Jesus

I Don’t Want To…

/ Denis Wilhelm / 3 Comments

I have a plaque in my office that reads, “LOVE GOD. LOVE OTHERS.” Sometimes it brings me great comfort. It reminds me of the friend who gave it to me, which brings a smile to my heart. It helps me remember to be kind. To love.

But honestly, sometimes it annoys me with its sanguine message. Often it challenges me. I don’t want to love others. Most days, I want to be angry, cynical and self-righteous. Love others? Even that obnoxious checker at The Neighborhood Walmart? The kid next door with the diesel truck rumbling at 5:30 AM? The lady at Mass on Sunday who informed me that she didn’t want any children sitting next to her, as I was trying to usher a family to their pew? My political adversaries? The guy at The Home Depot who couldn’t manage to control his dog from getting too friendly with my backside? Bad drivers? I don’t want to love any of those “others”!

As often happens, I stop and realize how foolish I am. As I reflect on my pride and stubbornness and a God who forgives me, I know that I can and must love others, even those annoying so-and-sos. Because many of them have loved me. And God always loves me even when I fail to love in return.

For years we have laughed about the time our grandson Noah, who was three or four years old, didn’t want to wear a collared shirt because in his tearful words, “I don’t want to be fancy!”. He didn’t want to get dressed up for whatever the occasion. He wanted to stay in his play clothes. He didn’t want to be stifled. He wanted to stay in his comfort zone. Getting “fancy” was going to challenge his very existence. You can’t run or throw a ball or tumble on the ground in a collared shirt. Despite his protests, he indeed wore that shirt and somehow, he survived it all. In truth, I would have caved in and let him wear what he wanted but his parents taught him a lesson that day. One that I am struggling to learn.

So today, I will try again to love others. It’s easy to love my family and friends. It’s easy to love those who share my values and my beliefs. It’s easy to love people in need who I see on the news or on social media. They’re distant and untouchable. It’s easy to love people through donations to charitable organizations. I’m shielded from their pain and suffering.

The tough ones to love are the family across the street who don’t keep their yard tidy; the lady who runs the red light; the Congressman who refuses to answer my emails; the person who pushed in front of me at the checkout counter; the family member who I no longer speak to because of political differences; the woman who loudly used profanity in a very crowded public place. And the man that I sometimes see in the mirror.

“I don’t want to…” But I’m trying. Loving others might make me uncomfortable at times. It certainly will push me out of my comfort zone. Loving those with whom I disagree doesn’t mean I have to abandon my beliefs. It might just free me to love more deeply, even if I shed a few tears in the process.

Thanks for the lesson, Noah.

Peace,

Denis

Be Afraid?

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

Politicians seem to be great fear mongers. So is Big Pharma, the NRA, those folks who are selling home security and identity theft protection, lots of media personalities and some clergy members. Fear can be a powerful tool; just look at any political ad. Listen to any talk radio or cable news host, watch any television commercial or attend a church service and you likely be warned about some impending evil – life is scary but if you vote for me, buy my product, or follow my religion, you will be safe (or safer anyway). Fear is an excellent marketing tool. Fear has also fueled hate and prejudice. Fear has gotten us into wars. Fear begets fear. Be afraid – be very afraid!

We should be afraid of some things. We should fear demagogues and dictators and hold on with all our might to our democracy, but not be afraid to have meaningful discourse with those whom we disagree. We should fear for the safety of our children and protect them but not to the point where we refuse to let them experience life to its fullest. We should be afraid of communicable diseases and take necessary precautions to limit them, but not live in isolation. We should fear for our planet and promote ecology but still continue to fish our waters and hunt our wildlife in a sustainable manner.

I refuse to be ruled by fear, I will not buy your product, listen to your propaganda or read your book because of some vague threat of evil or danger despite your warnings. I will not buy into your fear game. And I will not follow your religion or your rules because of some fear of hell.

Instead, I will hold my head high and embrace the good in this world. I will take an active role in promoting peace and justice (if only in my small circle of influence). I will love God and be thankful for life in all its forms. I want to be a role model to my grandchildren. I want them to explore the world and all its wonder and be forces for good. I want them to be ambassadors of goodwill; agents for positive change; lovers of justice and protectors of our planet.

