Family

Sweet Thirteen

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Today another grandchild becomes a teenager. I’m convinced that our Ainsley is the sweetest teenager you will ever meet. She has an uncanny ability shared by few. Call it grace. Call it charm. Call it serendipity. Call it what you like. I call it a gift, because you will always feel better after any encounter with her. She carries her own light within her wherever she goes. And she shares that light with you.

Ainsley is quiet and thoughtful. She approaches new experiences with curiosity and poise. She doesn’t demand attention. She doesn’t need to be the center of attention, but don’t underestimate her. At her tender age she has already earned a black belt in Taekwondo. She is a disciplined and accomplished student and has won awards for academics, singing and leadership at her school.

Navigating through the teenage years can be tough. New freedoms. New rules. New friends. New temptations. And lots of demands on kids’ time. Teenageville can be a scary place. But this little light of mine, she shines!

Ainsley has strong faith. She loves deeply. She gives selflessly. And when you encounter her, you will feel better. You will feel better about your day. You will feel better about yourself. You will feel better about this world.

There are days when I want her to stay innocent and tender and untouched by ugliness, sexism, misogyny, discrimination, and hatred. But we need her to become the strong, confident woman she is destined to be. Because we need the gift that Ainsley shares to be spread throughout this world.

Peace,

Denis

Forever Is Now

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

When our grandson was about 2 years old, we had a concrete step that was being replaced at the back of our house. The thing was heavy and wouldn’t easily break apart. Disposing of it was going to be a major challenge. So, I decided to place it on the terrace in our back garden. It was lugged up the hill and sort of tucked away in a private spot that no one really ever noticed. Grandson Noah and I decided that it was a perfect place for he and I to hide out from time to time while everyone else was busy being busy. Hence it became affectionately known as “The He-Man Hideout”. It was our special place.

Of course, our boy is hardly a boy anymore. Tomorrow, he turns sixteen. His world is full of high school hijinks, baseball, friends (and girlfriend), driving, technology, and all the other important and necessary teenage things. Soon college and career and adulthood will overwhelm his world.

He’s a loving grandson and he is good to me, but we haven’t spent any time in “The He-Man Hideout” in years. When Noah was a little guy, he truly believed that we were hidden from the outside world as we sat there side by side. Today the Hideout is not really needed. It has served its purpose. Now it remains a reminder of a time not so long ago when we had a special place to hatch our plans and prepare for our conquests. A place where our imaginations would carry us away. Questions were asked and answered. We had a place where we could share a laugh or a hug or a prayer. And we knew that our secrets were safe and secure.

“The He-Man Hideout” is still in our backyard, and it will remain there until the day I die. It is very likely that someday someone will look at that concrete step to nowhere and never understand the majesty of this holy place. They will only see its uselessness and absurdity, and they will never know that it carried us on countless imaginary journeys. To outsiders, it will be met with the same perplexity as Stonehenge or those tags on pillows that can only be removed by authorized personnel. But I will always cherish the memories of sitting on that step with my little man and discussing the mundane and the mysterious; the silly and the serious; the simple and the profound. And dreaming of our future.

I believe that Noah and I still have some amazing years ahead of us. We may not be sitting side by side on that little concrete step in the back garden, but we are together as much as his expanding world allows. As he continues to grow and he takes on this world, I hope that he knows that I’ll always have a special place ready whenever he needs to get away. And we can still share a laugh and a hug and a prayer.

Peace,

Denis

Hippity, Hoppity, Easter’s on its way!

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

The origins of the Easter Bunny are unclear, but he is mentioned in early German writings. The first edible Easter bunnies appeared in Germany in the 1800s and were made out of sugar and pastry. As a kid I often wondered what the Easter Bunny had to do with eggs. Polish folklore has the Virgin Mary offering eggs to the soldiers guarding Christ on the cross, as she begged them to be merciful, her tears left stains on the eggs. Eggs and bunnies and candy. There are so many conflicting images that all seem to converge at Easter in some pastel menagerie with chocolate and jellybeans thrown in for good measure.

