neighbors

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

When our kids were young, they loved Mr. Rogers. Truth be told, so did I.

In a hyperactive world of Superheroes, Voltron, Rainbow Brite, He-Man, My Little Pony and Cabbage Patch Kids, Fred Rogers was an anomaly. He was an island of peace and gentility in a sea of turmoil and marketing frenzy. His steady, mild manner was comforting and reassuring. Mr. Rogers spoke to children, not at them. And the only thing he was “selling” was dignity and self-respect.

The characters on his show remain fond memories: Daniel Tiger, Lady Elaine, and Mr. McFeely. And some of his catchphrases still remain in my vocabulary today, only to confuse adults when I utter, “Correct as usual, King Friday”. The concept of the show was simple yet profound and always had a calming influence on my children and their father as well. We learned things; we visited a crayon factory to see how they were made, or about body image issues with a catchy tune (your body’s fancy and so is mine) or we rode along on electric cars (long before anyone knew of Elon Musk), and Mr. Rogers showed us how some children live with special needs. Fred Rogers satisfied our curiosity with gentleness, kindness and humor. He helped us deal with challenging subjects with thoughtfulness and respect.

I have been an associate with a religious community for several years. It is something that I would have never considered possible as a young person: not holy enough, not too prayerful, not well-versed in scripture. But here I am (again) learning to love my neighbor. As I was reflecting on this past Sunday’s commitment ceremony, with the Sisters of the Most Precious Blood, Mr. Rogers Neighborhood crossed my mind. Each year, as associates (Partners in Mission), we recommit to spiritual growth and service to others. In addition, we welcome new Partners to join us on this mission. This year seven new members decided to come along on our journey.

The idea of welcoming our neighbors seems simple. It’s easy to welcome the neighbors who look like us and act like us and talk like us. The challenge of our Precious Blood community is to be a welcoming presence to all we encounter. That’s where it gets a little messy. I have to love the neighbor who doesn’t keep his yard well groomed? I have to love the neighbor who drives too fast down our little lane? I have to love the neighbor whose dog never stops yapping? I have to love the neighbor who never returns a friendly wave? The answer is yes.

And it gets harder: I have to love the neighbor who votes against all that I hold dear? The ones who vote for issues and candidates that I abhor? I have to love the neighbors who are racist, elitist, sexist, misogynistic, and homophobic? Again, the answer is yes.

The Sisters and Partners in my community continue to reinforce the charism of reconciliation. Their examples of love and forgiveness humble me. They accept me as I am; in my sinfulness, and weakness; in my struggles and failures. They remain with me always. Along with them, I choose to deepen my relationship with God and strive to heal our broken world.

Sometimes the first step is offering kindness and understanding to my neighbor. Or accepting someone’s offer of kindness and understanding to me.

Peace,

Denis

The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery; you shall not kill; you shall not steal; you shall not covet,” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this saying, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Romans 13:9

Good luck getting that little ditty out of your head…

Braving the Cold

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

While cursing the cold the other day I realized that in our neighborhood only us old guys shovel the snow from our driveways. We, the heart attack prone, arthritis afflicted, RSV susceptible old-timers, feel compelled to clear the snow from our driveways and walkways. The young people just drive over it. Their lack of concern for neatness and order seems nearly criminal. They just drive off to jobs and other necessary destinations, while I sit and look smugly out my window at my neatly shoveled ‘driveway to nowhere’. I don’t need to leave my house. We are retired. Our pantry in stocked and we have food in the freezer likely older than some of the non-shoveling miscreants who I grudgingly consider my neighbors.

A well shoveled driveway

What if I decide that I must leave the house? Or what shame might I feel if we had an unexpected visitor who had to traverse the dangers of an uncleared walkway? I will shovel! My Dad was a shoveler. He took pride in his ability to clear the snow, and I will carry on that tradition. I suppose the younger generation doesn’t want to brave the elements to conquer their snow-covered driveways and sidewalks. They don’t dress in layers and get booted-up to prove their worth. They just hit the APP on their phones to auto-start their cars. And then drive off with abandon in pre-heated luxury.

While being somewhat amused with my inner curmudgeon, I realize that perspective matters. The younger families must get to where they need to be – driveway be damned! What appears to me to be laziness is probably someone hurriedly trying to get to a job or to get a sick child to a doctor or to help an older parent clear their walkway. Perhaps I could offer to help them. Or at least mind my own business.

Funny thing about judging others, God usually forces me to look in the mirror at some point. That’s when I really need to brave the cold. The cold, hard truth that I have prejudged others. Fortunately, God even forgives sinners like me.

Peace,

Denis

Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? Matthew 7:3