Love

Trying To Be A Peacemaker

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

As a ‘Partner in Mission’ with the Sisters of the Most Precious Blood in O’Fallon, Missouri, I have made a commitment to be a reconciling presence in our world. This (for me) is a daily struggle.

Our world today is wracked with hatred and violence. Extremism, racism, elitism, sexism and terrorism is daily headline news. The moral, economic and political divisions in our country alone seem to be greater than any other time in my adult life.

So here I am joined with the “Sisters” in hopes of bringing the reconciling love of Jesus to our world through prayer, service and presence. At times this feels overwhelming and futile. How can I be a peacemaker when I can’t get along with my co-workers and neighbors? How do I even begin to reach out to those who don’t share my values? And what about all those folks that I’ve decided to dislike – for their political affiliations or beliefs? What about people that I’ve discounted due to their lack of education or worth (in my opinion)? What about the ones that I hate simply because of how they talk or look or where they live or who they love? peace

 

How can I, a flawed and sinful man, become a peacemaker? This won’t be easy, but I believe that I must begin with me. To “reconcile” means to rebuild; reconnect; to be at peace. I’ll have to try to be more loving; more caring; more respectful; and less judgmental. I’ll have to shut my mouth and open my ears and more importantly my heart.

And I’m sure that I will fail more often than I succeed. But I’m encouraged by the simple fact that every life makes a difference. I will look for the divine in everyone that I encounter. After all we are made in God’s image. Love is easy to give when it’s received in kind. I’m going to try to love with no hope of love in return. And maybe, just maybe, somewhere along the way I may bring peace to at least one other person. It’s a start.

God created mankind in his image; in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

And my journey continues…

Peace,

Denis

P.S. To know more about being a Partner with the Sisters of The Most Precious Blood click on the link: http://cpps-ofallon.org/ministries/partners-in-mission/

 

 

Boy In A Hurry

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

Today is our grandson’s 6th birthday. Noah is always in a hurry! Whether he’s running through the backyard or cruising on his bicycle, or racing across the swimming pool or sliding into home, he is always “full speed ahead”!noah-me

That was even true on the day that he was born. It seems like it was yesterday that our daughter Bess was at her last prenatal appointment. While waiting to see the doctor she was pretty sure she had gone into labor. They examined her and sent her straight to the hospital at about 3:45 pm. Two hours later a nurse looked in on Bess and said she would be back in 30 minutes to check her progress. When the nurse returned to check, she lifted the sheet and said “And…we’re…having a baby!”

Just that quickly, Noah was born at 7:06 pm, September 20, 2010. He’s been in a hurry from the start.

I thank God for giving us a healthy boy who can run and run and run. I’m grateful that “he’s the fastest__________________________” (fill in the blank). He’s a dynamo who seems to move a little faster everyday. But some days I wish he would slow down. Sometimes I just need him to “put on the brakes”. I want him to climb on my lap. I want to hold him in my arms and kiss his sweet face. I want him to be “little” for just a little while longer. There are days when I feel desperate for Baby Noah. I want to tell him to please not be in such a hurry to grow up. To savor this time. To be patient. To hold on.

But today is not about me. Noah’s life is his own. He’s six today! And he’s in a hurry to run marathons and climb mountains and conquer this world and create beautiful moments and memories along the way.

I realize of course that I don’t need Noah to slow down as much as I need to catch up. And God willing, when I’m too old to run alongside him, I hope that I’ll still be able to cheer from the sidelines as he hurries past.

Happy Birthday Noah!

I love you,

(Pawpaw)

Denis

 

Kindergarten

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

This month our grandson Noah will begin kindergarten.

To me he seems wise beyond his years. He believes in God and prays often, albeit sometimes in a slightly selfish 5 year-old way (as do many adults that I know). He deeply cares about others, especially his big sister and his mommy and daddy. Noah’s interests are varied. He loves the outdoors. He plays baseball and soccer. He likes to swim. He likes to climb, jump and run. He also loves playing with Legos and Play-Doh, watching movies, playing board games. He has a very active imagination. He likes books but more than that, he loves hearing stories, especially if I tell him stories about when I was a boy (sometimes they’re even true). Noah loves music and loves to dance. And he laughs – huge belly laughs. He is fun and funny. We call him “Life’s-a-Party-Noah” for good reason. He is physically demonstrative and will gladly throw his arms around this old man and give me a huge kiss on the cheek. It doesn’t matter who may be watching. He loves me. And of course I love him!