Easter

I’ve read commentaries by some Christian writers complaining about the commercialization of Easter; how Easter is demeaned by the purchase of candy and greeting cards, etc. Easter-related spending in the United States is expected to reach about $25 billion in 2026, on everything from Easter candy to new clothes. But wasn’t Easter originally a pagan feast to celebrate spring? Painting and dying eggs pre-dates Christianity. It seems that early Christians just conveniently supplanted what was already a festival. Sort of, “Hey, we already have a party – let’s make it about Jesus!”

As a Christian, I’m not really bothered that Easter was formally a pagan feast day. I’m equally undisturbed with the Easter Bunny sharing the day that celebrates the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. If we find new life in Christ, why not celebrate the new life around us? And if you’re not a Christian, I still hope that you can enjoy a dyed egg and a chocolate bunny (or whatever means springtime to you). According to the National Confectioners Association’s survey 87% of people create an Easter basket for their kids. This just makes for happy kids. It needn’t diminish the importance of Easter. To the contrary, it should emphasize the joy we share. Why not “wear your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it?”

For Christians this is our Holy Week. This is the most sacred time in our Church calendar. We celebrate and remember the passion and death of Jesus. We begin this week with Palm Sunday and continue through Holy Thursday and Good Friday, as we journey with Jesus to the cross. On Saturday at the Easter Vigil, we celebrate His rising anew. Through His death and resurrection, we are saved!

This year I’ve decided that instead of being annoyed with the secularization of Easter, I will embrace the world that God has given us. Whether I encounter those who are thankful for a Savior or folks who are just thankful for spring weather, I will try to share their joy. As some of my friends celebrate Passover and others are looking forward to a long weekend, why create conflict? Instead of looking for something to be angry about or focusing on our differences I will try to bring peace and reconciliation to those I meet.

I believe that God created a world big enough for all of us. So I’ll be singing Alleluia on Easter and later if I spy a bunny in my garden or a jellybean should find its way to me, so much the better.

Peace,

Denis

He is not here, for he has been raised just as he said. Matthew 28:6

 

Ever Ancient – Ever New

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

During this school year, my wife and I have been invited to join the monthly “Grandparents’ Mass and Rosary” at our grandson’s high school. Any grandparent who can attend is welcomed. Each gathering consists of a mass, the recitation of the rosary and a grandparent’s blessing. After mass and rosary, we are then joined by our grandson for a brief visit. What a joy and blessing to share time with him at his school and get to take a peek into his world.

The word rosary comes from Latin and means a garland of roses, the rose being one of the flowers traditionally used to symbolize the Virgin Mary. Most people, Catholics and non-Catholics alike, are aware that a rosary is a strand of beads and has some prayerful significance. The Catholic Church considers the rosary a “sacramental”. Other examples of sacramentals include blessings, holy water and medals. They are merely intended to enhance the spiritual life of the faithful and may have more cultural significance for some than others. Sacramentals are not a requirement of our Church, but they are traditions with which many find comfort. The beads on a rosary signify different prayers, but the “Hail Mary” is the most prominent. Typically, it is repeated 53 times while praying a rosary. All Catholic school children learn this prayer, and most can recite it from memory. It’s an ancient prayer imploring Jesus’ mother Mary to pray for us and all those in need of God’s mercy, especially those near death. 

I love the “Hail Mary” because it’s easy to remember, but mostly because it harkens back to the days when most people were uneducated and yet were still able to implore God’s mercy with this simple prayer. I imagine my ancestors praying the same words that I repeat today. Recently, while attending mass and holding my dad’s rosary, I felt generations of believers joining me in my devotion. I thought of their journeys of faith, and I want to believe that they were praying with me and for me. All of us together asking Our Blessed Mother to be with us in our times need and to intercede on our behalf.

So today I pray for my grandchildren, my children, my wife, my siblings, my friends and all those who have gone on before me. There is comfort in knowing that my simple prayer is being joined by countless others through the centuries. It is powerful, this prayer that is ever ancient – ever new!