Sometimes we have to stand up for what is right and sing our song. If we join our voices in harmony, the fear will be abated. When we face our fears together, we can find the courage to shout down the hate and inequality around us. Some will take the lead; some will follow; and still others will stand silent.

But together we should never let fear motivate us. Only love should.

Peace,

Denis

Peace

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

Peace. Such a simple word with so many definitions: a state without war; freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions; a state of freedom from storm or disturbance; peaceful coexistence. But what does peace mean to me? As I often do, I look to others for wisdom beyond my ken.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace.” Elie Wiesel wrote, “Mankind must remember that peace is not God’s gift to his creatures; peace is our gift to each other.” In the words of Saint Teresa of Calcutta, “Peace begins with a smile.”

Albert Einstein is quoted as saying “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as if nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

Peace is my miracle. I see peace when I watch the birds and squirrels in my backyard scurrying for seeds and nuts to keep warm in this bitter cold. I feel peace when I hold my grandchildren in my arms knowing that they are God’s promise to make this world a better place. I know peace when the love of others lifts me out of the darkness of despair.

The challenge for me is to be a peace-giver. Each week when I attend mass, we share a ‘sign of peace’. Simply stated: we shake hands or hug those around us and say, “peace be with you”. Sometimes I do it rather mechanically. Sometimes I fail to even look the recipient of my ‘peace’ in the eyes. And seldom do I take the time to really think about the peace I am offering.

Again, seeking wisdom, I turn to my spouse. She often reminds me that we have no idea what pain others are carrying in their hearts. What peace do you need, my friend? What freedom are you seeking? What are your fears? What emotions or thoughts are troubling you? I can offer this small gift. I can give peace, my peace. I can begin with a smile. I can hug a little tighter and hold a hand just a moment longer and let someone know that I truly care.

Here’s the other part: accepting peace. Am I changed when others offer their peace to me? Do I accept their peace generously and without question? Once again: I can begin with a smile. I can hug a little tighter and hold a hand just a moment longer and let someone know that I am truly blessed by their love.

My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid. John 14:27

Peace,

Denis

P.S. My friend Joyce shared this beautiful song with me, offering me her peace.

Following Yonder Star

/ Denis Wilhelm / 2 Comments

When Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea,
in the days of King Herod,
behold, Magi from the east arrived in Jerusalem, saying,
“Where is the newborn king of the Jews?
We saw his star at its rising
and have come to do him homage.” Matthew 2:1-2

I love the gospel story of the Epiphany. I imagine the Magi following the star and journeying through vast deserts on camelback to a distant land in search of a newborn king. And discovering their hearts’ desire in the most unexpected of places.

It has occurred to me that my “understanding” of the Magi hasn’t really changed much since I was a child. I’ve always pictured them as mystical and exotic; richly robed kings or emirs driven by an ‘unearthly desire’ to find Jesus. Did they know he was born in poverty? Did they know that he would change the world? Why were they driven to find him? And upon finding him in such humble surroundings why did they prostrate themselves as if he were a king? And why the gifts?  Why gold, frankincense, and myrrh?   

Three gifts were presented to Jesus, but the Matthew never tells us the number of Magi or whether they were men or women. Legend tells us they were three Kings named Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar, but they could as likely been astronomers. Early Christian art depicts the three men as coming from Europe, Asia, and Africa. And growing up my nativity set would show them likewise bearing their gifts – gold: a gift fit for a king; frankincense: which is burned during prayer; myrrh: which is a perfume most often associated with burial – a foreshadowing of Jesus’s death and suffering. Another tradition (brought to the U.S. by European immigrants) involves writing the initials of the three kings’ names above the main door of the home to confer blessings on the occupants for the New Year. For example, 20 + C + M + B + 24.

I still find comfort in the imagined Wise Men of my childhood – these three; certain of their mission; following yonder star without question; and knowing when they found the Christ-child that He was THE ONE.

But how do I relate to this ideal in my own life? Where is my certainty? Where is my mission? Where is my star? I think of how I sometimes miss the obvious – and maybe my star is burning brightly, and I just can’t see it. Perhaps my mission is to continue to question; to journey; to “look to the east”. Maybe I need to find my certainty in my own heart and soul. God has truly blessed me – what wonder do I seek to be assured of His love? 