Noah Kindergarten

Noah modeling his new school uniform

And so he begins a new chapter in his young life – Formal Education. From this day forward everything will be on his PERMANENT RECORD. I know that Noah will approach school with he same tenacity and aplomb that he tackles everything else. He’s a good team player and is easily coached so I suspect that the order and discipline required in school won’t be too challenging for him. Plus he loves to learn new things. And he’s kind. So he will be good to his classmates and teachers. And there can never be too much kindness in our world. Noah will surely do well with school.

But here’s the thing: Will school do well with Noah? Will his enthusiasm and joyful spirit be enhanced or stifled? Will his teachers expose him to new experiences and new ideas that fill his heart and stretch his mind or will he become bored and restless because of conformity and rote learning? Of most concern to this grandfather is whether or not his spirit will be allowed to soar. Noah has so much to offer and I’m convinced that he will change our world. He’s already changed mine.

I want the universe to open up for him in ways he can’t yet imagine. I want his achievements to be as boundless as his dreams. I want him to travel the world; read and study and explore; make a difference; discover his best self; love and be loved beyond measure. And I hope that someday he is blessed with a boy of his own who will fill his life with light and love.

I suppose that this is a lot to place on the small shoulders of a kindergartener. But hey, it’s Noah!

And I can always tell him a story about when I was in kindergarten…

Peace,

Denis

P.S. Noah, Always stay humble and kind…

Love Endures

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

mom dad weddingIn 1947 an 18 year-old girl named Dot and an (almost) 21 year-old guy named George tied the knot. He having recently completed his stint with the Navy in World War II and she fresh off the farm, these two kids met in August of 1946 and were married the following spring. For him it was love at first sight. For her it took a little convincing but not too much.

Sixty-nine years, four children, seven grandchildren, ten great-grandchildren (with an eleventh on the way) later, my parents are celebrating their wedding anniversary. And their love endures.

In an ever-changing world they have been a constant in my life. They have shared good times and bad. They have laughed and cried together. They have worked hard and played even harder. And their love endures.

Their marriage has survived 12 U.S presidents, 7 popes, the Korean War, Frank Sinatra, the building and demolition of the Berlin Wall, the Cold War, Elvis Presley, the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Kennedy Assassination, the Vietnam War, the Tonight Show, the political turbulence and racial unrest of the 1960’s, the Beatles, the Moon Landing, the “Me Decade” of the 1970’s, disco music, the Watergate Scandal, the Aids epidemic, Reaganomics, the technological advances of the 1990’s, Madonna and Michael Jackson, the Oklahoma City bombing, Oprah Winfrey, the 2000 millennium, Nancy Grace and Doctor Phil, hip-hop, 9-11, American Idol, gay marriage, iPhones, iPads and cars that can parallel park themselves. And their love endures.

mom dad 69I am blessed to be equal parts of both of them. I’d like to think that I’m the best parts of both of them. I know that I have Dad’s ears and chin and forehead and well, pretty much everything else. But the important parts are less about physical attributes and genetics and more about what has been imparted. Mom taught me how to pray. Dad taught me how to tell a good joke. Mom taught me the importance of cleanliness. Dad taught me the importance of family. Mom taught me how to do math in my head. Dad taught me how to build and fix things (and how to cuss when things don’t build or fix easily). Mom taught me that “early risers” get to enjoy the best part of the day. Dad taught me that watching old movies late at night can be just as rewarding. They both taught me how to love.

And Dad gave me the best advice ever on my wedding day. “When you have a fight, and you will, always be the first one to say you’re sorry. It won’t matter if she’s wrong and you’re right – just say you’re sorry. It’ll be the truth, too. Because you’ll be sorry that you fought.” I’ve never forgotten Dad’s words.