Truth be told, I always thought of praying the rosary as kind of an ‘old person’ thing. I guess the time has arrived.

Peace,

Denis

The angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary. And coming to her, he said, “Hail, full of grace! The Lord is with you.” Luke 1:26-28

Saint Joseph Pray for Us

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

Today is the Feast of Saint Joseph. As a father, I have a strong devotion to Joseph – the patron saint of all fathers. I have been blessed with three incredible children. I realize that I’m not in their league in terms of intelligence, ability, and achievement. And yet, God decided to bless me with these three.

I rely on Saint Joseph to help me. He knew the overwhelming responsibility of fatherhood. He understood that the love of a father is so strong and yet at the same time so tender it cannot be described in mere words. He certainly must have felt ill-equipped, at times, to deal with Jesus. I could write volumes about my ineptitude as a father. I take for granted that my children understand that they are in my heart so deeply that every day I am blessed by their very existence. But I’m not sure I always show them by my actions. Sometimes no matter how hard I try – I fail. I do the wrong thing. Or I behave unkindly. Or forget to say, “I love you”. God gave me Saint Joseph to reach out to when I make a mess of things.

We know little about Joseph. We know that he had doubts. We also know that he said yes. He protected Mary and Jesus. Joseph is often depicted as an old man. But I believe Joseph was young when Jesus was born like I was when my kids came along. A worker. A teacher. A companion. A dad. Frightened but courageous. Ill-prepared but undaunted. Beleaguered but unrelenting. He must have had a sense of humor. I’d like to think that Jesus laughed at Joseph’s “dad jokes”.

My prayers always include my children and my grandchildren but while asking God to protect them, I sometimes forget to thank God. So, thank you God! You did a great job creating these beautiful humans. God, thanks for letting me have a hand in it, too. And thanks especially for giving me St. Joseph as a model of fatherly love, patience, and devotion.

Peace,

Denis

Saint Joseph, pray for us (and especially me)!

These Things Are True

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

In his book Are You Good Enough Yet? Father Joe Kempf writes, “You deserve to know that you are safe, you are loved, your life matters, and you are good enough just as you are. Because these things are true.”

I’m a natural born worrier. I worry about my friends who are battling illness or struggling with grief. I worry about my son (who I believe requires constant worry). I worry about our community, our nation, our world. I worry about my grandchildren; those precious souls who I’m certain will face disappointment or heartache or worse. I worry that others don’t worry enough. And my greatest fear is that I’m not a good enough worrier to deal with any of this.

My Mom used to say, “You can worry about 10 things and 9 of them will never happen and the one that does won’t be as bad as you think”. That was rich, coming from the woman who instilled fear and worry in me. In my mind I would often reply, “Unless of course it happens to you, Mom!”

So, I’ve become a “stoic” worrier. A “closet” worrier. A “put on a brave face” worrier. “Smile through the pain” worrier. “Stiff upper lip” worrier. “Hide your crazy” worrier. “Just get on with it” worrier. “No one needs to know” (and probably doesn’t care) worrier.

But what am I afraid of? I’m pretty sure that I’m mostly afraid of losing control. Which is amusing because I have never truly been in control of anything (including myself most days). Plans have been made and derailed in an instant. Dreams have been dashed. Batteries have died. Plumbing has failed. Power has gone out. Promotions have been denied. Jobs have been lost. Savings have been depleted.

In the arms of some of my Angels

Through it all, I’ve never been abandoned. I’ve never been alone. God has never left my side. And in my darkest hours God has sent his angels. My wife. My children. My grandchildren. My siblings. My friends. What a gift knowing that they are with me on this journey. Sometimes it only takes hearing a loved one’s voice to put my mind at ease. I am not alone.

I had a dear uncle whose prayer was that he would live one day longer than his spouse so that he could take care of her until the end. I share that prayer. It sounds virtuous but it’s really a little bit selfish because I can’t bear the thought of life without my wife. Uncle Ted didn’t meet that goal, as he died a few months before his beloved Sha. But you know what? She was taken care of until the end. He set an amazing example for all of us to follow. She was never alone. Things (even stuff that didn’t matter that much) were taken care of. And she passed peacefully and I believe she was welcomed home into Ted’s loving arms.

