I love new technology. I especially love it when it works. I have an iPod® and an iPhone® and my son and son-in-law each have an iPad® (which just look like giant iPhones® to me). I have some ‘apps’ which I recently learned means ‘applications’ but I don’t really know what that means. And I don’t need to (or want to) know – please don’t try to tell me. I just want the phone to stop dropping calls. I also would like it to stop “pocket dialing” people; which means when jostled in my pocket my iPhone® mysteriously finds numbers and dials them – it’s like magic!

Now I’m told that there are many wonderful things that my iPhone® can do, but really just making phone calls and reading the occasional email is enough for me. Oh, and playing games when stuck in the airport or waiting in a long line is fun, too. But I don’t a need a GPS tracker that works like an electronic ankle bracelet or an ‘app’ that tells me what the restaurants in New Zealand are serving or what the temperature is on Mars. It’s too much information!

 And I refuse to text! I do not accept text messages nor will I send them (mainly because I don’t understand the abbreviations). It took me about a year to realize that LOL wasn’t someone’s initials! Don’t even get me started on OMG! What’s wrong with spelling an entire word or phrase? Remember how excited we were as children when we learned how to write? Wouldn’t it be fun to relive that excitement and use actual words in our written communications? Imagine the joy in being clearly understood by those with whom we are corresponding – instead of the receiving party asking “what in hell does this mean?”.

Call me old-fashioned but I don’t need you to send me Facebook® updates every time you leave your house. As glad as I may be that you “like” your favorite dry-cleaner, car wash, liquor store, or deli, I don’t really need you to share that information with me. Also I wish the folks at Amazon® would stop sending me “recommendations” daily. If I had that kind of money I would hire somebody to go out and buy stuff that I don’t need at a real store. And how do I get those STORY-PEOPLE® to stop??? I swear I’ll purchase another over-priced item if they’ll just stop sending me those daily STORY-PEOPLE® stories!

I think tomorrow I’ll write all my memorandums “old school” in long hand on real paper. There’s probably an ‘app’ for that, too.

Peace,

Denis