-R-Us, Wal-Mart, Famous-Barr (another blast from the past), JC Penney, Woolworth’s – you name it; I tried it.  I could find ‘Real Baby With Her Eyes Closed’ (which kind of looked like a scary dead baby) but EVERYONE was sold out of ‘Real Baby With Her Eyes Open’. After each failed attempt to find ‘Real Baby’ I called home with the grim news – no baby. What was I going to do? How was I going to deal with disappointing my little girl on Christmas morning?

After spending nearly the entire day searching for a doll that I was certain could not be found, I finally admitted defeat.  I was heading home around 4:00 pm when I decided to give it one last try.  There was (and still is) a K-Mart Store west of where we lived and I thought “what the heck” it’s worth one more try. Still in my heart I knew it was foolish.

But when I walked into the Toy Department there she was – perched on the shelf like an angel. I really thought that the fatigue had gotten to me and that I was just ‘seeing things’ but there she was, all by herself, ‘Real Baby With Her Eyes Open’!  Only God knows why the most popular doll of 1985 would still be sitting on K-Mart’s shelf on Christmas Eve.  Maybe it was just my own little Christmas miracle.  I know I had tears in my eyes walking to the checkout counter – again maybe that was just the fatigue.

Needless to say, Bess was very excited the next morning and she LOVED ‘Real Baby’ and she said, “I knew that Santa would bring her to me!”  More tears…

That doll is still in a box in our basement today.  Her hair is a little ‘jacked-up’ because she was loved so much.  Bess carried her around like a real baby for years (hence the name) and I never regretted or will I forget the crazy Christmas Eve that made it all possible.

I hope each of is blessed with your own Christmas miracle this year.

Peace,

Denis

 
 

Could you say no to this face?

P.S. This year Bess’s daughter Anna announced that she wanted Santa to bring her a dollhouse that we had seen about a month ago – no mention had been made of it until just last week. But not to worry – Pawpaw has located one (the last one again) and all is well. I guess the apple doesn’t fall very fall from the tree ~ God, thank you for my ‘apple’ and my ‘tree’. I am twice blessed!

Have Yourself A Messy Little Christmas

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

I’ve always wanted a perfect Christmas – whatever that is. Mostly I’d be happy if the tree stood straight and if no one was sad, mad or bad. For years when asked what I’d like for Christmas my response was always the same: Clean house and good kids. Talk about your unanswered prayers!

But you know in the movie ‘White Christmas’ when it starts snowing right on cue and the walls of the barn (that has been converted into a stage) just magically open. Or like in ‘The Miracle on 34th Street’ when Natalie Wood finds the perfect house that just happens to be “for sale” and open on Christmas Day. Or when Father comes home just before Christmas in ‘Little Women’ and Marmee’s eyes fill with tears (by the way, the one with Katherine Hepburn and Spring Byington is the one to watch). I’ve always secretly wanted one of those Hollywood Christmases. One of those Christmases where EVERYONE cries and then laughs and realizes WHAT’S REALLY IMPORTANT.   

Homemade "gourd" snowmen ~ eat your heart out, Martha Stewart!

But we’ve never had any of those “cue the music” Christmas moments at our house.  Usually they’re more of the “Christmas Story” variety – cursing the neighbors’ dogs!  And too often Christmas or Christmas Eve is a little boring – same people, same gifts, same stuff. Oh the food is great and we love our family and we do try to center Christ in Christmas but sometimes it all seems a little too rote. Been there; done that.

Looking back it seems to me that our best Christmases have been the messy, unpredictable ones. And we’ve had some doozies. Like when Blake was about 3 years old and puked at my brother’s house on Christmas Eve or when Bess woke up with bronchitis on Christmas Day or the year that our car slid off the road on Christmas Eve on our way to see Aunt Marge and Grandma Hazel. Those are the memorable Christmases.  Oh, we’ve had some ‘Currier and Ives’ moments too, but mostly the messy Christmases have been our best.

Scooping up poor little sick Blake (and wiping up vomit) may not make a pretty Christmas card but getting him home and tucked into bed and praying at his bedside that he would be well enough for Santa the next morning is still a favorite memory.  Bringing Bess a cup of tea and a few sugar cookies in bed while she was recuperating from bronchitis still makes me a little sentimental – she was too sick to do anything but hold her new baby doll but still she managed a smile that broke my heart. Or the year that we went to midnight Mass and some drunken guy started crying because he hadn’t been to church in years – and we witnessed his ‘conversion moment’. I felt like a jerk for having grumbled under my breath earlier to Deb about “this guy behind us”. 

God certainly had a hand in all of this. And I guess the first Christmas was a pretty humble occasion. So why do I need a perfect Christmas anyway? Besides I think those messy ones have been perfect – perfected by Christ.