Having raised my own family and watching my grandkids growing up, I realize how important family is to me. I also know that the legacy of love and devotion of Dot and George will live on in generations yet to come.

Because their love endures.

Peace,

Denis

 

 

 

 

Alleluias and Easter Bunnies

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Throw open the shutters. Spring has arrived! Daffodils and tulips and the dogwood are blooming. Birds are singing. New life is in abundance!

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, the day in which Christians celebrate Christ’s rising from the dead. As believers, our salvation is ‘a done deal’ if we choose the gift of His redemption. So churches will be filled to capacity.

Easter 1958aWe need the joy of Easter. It is a welcome balm that can ease the pain in our world. I for one love the carnival atmosphere of Easter Sunday services. Kids dressed in itchy new Easter clothes barely able to sit still because of all the candy that they have consumed before breakfast; beleaguered parents who rose before dawn to hide eggs and prepare baskets full of the aforementioned candy for the little darlings; folks who have not been to church in a while looking conspicuously out-of-place; ‘the regular-attenders’ barely able to conceal their annoyance of having to share their pew. We squeeze in and make room for all. And we love and forgive and ask for forgiveness for the times that we have failed to love. The Alleluias return!

Baked ham, lamb with mint jelly, hot cross buns, deviled eggs and asparagus will adorn our dining tables. Desserts will be rich and plentiful. And don’t forget the candy, surreptitiously snatched from the kiddies Easter baskets while they’re being distracted by yet another treat left behind by the Easter Bunny. Welcome home Springtime!

Some Christians are bothered by all the focus on the Easter Bunny, feeling that it diminishes the sanctity of Easter. After all what does a bunny that hides eggs and gives candy have to do with our Risen Savior? I’m not sure. But what difference does it make? Easter supplanted pre-Christian spring festivals and it doesn’t make it any less sacred to me.

So I’ll welcome the Easter Bunny to hop into my back garden again this year and hide his (her) eggs and leave behind some treats. I’ll smell the sweet aroma of new flowers and tree blossoms. I’ll love and forgive and ask for forgiveness. I’ll eat some ham and sing my Alleluias. And be thankful for it all.

Peace,

Denis

 “Why do you seek the living one among the dead?” Luke 24:5

 

The More Things Change – The More They Stay The Same

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

I’ve always been a little envious of the completely ‘Free Spirits’; those folks who just throw caution to the wind and take off on yet-another-adventure. They rarely seem to plan much more than what to wear or what to eat (and usually that appears unplanned, too). At the opposite end of the spectrum are the ‘Judicious’; those folks who are overly cautious, sometimes paralyzed by indecision or fear of the unknown; needing assurance and insurance at every turn.

I’d like to think I’m somewhere in between Free Spiritedness and Judiciousness. You know, ready to jump on that plane or train or boat or bus but packing carefully and making sure the door is locked and the lights are turned off on my way out the door. I’m probably 60% Free Spirit and 40% Judicious – my lovely wife Debbie is probably 40% Free Spirit and 60% Judicious. She’s more of planner and I’m more of a doer. (Come to think of it, she plans a lot of the stuff that I do). We make a good team. We have a plan. We are on the right course.

change-aheadAnd then comes change. Change creeps in and well, changes everything. How many times in my life have I had to adjust to change? Another baby. A lost job. A new home. The death of a loved one. A promotion. An illness. An accident. A marriage. A new grandchild.

Some change is good. Some is bad. Some is scary. Some is delightful. But somewhere amidst all the change remains a constant. It’s love.

Jobs are lost. Marriages end. Accidents happen. People get sick. Loved ones are mourned. We say goodbye to friends. But love stays.

New homes are found. Different careers are begun. Babies are born. Unique places are discovered. Strange new skills are learned. Unusual experiences are shared. And love stays.