This is the message from the Magi for me: it doesn’t really matter if they were kings or astronomers or men. They were immigrants. They were strangers in a land searching for the unknown. They journeyed in uncertainty. They let go of any preconceptions or expectations they might have had. And when they found him and looked into the eyes of a poor child, they understood, and they were changed.

How do I accept strangers into my life today; my home; my country? How do I open my heart when others seemed to be obsessed with building walls and strengthening borders? Jesus was born in the humblest of circumstances. How do I treat those who are living in poverty, in despair? Perhaps it’s time for me to prostrate myself before the immigrant, the poor, the desperate. Isn’t that the message of Jesus? Isn’t that what the Magi were truly following?

Perhaps my challenge is to stop trying to “make sense of it all” and just follow that yonder star.

Peace,

Denis

Let It Be

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

The angel said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore, the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God.” Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to your word.”

Often this passage from Luke’s Gospel conjures images of a submissive Mary. A young woman who is overwhelmed and helpless to understand what is being asked of her. Certainly, Mary would have not expected a visit from an angel, and she probably was startled by the announcement. But to me, her response is not that of a weak or frightened child but instead that of a strong woman who appears steadfast in her convictions. Mary believed in God. Mary allowed God to work through her without hesitation. Perhaps she understood more than the Gospel tells us.

Any mother will tell you that the love of her child is primal and inexplicable. Mary’s love would have been no less than that of any mother. She would likely have been concerned about bringing a child into the politically turbulent world in which she lived, not to mention the very unconventional way that she found herself with child. And yet her love overshadowed any insecurities she may have had. Mary is a model for all of us. Mary took an active role in God’s plan. She wasn’t just a vessel. She didn’t just submit. She stood tall at His cradle and at His cross. And proved that love conquers all!

Christmas comes with hope of renewal. Christmas raises our expectations of peace and goodwill. Friends and families unite. Celebrations take place. Joy is proclaimed throughout the world.

But Christmas itself doesn’t end hunger, or war, or poverty, or terrorism, or racism, or homophobia or violence, or human trafficking, or all other injustices. Still, Christ comes at Christmas and we are reminded by Mary that if we believe in God and take an active role in His plan, we can bring peace to our world. Let it be me who takes a stand; performs a small act of kindness; who makes a small sacrifice for another. Let it be me who shares a smile; who speaks a kind word; gives a gentle touch. These things multiplied by the millions as we proclaim our Christmas joy will transform our world.

And so, I ask God, “Let it be” me who helps make a difference this year.

Peace,

Denis

Prepare the Way

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It’s easy to imagine that John the Baptist thought that he was the ‘only one’. The only one who knew what was coming. Maybe he was skulking around in the desert wearing animal skins because he was disgusted with the state of the world and the callous disregard of others. Or perhaps he was wandering around alone as a way to quiet himself enough to receive God’s message, but I’ll never quite understand why he ate locusts. Surely there was a better way to “prepare the way”.

Advent is a good time for me to stop trying to sort it all out and just accept what Jesus is asking of me. I try to quiet myself and listen to what is truly important. Mostly I fail. But sometimes Jesus shines through. Sometimes my heart is broken open enough to allow the love of God to fill my soul. And maybe that’s the point: the hurt, the despair, the loneliness, and the frustration that I feel when I look at all the sadness and madness in our world weakens me psychologically and spiritually. But when I am most vulnerable, when I feel alone in my anger and outrage, when I am broken, and crying out alone, I pray. And then Jesus helps me “prepare the way” in my heart and in my soul.

It’s messy. At times I feel powerless. And overwhelmed. I cry out “where are you God?” And then, I find strength in my friends and family. I find goodwill in my neighbors, and I find comfort in my faith community. I find love in those around me. I see Christ’s hands and feet in the countless folks who give so generously of their time, talent, and treasure to serve others. And I stop looking at others as “the others”.

Recently we prepared and served a meal at the Ronald McDonald House. It was a simple gesture to ease the suffering of the families whose children are hospitalized. As we were busy about our tasks, another group came in to “entertain” the children with decorating sugar cookies. Sadly, I was focused on “getting the job done” and paid little attention to those we were serving. And then, while we were cleaning up the kitchen, I noticed a young girl about 4 or 5 years old who obviously had multiple surgeries on her tiny hands. We learned that she was from Panama, and she spoke no English. She carefully decorated a cookie and with her one good hand presented it to one of our friends who had joined us for the evening. This little girl’s gentle offering was incredible. It was completely disarming. And a reminder that God is always with us.

