Society seems to be obsessed with youth. Slogans like ‘Sixty Is the New Forty’ attempt to convince us that we are still young regardless of our age. Afterall, if 60 is the new 40, then 80 should be the new 60 and 100 should be 80. We are bombarded with advertisements for anti-aging lotions, hair dye, vegetable supplements, weight loss programs and Botox injections. Not to mention the medication to improve our memory and hearing aids so we can better hear the commercials informing us about what we need to stay young. Aging is inevitable, so why not do it with grace and dignity. I’m trying…

Of course, one could argue that if 60 is the new 40, then 30 is the new 15, which may explain why our neighbors’ 30-something children, who are still living at home, have failed to launch. I remember that I couldn’t wait to reach the milestone ages of 16 and 21 and 30. Even 40 was fun-ish. I look at my neighbors in amazement and think about my life as a 30-year-old: married, three kids, full-time jobs, mortgage debt and car payments, utilities, school tuition, etc., etc. I wouldn’t trade those hectic (borderline manic) years for anything! We didn’t think much about the future back then. Our life was day to day. We survived and our children thrived. We were never rich, but we were never really poor. Our blessings weren’t monetary. Our riches were friendship, faith and family.

I must admit that my physical aches and pains are more frequent as the clock continues to tick. My hair is white. My waistline is expanding. But I don’t feel much different than I did at 40. I have the luxury of a less hectic life now as I contemplate the future. I’m about a year away from 70 and there was a time when that seemed really old. Now I look at my friends who are in their 80’s and 90’s who have so much left to do; so much more to share. I’m personally waiting for the wisdom which is supposed to come with old age because I have some things to accomplish as well. I suppose I must get older because wisdom continues to elude me.

A dear friend shared this scripture with me recently and I’ll admit we shared a chuckle about the loss of hair color:

Rejoice, O youth, while you are young and let your heart be glad in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart, the vision of your eyes. Yet understand regarding all this that God will bring you to judgment. Banish misery from your heart and remove pain from your body, for youth and black hair are fleeting. Ecclesiastes 11:9-10

Youth is fleeting! Embrace life at all ages; let your heart be glad! Sometimes I see my dad’s reflection in the mirror, and it hits me that I really am a senior citizen. Embracing life at this age can be challenging, banishing misery from my heart and removing pain from my body isn’t that easy.

But here’s my solution: Memories. I have a lifetime of memories. Some are melancholy but most are beautiful. Many are sublime. They carry me to precious moments in time. Seeing my bride walk down the aisle; the smell of sweet baby milk-breath on our infant children; watching with pride and uneasiness as our kids grew up and moved on; holding on to our loved ones as they passed from this world to the next. Those memories sustain me. That’s the beauty and grace of growing older. The older we get the more memories we have. The more memories we have, the more grace we are afforded.

I want my grandchildren to follow the ways of their hearts and the vision of their eyes and to create memories that will last their lifetimes. Recently my wife and I were reminiscing about days gone by and I realized it’s truly a gift that the happy memories make the sad ones tolerable. Gratitude outweighs regret. Love conquers all. I’ll take the wrinkles and the white hair and all the rest as long as they are served up with cherished memories while I have my partner at my side. Right here. Right now.

Peace,

Denis