I often think about the young girl I met 43 years ago who changed my life. We couldn’t afford to be free spirits or planners back then (we just muddled through) but God had plan for us. She was this short sweet little Baptist girl who had attended public schools and I was this tall skinny smart-ass who had gone to Catholic schools. Debbie was very popular in high school. Everyone was her friend and everyone thought that she was too nice for me (even me). I was not popular in high school. I was sort of a doofus. We were an unlikely match but we somehow fell in love.

And then I changed and became a man worthy of her love.

I know that life will constantly test my free spiritedness and my judiciousness. And nothing will ever be the same. Not even me. And the more things change the more our love will remain the same.

Peace,

Denis

P.S. The video attached is one that our daughter created over 6 years ago and a lot has changed since then (except the love).

 

 

Don’t Be Fooled By Her Size

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

(After reading about all the hoopla concerning Barbie® and the fact that she now comes in four sizes: regular, petite, tall and curvy I thought I would rerun this post originally published in August 2011.) 

When my wife was a little girl she wanted to be Barbie® – tall and blonde and all the rest. But instead God decided to make her Midge® – Barbie’s best friend. Midge was short and brunette and NOT BARBIE. But even though Midge (Deb) is ‘vertically challenged’ you shouldn’t be fooled by her size. She is larger than life. Her circle of influence is boundless. She dreams big. She has more class in her little finger than most folks have in their entire body. And she has more friends today than I have had in my entire life.

The best things do come in small packages

Most descriptions of her include phrases like: big heart; generous spirit; huge smile; hearty laugh; giving friend, loving mother, and caring daughter. These are hardly the images of a mousey little Midge. And Deb does things in a big way, too. Meals are an event. You’ll never leave her table hungry. Holidays are a time for elegant decorating and grand entertaining, and fabulous food. She works hard and she plays hard, too.

And if you are in need, she’s the friend/sister/daughter/mother to call on. If you need a laugh, she will always deliver. If you need someone to hold or if you need to be held, her arms are always open wide. If you need to cry, she will cry, too. Debbie has this incredible gift of making you feel that when she’s with you, no one else is more important or more needed at that moment than you. You have her complete undivided attention. And she gives her entire self.

Her children and grandchildren will also tell you that she is a ‘force to be reckoned with’. And most importantly, you should NEVER attempt to hurt one of her children or grandchildren – she’s like a lioness in her need to protect them. And I believe that she would “stare down the devil” if the need arose.

And for me, well when Deb walks in the room it’s like everyone else fades into the background. All the light in the space seems to be emanating from her. She just gets to me.  Deb always tells our granddaughters “that you have to be pretty on the inside if you want to be pretty on the outside”. And she lives those words, too. Her beauty shines through.

Barbie, you might be a statuesque blonde but you’re empty on the inside, I’ll take ‘ma femme petite belle’ over you any day!

Even though I’m over a foot taller than she, I know that she stands well above me in terms of heart and soul. But most of you are already aware of this.

Peace,

Denis

Deb, it’s been my pleasure and honor to “look up” to you all these many years. I love this life we share.  I love you, (petite, curvy and all the rest) ~ D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjgav6VXUxc

An Attitude of Gratitude

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

Sometimes it’s hard for me to be thankful.

I get caught up in all the tragedies of our world: the horror of violence, starvation, war, terrorism, hatred, disease and poverty. I often feel that my prayers for friends who are suffering seem shallow and rote. My futile attempts to ask for God’s mercy seem woefully inadequate in the face of such immense pain and suffering. And I feel numb and helpless. So much sadness; so much heartache; overwhelming misery. At times it really feels as if there is nothing for which to be thankful.thanks

Then I open my eyes! And my mind! And my heart! And I realize that have been given so much – my family, my friends. My beautiful wife of 40 years reminds me daily that we should ALL have an attitude of gratitude. All the sadness in this world is somehow manageable when I hold her in my arms. I become thankful once again for my job, our home, our food, but mostly for the love of one another. All the heartache is bearable when I hear my sons’ voices or hold my daughter’s hand. All my tears are washed away by the smiles, kisses and hugs of my grandchildren. All the hurt and disappointment in my life is diminished by the love of friends and family.