So this year I’ll plan for another beautiful Christmas but I hope to remember to thank God for the one that I get. And if I’m truly blessed it may be a little bit messy. Hope yours is too!

Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel, which means “God is with us.” Matthew 1:23

Peace,

Denis

Have An Adventure But Don’t Forget To Wear Your Seatbelt

/ Denis Wilhelm / 2 Comments

Being a parent is sort of like being a high wire trapeze artist.  One wrong move and you’re a goner!

Being a good parent is even harder. The challenge: you love your children with all your heart but sometimes you must suppress the urge to kill them. Good parents have learned how to do this.

Don’t get me wrong; being a dad has been my greatest blessing in this life.  And being a granddad is just ‘icing on the cake’. It’s just that sometimes it’s maddening. There is no instruction manual and kids have no warranty and the return policy is practically non-existent. But still parenthood remains the most rewarding experience in life.

Here’s why: Sometimes they love you back! It’s that simple. Your kid can grow up to be a president or a pimp but if they love you then you know that somewhere along the line you must have done something right.

Deb and I raised our kids with one philosophy – “What in hell are we doing?”  We really had no clue (I still don’t) but we just loved them and somehow muddled through.  So far not one of them is a serial killer or has written a ‘tell-all’ tale about their childhood; so we must have done (sort of) okay.

I think that there are basically two parenting styles:

The first one is what I call “The Helicopter-Science Project Parent”. These are the folks that are constantly hovering over their kids. They do EVERYTHING for the little darlings. They check their homework each night; they make sure that junior has all the right friends and monitor ALL activity. They keep their little loved ones on a pretty tight leash. And of course as the name implies – they actually build that amazing ‘Science Fair Volcano’ that junior takes credit (and the blue ribbon) for. These kids likely get in the best schools and live lives that their parents are proud of but they seem sad and stifled and will certainly have a mid-life crisis.

The second style is what I call “This Seems like a Good Idea Today”.  I think most of us fall into this category.  I know we certainly did. We tried to let our kids make their own mistakes (we’d already made enough of our own) and learn from them. We tried to be supportive and ALWAYS encouraged our kids to take risks within reason.  Our mantra was “You are only limited by your imagination” but in reality we subscribed more to the theory of “Have an adventure but don’t forget to wear your seatbelt”. It’s hard to push those ‘baby birds’ out of the nest but somehow we knew that would be for the best – even when sometimes we were hanging on for dear life (ours not theirs).

And those science projects?  They were awful!

Looking back I wouldn’t change a thing (except for maybe that time when I made Blake’s teacher cry at ‘Parent-Teacher Conferences’ even though she had it coming!) Giving your kids freedom means they are more likely to “mess up” but more opportunity equals more potential. I’ll take a little craziness any day over boring and bland. Oh, and love! Love is important – don’t forget to love your kids, especially when they are at their least lovable. And pray – even if you’re just asking for God to help you not kill them.

Hallmark® that purveyor of profundity sells a wall hanging that Deb purchased when our granddaughter Anna was born.  It now hangs in her bedroom.  And even though I don’t usually like schmaltzy stuff; I love this plaque.

It states:

IN THIS HOME…

WE DO SECOND CHANCES.

WE DO GRACE.

WE DO REAL.

WE DO MISTAKES.

WE DO I’M SORRYS.

WE DO LOUD REALLY WELL.

WE DO HUGS.

WE DO FAMILY.

WE DO LOVE.

How about that for a parenting philosophy?  And don’t forget to wear your seatbelt!

Peace,

Denis

No Place Like Home

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

I’m in Mexico again! Another business trip to Mexico City. Another couple of plane rides. Another couple of nights in a hotel.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not complaining. I really love traveling. And I’ll be seeing a customer whose company I truly enjoy. And I’m painfully aware of how many of my friends are unemployed or under-employed. So I am thankful for my job – even if it takes me away from home sometimes.

But tonight I just want to be home. I want to hear my wife tell me about her day. I want to fall asleep watching the local news – in English! I want to listen to my six-year old granddaughter tell me excitedly about her newest friend at school or hear my two-year old granddaughter tell me that she’s going to be going to school soon, too! I want to see my baby grandson smile his sweet smile (that I’m certain is just for me!). I’m a hopeless ‘homebody’.

I don’t know, maybe it’s the ‘holidays’ or the fact that our son is leaving for Korea next week for a year but right now I NEED TO BE HOME. I’m feeling that ‘ache’ for home that I sometimes get.

So here I am in Mexico City feeling way too sorry for myself AND guilty because so many others are separated from their loved ones – not for just a few days but for years or maybe for eternity.

