There have been more than a few times in my life when I have questioned why I have been chosen for something. Some job? Some challenge? Some blessing?

It feels like yesterday that I watched my bride walk down the aisle and I vividly remember thinking it was all too good to be true. I was more than a little afraid that she might turn around and bolt out of the church like some scene in a bad sitcom. It was that mixed feeling of thrill and terror that has often been my companion on this journey of life. Looking at my newborn son with such joy and pride and absolute panic. Turning to my wife, as she held him in her arms in the front seat of our 1977 Pinto, I asked, “What do we do now?” “I don’t know, just drive”, wasn’t exactly the answer I was looking for.

Somehow jumping into the deep end has been a recurring theme for me (us). I don’t necessarily recommend the “just close your eyes and jump” philosophy as a stable or pragmatic life plan but it’s afforded us some adventures along the way.

I’ve had plenty of jobs that required ‘on the job training’ not because the employer offered it, but because I convinced them that my skill set met their demands and then I just faked it until I knew what I was doing. I may have learned that from my father. Speak with confidence. Carry yourself with dignity. And somehow the rest will follow (hopefully). It made my career. Thanks Dad!

I clearly remember 12 years ago, Deb and I sitting in a pub in our village in England and laughing because as couple of small-town Midwestern knuckleheads, “we had no business working and living abroad”. Later I spent years managing a team in Mexico City with a little more than a child’s command of Spanish but gifted with a team who carried me on the most amazing experience (Estaré en deuda contigo para siempre).

So, now I’m a ‘Partner in Mission’ (a lay associate) with the Sisters of the Most Precious Blood of O’Fallon, Missouri. The Sisters are a vowed religious order dedicated to service to God and community. I’m just a guy who struggles with remembering to always say “grace” at meals. Once again, I’m learning on the job. The Sisters and other Partners show me the way.

I’ve learned that I don’t have to be super-holy to be a Partner. I still cuss and lose my temper. And I behave like a jackass from time to time. Many of the Sisters and Partners, I have come to know, are saints in my opinion and they still welcome me. In a world full of narcissists and bullies they are models of humility and kindness that I desperately need.

Being a Partner isn’t all rosaries and quiet contemplation. It’s not some mysterious club that requires knowledge beyond my ability. It’s action. It’s example. It’s involvement. It’s joy. It’s life! My simple prayers work. My weak attempts at being a better person suffice. Knowing that there is plenty room for self-improvement, I’m once again ‘jumping into the deep end’ with the secure knowledge that someone will throw me a line (if needed). And a little bit of ‘why me?’ surfaces from time to time to just to keep things interesting.

Peace,

Denis