So perhaps my prayer should be, “Dear God, please make sure that Debbie is not alone and that someone takes the trash out, mows the lawn and cleans the gutters“. It’s not poetic but it gets to the point. One less thing to worry about…

Thanks, Father Joe for reminding me that I am safe. I am loved. My life matters. And I am good enough. These things are true. And I need to let go of my fear and stop worrying. God, please keep sending your angels.

Peace,

Denis

She Colors My World

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

My wife Debbie and I got married when we were young, and had no idea of what might lie ahead. We were a couple of small-town kids in love and that seemed like enough to get us through. Lots of people felt obliged to tell us that it would never work out and that we were making a big mistake. I smile to myself when I remember the naysayers. Of course, it hasn’t always been easy, but true love never is. Our marriage has survived and thrived. We have had grand adventures beyond our imaginations, and quiet moments that are heartbreaking in their simplicity and remarkable beauty. We have faith in one another and in a God who has carried us through it all.

It has been the honor and delight of my life to be hand in hand with this amazing woman for over 50 years. Deb makes up for all of my shortcomings. She reminds me to slow down and savor the important things in life. She models tolerance (I’ve given her many opportunities) and compassion (she loves unconditionally and I have been the fortunate recipient of that grace). I’m color-blind, so she not only makes sure that my clothes match, but she also fills every part of my world with brilliant, vivid color. She has this incredible gift of making you feel that when she’s with you, no one else is more important or more needed at that moment than you. You have her undivided attention. She gives herself entirely. Just ask her children, grandchildren, and countless friends.

And as for me, well when she walks into the room it’s like everyone else fades into the background. All the light in the space seems to be emanating from her. She just gets to me. She makes me want to be a better man and someone who is deserving of this love we share.

Today is our 51st wedding anniversary. We’ve beaten the odds, been blessed beyond our dreams, and every day she fills my world with color that only a color-blind man can see.

Peace,

Denis

The Weary World Rejoices

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

I awoke this morning recalling a time several years ago right before Christmas with my baby grandson. Apparently, everyone else had last minute things to attend to, and Noah and I were left at home alone. I held him in my arms, and he drifted off to sleep. My heart still swells with joy as I remember those precious moments. Feeling his tiny heartbeat against my own, hearing his gentle breathing, and smelling his baby sweetness, I was humbled by his presence in my life. I wanted to stay wrapped up in that moment forever. As I was embracing Noah, God was embracing me.

While we welcome Baby Jesus with triumphant hymns and celebrations, somewhere a mother is mourning the loss of her own child. Disease, poverty, racism and injustice ravage our society. Christmas itself won’t end hunger, or war, or poverty, or terrorism, or racism, or homophobia or violence, or human trafficking, or all other injustices. Millions will go to bed hungry tonight. Millions more will have no place to lay their head. Others will be at war or surrounded by violence. Others are imprisoned by drug addiction, domestic abuse, neglect or alcoholism.

Still, Jesus comes amidst our joy and sorrow, our triumphs and disappointments. He comes to be with us. He will embrace our joy and our pain.

Christmas comes with the hope of renewal. Christmas raises our expectations of peace and goodwill. If we believe in God and take an active role in His plan, we can bring peace to our world. We can take a stand; perform an act of kindness; make a small sacrifice for another. We can share a smile; speak a kind word; give a gentle touch. I believe that kindness, multiplied by millions as we proclaim our Christmas joy, can transform our world. Ram Dass is credited with saying, “When all is said and done, we are all just walking each other home.”

My wish is that you all can recall some “Baby Noah moment” in your life and be sustained by the comfort that God is with you while you are walking one another home.

