As a father, I have a strong devotion to Saint Joseph the patron saint of all fathers. My prayers always include my sons and my daughter, as well as my four granddaughters and my grandson. But while asking God to take care of them, I sometimes forget to thank God. So, God thank you for my children and grandchildren!
There is something almost primal about my need to love and protect my children – maybe its self-preservation. Maybe when the first dad (Adam?) crawled out of the primordial ooze we were all pre-wired to protect our offspring in order to make certain our species would survive. Who knows?
What I do know is that my children are the manifestation of the love that my wife and I share. Seems almost greedy – to have a love as beautiful as ours and three remarkable children. And even better: five amazing grandchildren.
My happiest and saddest times have been as a dad. My greatest joys and greatest heartaches have come from my children. But mostly joy and ALWAYS love. Being a father is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree. Sometimes no matter how hard I try – I fail. I say the wrong thing. Or I behave unkindly. Or just forget to let my kids know how much I love them. I take for granted that they understand that they are in my heart so deeply that not a day goes by that I am not blessed by their very existence. They should know, right? Maybe not…
I rely on Saint Joseph to help me. He certainly must have felt ill-equipped, at times, to deal with Jesus. I have been blessed with three incredibly loving, and gifted children. There are times when I know I’m not even in their league in terms of intelligence, ability, and achievement. But somehow God let me have a hand in these beautiful creations, and gave me Joseph to reach out to when it all becomes too overwhelming.
Peace,
Denis
Recently our oldest granddaughter Charlise donated her long beautiful hair to a charity that provides wigs for those battling cancer (she donated enough for two). Her selfless act humbles me. Our granddaughter Anna finished her basketball season this past weekend. She hugged me tight after her game, thanked me for being there, and told me that she loved me. Those words were golden – just being there made me worthy of her love. My grandson Noah told me that someone at his soccer game on the opposing team said something very unkind. And then he told me that he felt sorry for that boy because no one had taught him how to be a good sport. Noah wasn’t angry. He was sad for the other boy. Noah’s coaches and his parents have taught him well.
Perhaps this is why I need Lent. Maybe my journey is meant to be a struggle. A challenge. A reminder that God loves me as I am, but I could do more. I am made in God’s image, but my humanity requires that I accept and even embrace my limitations and my sinfulness. I also must accept the fact that because I have free will, I can choose to love God or not. Faith is a choice. Lent should be an opportunity not a burden.
It turns out that as she was feeding their bodies, they were feeding her soul. She spent most days chopping potatoes, carrots, onions, or whatever was donated. She made soups or stews to feed the families. The first day she was making fruit salad and serving it in tiny Dixie cups. One of the regular volunteers told her that she was filling the cups too full and there wouldn’t be enough for everyone. It brought her to tears as these people were starving and she was only able to serve a very small portion. When she cried, the other volunteer also cried. Deb says they held on to one another for the longest time and sobbed. She also tells me that because they served several hundred people each day they would nearly run out of water, bread, vegetables or fruit, but then there would be a knock at the door and whatever was needed would appear – truly God’s blessings.
Why do we often label those who are seeking asylum as villainous? Why do we disregard the humanity at our borders as pawns in some political game? Why do we only see danger, terror, and suspicion in those searching for a better life?
I still vividly remember our wedding day and my bride walking down the aisle. It felt surreal. The sunlight was streaming through the windows and the light seemed to be emanating from her. I believe I saw my future in her beautiful green eyes at that very moment. That was 44 years ago and the light still shines. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in this life, but the one thing I did right was on January 4, 1975 when I said, “I do.”
Life hasn’t always been easy but the good times outweigh the bad. The laughter drowns out the tears. And sometimes hanging on means holding on. Holding on to one another. Never letting go. Remembering in our darkest hours that our love will survive. If all is lost, our perfect love can still be found.
“I guess you were right, Linus. I shouldn’t have picked this little tree,” said Charlie Brown. “Everything I do turns into a disaster. I guess I don’t really know what Christmas is all about. Isn’t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?”
The Advent Season is a blessing for me. It gives me the opportunity to set aside my needs and my wants, and to instead focus on the love of a God who sent his Son to be with us. It is a good time for me to reflect how loving (or unloving) I have been. It’s an opportunity for me to reach out to others; to become vulnerable; to stop worrying about perfection and to become perfected in Christ’s love.
Advent is a good time for me to stop and listen to what Jesus is asking of me. I try to quiet myself and listen to what is truly important. Mostly I fail. But sometimes Jesus shines through. Sometimes my heart is broken open enough to allow the love of God to fill my soul. The love is always there but often it takes a smile or a kind word or a song or a warm embrace to help me let down my defenses. Last weekend my granddaughter gently put her arm around me and told me (again) that she loved me. Christ came to me at that moment. I didn’t even ask for God’s love and there it was!
I smile and shake hands and offer the occasional hug or pat on the back. I’m the ‘Minister of Hospitality’ but in truth I’m the one being ministered. These folks that I’m greeting, that I know I would have never engaged in conversation before, are also welcoming me and greeting me and loving me. I’m certain many are misogynists, and racists, and xenophobes, and all manner of despicable human. But isn’t that why we gather? Aren’t we at Mass to be changed? Aren’t we building the “Body of Christ” in our flawed human way?