Advent comes. And we prepare the way…

Peace,

Denis

The Weight

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Jesus said to the crowds: “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” Mt 11:28-30

The pop song “The Weight” was released in 1968 by The Band. The song takes place in Nazareth, where the singer encounters several colorful characters. The song’s writer, Robbie Robertson, has described it as something he threw together with no religious intent. Still, the lyrics do lead listeners to draw their own conclusions.

I pulled into Nazareth, was feelin’ about half past dead. I just need some place where I can lay my head.

“Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed?” He just grinned and shook my hand, and “No” was all he said.

Today would have been my father-in-law’s birthday. He grew up dirt poor in Southeast Missouri. He lived a hard scrabble life as a kid. He earned pocket money killing rats in the cotton and watermelon fields as young boy. He lived in his grandparents’ home when his mother couldn’t afford a place of their own, but he never complained about his upbringing. He never voiced any regrets. Pop carried his burdens privately, with grace and dignity.

Unfortunately, I lack the grace and humility that my father-in-law possessed. I cry out in pain when my burdens seem insurmountable. I curse when life doesn’t meet my expectations. I rail against real and perceived injustices. My disappointments, my heartaches, my failures become overwhelming. And I often fail to listen to Jesus’ words. In my selfishness and solitude, I often lack the empathy to feel others’ pain. Then I re-read this Gospel, and I am reminded that I can take comfort in knowing we can all find our rest. Whether we cry out in pain, or suffer in silence, we are assured that Jesus will carry our burdens. But here’s the catch: turning over our burdens to Christ requires that we carry the load for others as well. Jesus said, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me.” As Christians we’re called to follow Jesus’ example of love. Our burdens will be lessened as we join them with Jesus and help carry the load for others.

Take a load off (friend). And you put the load right on me.

“You will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

Peace,

Denis

Watching and Waiting

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Advent began yesterday, four weeks of preparation to celebrate Jesus’ birth and welcome His love into our lives. I often consider Advent to be a rather passive and reflective time. Longing and hoping and praying for Jesus’ incarnation. The Gospel message, “Be watchful! Be alert! You do not know when the time will come”, reminds us that Advent is a time of waiting.

We wait. We wait in joyful anticipation of a better world. We wait for peace and the end of violence in all forms. We wait for acceptance and inclusion of all people to the table. We wait for sustainability and the promise of an earth that will exist for our children and grandchildren. We wait for change in our political climate and discourse. We wait in hope.

But is waiting enough? What about being watchful and alert? We must open our eyes and our hearts to the inclusivity of Jesus and his teachings. For me that means “looking in the mirror”. How often have I rejected others with whom I disagree? How many times have I dismissed someone because of their appearance, beliefs, politics, age or sexuality? God did not create us to hate us. So why is it so easy for me to hate others who don’t align with me politically, intellectually or spiritually? Why are “my values” more valuable than theirs?

I re-read yesterday’s Gospel: “May he not come suddenly and find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to all: ‘Watch!’” There is my message. Wake up Denis! Stop finding ways to separate yourself from others. If I want inclusivity; I must include others (even the ones I can’t stand). If I want peace; I must give peace to everyone I encounter. If I want sustainability; I must model it for my children and my grandchildren. If I want reasonable and respectful political discourse; I must stand up for what I believe but take the time to listen to others as well.

I suppose that Advent is not such a passive time after all. Longing and hoping and praying for Jesus’ incarnation must include action. If I want the world to change, I must start with myself!

Peace,

Denis

Alleluias and Easter Bunnies

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

Throw open the shutters. Spring has arrived! Daffodils and tulips and the dogwood are blooming. Birds are singing. New life is in abundance!

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, the day in which Christians celebrate Jesus rising from the dead. As believers, our salvation is ‘a done deal’ if we choose the gift of His redemption. So churches will be filled to capacity.