Peace,

Denis

All Is Calm

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

In December of 1973, while in college, I was working part-time at a Venture Store. Venture was a big box discount store. As you can imagine, during the weeks before Christmas the store was always busy, and customers were increasingly demanding. Folks were scrambling to grab the latest gadget or toy and at times the scene at Venture could best be described as frenzied. When customers discovered that the “Specially Advertised” merchandise was sold-out, they could turn downright nasty.

It was in this cacophony of ringing cash registers, blue light specials, and loud-speaker announcements that I discovered her. There she was with tears streaming down her face. It was the girl from the Health and Beauty Aids Department. I didn’t know her well, but she was cute and always friendly, and no one deserved to be that upset. I was certain that some jerk-ass customer had yelled at her and I was ready to hunt them down and give them a piece of my mind. After all, who needed this lousy job?

When I approached her and asked, “What’s the matter?” She said, “Don’t you hear it?” Puzzled, I asked, “Hear what?” “Listen!”, she said. And I did. Ever so faintly amidst the noise of weary shoppers, screaming kids, and the umpteenth Public Address Announcement, I heard the strains of the Muzak version of “Silent Night”. Before I could ask her why on earth that would make her cry, she told me that she loved the song and it touched her heart and that Christmas was her favorite time of year. She assured me that her tears were really tears of joy. Her tenderness, her serenity and her beauty filled that space.  

I was speechless. And right there in that busy, crowded, awful discount store she brought Christmas to me. She gave me peace. She brought me to Bethlehem. And for the first time, I truly understood that I have a Savior.

I will never forget that night or that girl or that beautiful moment.

Be watchful! Be alert! You do not know when the time will come. Mark 13:33

Peace,

Denis

P.S. That was over 50 years ago and lucky me married that beautiful girl from Venture’s Health and Beauty Aids Department. Our children and grandchildren can attest to the fact that she stills cries whenever she hears Silent Night.

All is calm; all is bright!

In All Circumstances Give Thanks

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

Saint Paul urges us to give thanks in all circumstances. Sometimes that’s a tough nut to crack.

Years ago, my spirituality group was encouraged to list our blessings and to reflect on what matters most to us. I was the only one who didn’t mention God. Not that I didn’t think that God was important, I just didn’t single him (her) out. Instead, I chose to list experiences for which I was and will always be thankful. In retrospect, I realize that God’s hand is in all of it. That’s kind of how God and I operate. We tend to sneak up on one another. I’m not a “God is My Co-Pilot” kind of guy. I’m more of a “Hey God, you still out there?” “Remember me?” “Help me!” “Wow God, thank you!” kind of guy. And God is like, “Yeah, I got this.” “And you’re welcome”.

So, I thank God for all my blessings: My beautiful wife, who never gives up on me, who keeps me grounded and makes me a better man; my kids, who never grow tired of me and who remind me that I did my best even when I was running on empty; my grandchildren, who never cease to amaze me and who allow me to see into the future through their love, energy, devotion, and kindness; my siblings and my cousins, with whom I share a history and who have never abandoned me. I am thankful for my family.

I am thankful for everyone that I’ve met on this journey of life. Especially those persons with whom I can bare my soul. We carry one another’s burdens, share one another’s joys, wipe away one another’s tears, and celebrate one another’s triumphs. We live in an imperfect world, but we are perfected by the love that we share. Bad things happen, but those things do not have to define who we are. We measure our worth in the joy we find each day. I am thankful for my friends.

My prayers of praise and supplication and thanksgiving often feel like fleeting thoughts (never fully formed or well-articulated). Still, I believe that God listens to my prayers – poorly formed and selfish as they may be. I pray and God listens. I cry and God hears me. I try and God accepts my humble efforts. I am thankful for my faith.

When I think of all the goodness in my life, at times I feel undeserving. But mostly, I am humbled. Why have I been so blessed? How can I begin to thank God for all I have been given? Who am I to have received so much? I am thankful for God’s mystery.

This Thanksgiving, I will rejoice again for all that is good (and try to understand and accept the not-so-good stuff, too). I will give thanks today and continue to work on the ‘always’ part.

And I will keep on singing.

Peace,

Denis

Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances, give thanks. 1 Thes 5:16-18