I’m praying these next few days pass quickly and I’ll be back in that “loving embrace” of home soon. I also pray for all those who are yearning for home. May they find “home” in their hearts; in their memories; in their dreams.

This song always makes me a little sad, but sometimes a little sadness makes me happy (or maybe I’m just a little loco!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbSOLBMUvIE&feature=related

Peace,

Denis

Look Who’s Six Years Old!

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Charlise

On 10/10/10 Charlise Clare Wilhelm will be six years old.  It’s hard to believe that we have a six year old granddaughter. Time flies!  It only seems like yesterday that we met our ‘Little Peanut’ and now here she is ready to be a big girl.  But not too fast – please!  She might be ready to be a big girl but Pawpaw still needs some time to catch up.

Charlise is in kindergarten – a big milestone.  She loves school and I’m certain her teacher loves her, too.   Her circle of influence is growing and her peers’ opinions are VERY IMPORTANT now.  She is similar to all other kids in her need to ‘fit in’ and I’m sure she will have more than her fair share of school friends.  She has a way of winning people over with her big smile.  She’s already a charmer at six!

This Saturday she is having a “bowling” birthday party and has invited everyone in her classroom.  It will fun to see her interact with her new friends.  I can already tell that she will be popular in school because she is such a loving and giving little girl.  She just has a way about her – so sweet, so nice, so Charlise!

Charlise and I have a lot fun being silly together.  We tease Nana and we laugh a lot.  We make funny noises and we chase around the house.  We play outside and hunt for wild chihuahuas in the backyard (one of our many ‘pretend’ games).  I guess when she gets older she will either remember this time fondly or laugh about it – either way; I’m okay.

As exciting as it is to see her grow up and become her own little person, I sometimes can’t help but reminisce about when she was born.  She arrived a month before she was due and only weighed 3-1/2 lbs.  I will never forget holding her for the first time and feeling like the luckiest man alive – I believe I still am!  But there are times when I really miss Baby Charlise.  When she spends the night at our house now she sleeps in THE BIG BED in the yellow bedroom.  But when I look in on her late at night and watch her sleeping and listen to her breathe I can still catch a glimpse of our sweet baby who was such a little peanut at birth.  She lies there in peaceful sleep and her face still has the innocence and purity of an angel – I’m certain (for me) that it will never go away.

Charlise is our first grandchild.  And being first gives her special status.  She was the first grandchild to capture my heart and she will hold it forever.  I know that God has blessed me and her name is Charlise.

Happy Birthday Peanut!

Love,

Pawpaw

The Story of Noah

/ Denis Wilhelm / 2 Comments

You all know the story of Noah and The Ark.  God tells Noah to collect two of every animal and put them on his boat (ark) before the Great Flood.  God saves the world with Noah’s help!  Even if you don’t believe in God, it’s a great redemption story.  A story of renewal and second chances.

Monday my daughter and son-in-law got their ‘second chance’.  Noah was born.  He is their second child.  A second chance for love.  And who knows how he will change our world – he’s already changed our family.  My guess is that he will work slowly – one heart at a time.  He is already responsible for so much happiness and he is barely aware of himself at this point.  Babies are ALWAYS about redemption and renewal – God’s way of letting us know we should keep on keepin’ on.  Noah gives me hope!

Noah looking more like Moses here

 

Noah Wilhelm Kleckner joined the world on Monday 9-20-10 with a bang!  Mommy (Bess) and Nana (Debbie) were at Bess’s regularly scheduled doctor’s appointment when Bess went into labor.  Here’s Deb’s account:

“I took Bess to the doctor for her last prenatal visit (she was going to be induced on Wednesday).  Travis stayed home with Anna because it was nap time and this was just supposed to be a routine visit.  Bess and I had lunch about 1 p.m.  She said that she had a couple of contractions earlier in the morning, but certainly nothing to get excited about.

Her appointment was at 1:45 and when we arrived we learned that Dr. Kodner had gone home sick.  So there was a longer than usual wait.  Bess had a couple of contractions and when she couldn’t talk while she was having one, we decided to start timing them.  They were 4 minutes apart for almost an hour.  So Bess went to the counter and said that she was pretty sure she had gone into labor while she was waiting.  They saw her pretty quickly after that!  They examined her and asked if she had her bag with her.  Of course she did not!  We went straight to the hospital.  I called Denis and told him to go to Bess and Travis’ house and not to goof around (as if I would – editorial comment) getting there.