We need the joy of Easter. It is a welcome balm that can ease the pain in our world. I for one, love the carnival atmosphere of Easter Sunday services. Kids dressed in itchy new Easter clothes, barely able to sit still because of all the candy that they have consumed before breakfast; beleaguered parents who rose before dawn to hide eggs and prepare baskets full of the candy for the aforementioned little darlings; folks who have not been to church in a while looking conspicuously out-of-place; ‘the regular-attenders’ barely able to conceal their annoyance of having to share their pew. We squeeze in and make room for all. And we love and forgive and ask for forgiveness for the times that we have failed to love. The Alleluias return!

Baked ham, lamb with mint jelly, hot cross buns, deviled eggs and asparagus will adorn our dining tables. Desserts will be rich and plentiful. And don’t forget the candy, surreptitiously snatched from the kiddies Easter baskets while they’re being distracted by yet another treat left behind by the Easter Bunny. Welcome home Springtime!

Some Christians are bothered by all the focus on the Easter Bunny, feeling that it diminishes the sanctity of Easter. After all what does a bunny who hides eggs and gives candy have to do with our Risen Savior? I’m not sure. But what difference does it make? Easter supplanted pre-Christian spring festivals and it doesn’t make it any less sacred to me.

I’ll welcome the Easter Bunny to hop into my backyard again this year and hide his (her) eggs and leave behind some treats. I’ll smell the sweet aroma of new flowers and tree blossoms. I’ll love and forgive and ask for forgiveness. I’ll eat too much and sing my Alleluias. And be thankful for it all.

Peace,

Denis

 “Why do you seek the living one among the dead?” Luke 24:5

Community Matters

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

I am blessed with an abundance of family and friends but still at times I want to be left alone.

There is escape in being alone. Being aloof and noncommittal can feel like freedom. Freedom from obligations. Freedom to do what I want to do. Freedom from other people’s misery. And sometimes I desperately long for that freedom. But freedom can lead to apathy and avoidance, and then I risk becoming insensitive to others’ needs.

This is why I am blessed to be in a community. A community of family and friends; a community of believers; a community of people who witness to me on a daily basis. I am constantly reminded that I need community. And I am strengthened and nourished by community. Community also allows me to share my limited gifts with others. I am humbled in knowing that I can bring goodness (God) to others.

Recently I learned of a father in our parish who suffered a stroke. His wife and young sons seem bewildered and are no doubt suffering immensely. As I stumbled to find a few words of comfort to offer to the mother, I saw a tiny glimpse of (relief?) (appreciation?) cross her troubled face. A small kindness that I couldn’t have offered her if we were not in community.

Two other young families of our parish have recently had babies. One family had their third daughter and they are delighted. I told the Daddy, with a wink, that raising three girls means that he “will get to go straight to heaven”. The other family had a set of twins which brings their brood to a total of five. I greet them each week and share in their joy and their exhaustion. We’ve taken them an occasional meal to ease their burden. What a blessing to be in community with them. These young families give me hope for our future.

In my small faith community, I have dear friend who has just received the gift of remission from her battle with cancer. I thank God and share in her joy! She is a testament to hopefulness and faith. She inspires me.

The tragic news of deaths and destruction due to tornadoes this week has been heartbreaking. But once again, I see communities coming together to help each other. The horrific news of yet another school shooting leaves me shaken and frightened. I have a daughter who is a teacher and five school-age grandchildren. How can we continue to watch as our babies are slaughtered? Once again, community steps in. We grieve the losses and bury the tiny bodies. On the saddest of days, I often want to pull the shades and climb under the covers, but I must use my voice and my vote. My letters to my senators and congressman may likely fall on deaf ears but I will continue to write, and protest, and vote! Because that’s what community does.

When my parents died, my community surrounded me with love and concern. We shared laughter and tears, and I could not have made it through those dark days without their hands to hold. When I retired last year, my community helped me navigate the uncertainty of life without a career. When my granddaughter was recently chosen “Mission Model” for her freshman class, because “she uses her voice for good and promotes human dignity”, my community shared my joy and pride in her accomplishment.

I am blessed to be part of a community who will carry me when I cannot walk, guide me when I am lost, and exalt with me in my days of jubilation. Being alone might feel like freedom, but my life has meaning when shared with others. Community matters.

Peace,

Denis