So yes, I’m thankful for those whom I love and those who love me. I’m thankful for those folks I’ve meet along this crazy journey of life. May we always carry one another’s burdens, share each others joys, wipe each others tears, and celebrate one another’s triumphs. We live in an imperfect world but we are perfected by love that we share. Awful things will always happen but those things shouldn’t define who we are. How we find our joy each day should be the measure of our worth.

I, for one, will continue to try to have an attitude of gratitude. My wish today is that you have a blessed and joyful Thanksgiving.

Peace,

Denis

 

Conditional Lover (but trying…)

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

Conditional love is love that is ‘earned’ on the basis of conscious or unconscious conditions. In other words, if you do what I want or behave in a manner that is pleasing to me, I will love you. If not, then my love will be withheld. Sadly this is true for many of us; both those loving and those being loved. I’m not talking so much about romantic love here, although I suppose it works that way sometimes, too. I’m referring to our relationships with friends and colleagues. I’m thinking of work associates, neighbors, classmates, fellow parishioners, and friends.

Capture I often find myself questioning whether or not to spend time with someone because of something that was said or done that “rubbed me the wrong way”. There have been times that I judged someone simply because of who their friends are.  Worse yet, how about those people I avoid just because of their affiliations with certain political or religious groups? Not to mention the folks that I distance myself from simply because of age, race, ethnicity or income level. My justification – “I don’t hate them; I just don’t really like them.” or “I don’t have anything in common with these people.” or “I already have enough friends.”

In truth: My love is conditional. My conditions are simply not being met. And I own this. And it’s a shame.

So I’m   T  R  Y  I  N  G   to love unconditionally. But it’s not easy. Not for me anyway. Unconditional love – such an easy thing to say and such a hard thing to do. Loving without expecting to be loved in return. Kindness given without any expectation of kindness returned. I struggle with this every day.

And yet, I have been given countless examples of unconditional love in my life. Strangers who welcomed me; teachers who guided me; friends and family who have loved me during some pretty un-lovable times.

I think about the year that we lived in England. We were truly foreigners. We tentatively entered our little St. Peter Church in Cirencester for the first time not knowing what to expect. No proof of worthiness or commitment to financial support was required (or ever requested for that matter). Even with our funny American accents, we were loved by our priest “as we were” and embraced by our faith community “just because”.

I have a wife that loves me unconditionally. And I have friends and family that love me unconditionally, too. They’re not looking for anything from me (not that I can offer much anyway). My grandkids love me unconditionally. They just accept me as I am (and they like me this way). Which makes me want to be a better person because of their love.

So I’m going to keep trying to love unconditionally. So don’t be startled if I smile at you for no apparent reason. Don’t be surprised if I am kinder and gentler. And don’t be weirded-out if I give you a hug. And of course sometimes I’ll revert to being a jerk and then if you still love me I’ll know that your love is unconditional.

Loving unconditionally doesn’t guarantee that love will be returned. But it’s all the sweeter if it is.

Peace,

Denis

“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Mark 12:31

Noah is Five Years Old

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Noah 1

It seems like it was just yesterday that I held my grandson in my arms for the first time. But today I struggle to remember life before Noah.

How did I ever live without his joy, his laughter, his love? I didn’t realize how much I needed this sweet boy until he was born and now my life without him would be unimaginable.

Noah is a fun boy. He runs. He swims. He climbs. He rides his scooter at top speed. He is fearless about most things (except insects). He plays soccer and baseball and loves any contest or challenge. And he always wants to win.

Noah is a funny boy. He loves to laugh. He likes to tease and be teased. No one laughs at his silliness harder than he does. He literally cracks himself up. And me too. His laugh is infectious.

Noah is a loving boy. He jumps up into my arms and wraps his arms around my neck and tells me that he loves me. He softly kisses my old face, and it is truly my heart’s delight. He flashes that million dollar smile, and I know that I am blessed.

We play. We laugh. We love.

Today is Noah’s birthday but I’m the one receiving the gift – today and every day for the last five years.

Happy Birthday Noah!

I love you,

Pawpaw

(Denis)

Noah 2

 Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord ~ Genesis 6:8