We got to the hospital about 3:45.  Travis arrived a short while later.  By then Bess was telling us not to touch her or breathe on her!  She got an epidural and then life was much better.  She told Travis to go and get something to eat before things got too busy (he’s a known fainter).  The nurse broke her water about 6:15 and said she would be back in 30 minutes to check her progress.  When the nurse returned to check, she lifted the sheet and said “And…we’re…having a baby!”  It was remarkably calm and I was kind of stuck in the corner trying to stay out-of-the-way.  And just that quickly, Noah was born.

No one had planned on me being there but there was no time to leave.  I feel a little like I intruded on their very special time, but mostly I feel like I was right where God wanted me to be.  What a blessing to behold! ~ Love, Debbie”

Meanwhile big sister Anna and I were at home watching ‘Wonder Pets’ and waiting for THE CALL.  The good news came and we were summoned to the hospital where Anna would meet her little brother.

Holding my grandson Monday evening for the first time made me realize (once again) how much God has blessed us.  And I knew then that I was being given (another) second chance.

Peace,

Denis

Waiting (patiently?)

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Our third grandchild was due yesterday.  YESTERDAY.  Apparently she or he doesn’t know that we (me?) are a very impatient family.  EVERYTHING is ready.  Bags are packed.  Exit strategies have been checked and double checked.  I’m sure our son-in-law Travis has developed a computer program that details the fastest, safest and most efficient way to travel to the hospital.  Now we just need the baby to join in the fun.

I think Bess is getting a little weary but she’s never been more beautiful and could be a model for some pregnancy magazine (if they have that sort of thing).  But still she’s ready to have her baby NOW.  Soon-to-be big sister Anna was telling me yesterday about how she plans to help with the baby by fetching diapers and singing lullabies.  She told me that babies go “wah, wah, wah, a lot” and that “they’re really little”.  So she’s prepared, too.  Travis is adorable – fretting over Bess and Anna and the ‘what, when, and why’, etc.  I love how much he loves my girls and I love him, too.

So here I am the granddad with nothing to offer.  I’m ready and patience has never been my ‘strong-suit’.  I just keep praying and thinking positive thoughts and try to be upbeat but that’s not much comfort to an overdue daughter and a nervous son-in-law.  I had a dream last night that Bess was hanging from some dangerously high beam at some construction site.  But I was able to save her!  And she was okay but she didn’t go into labor in my dream.  I guess I just need to feel like I’m serving some purpose even though this whole ‘having a baby thing’ is beyond my control.  When Bess was a little girl I could patch up a scraped knee but I’m completely useless in the baby delivery department.

Of course, there’s Nana Deb ALWAYS appearing calm in the face of uncertainty (man that bugs me!).  But I know that she’s as anxious as me and truth be known she’s getting a little antsy, too. 

One thing is for certain – Baby will arrive soon.  Dear God please grant me patience – but hurry!  Oh yeah, and help Bess and Baby, too.  Sometimes I forget that this isn’t all about me…

Peace,

Denis

Baby, Oh Baby!

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Our daughter Bess is due next weekend. Seems like we’ve waited a long time for Baby Number Two – and now all of sudden it’s time! I don’t why I have to be ready but I feel like I do.  And how exactly am I supposed to ready myself?  Third grandchild.  Second child of my daughter and son-in-law.  We’ve been down this road before.  We’re experienced.  And yet this morning I was praying for Bess and Baby and I remembered how excited we were when our third child was born. 

Bess is ready!

I’ll never forget the nurse in the hospital that thought Blake was our first child because we were so happy.  And how much her surprise at finding out he was our third disturbed me.  Oh sure, there’s some stuff we thought we knew but we didn’t know him and we hadn’t ever had three children  before.  And maybe it was just a little bit scary but it was wonderful!  How could we not be excited?

Bess is ready.  Travis is ready.  The nursery is ready.  Anna is as ready as a two year old can be (her going to Nana & Pawpaw’s suitcase is packed).  All necessary preparations have been made.  We’re all prepared.  But babies have a funny way of changing the rules.  They come when they’re ready.  They sometimes come with a roar.   They sometimes come with a whimper.  But Baby will come and be loved and our lives will be filled with more joy.

I’m out of town right now and I feel a little anxious about Baby arriving while I’m gone.  As if she or he needs me to be there.  I guess it’s selfish but I want to be there and see that face and meet that little person that will change our lives and win our hearts – yes it’s been done before but not like this and not with this little individual.  God continues to bless us.  I just want to be there to give thanks.

Here’s my prayer:

All loving God,

Hear my prayer for my daughter Bess who awaits the birth of her child.  She has cooperated with you in giving life.  Assist her as she prepares to give birth to her baby.  May she be filled with your peace and blessing so that she may bring her child into this world safely and in good health.

Amen

My prayer is also that all babies could be loved as much as I know this one will be.

Peace,

Denis