Christ

May I have a seat at this table?

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Mass began on Sunday with the hymn “All Are Welcome In This Place“.  I love this song and I truly felt welcomed and joyful. But not for long…

TableOur transitional deacon (he plans to be ordained next year) was the homilist. Like many of the newer priests and deacons this guy is an ultra-conservative. He took it upon himself to “set the record straight” on the recent Synod on Family taking place in Rome. This synod is a big deal (or should be) for Catholics. Pope Francis convened the bishops of the world to discuss the Church’s teachings on matters such as divorce, same-sex marriage, family planning, in-vitro fertilization and euthanasia. Initial press reports indicated, in my opinion, some much needed reform. Our young deacon felt the need to explain that the media had distorted the message of the synod and launched into a diatribe about abortion and marriage. No mention was made of the Church’s stance on capital punishment or preference for the poor, instead he only focused on sexual sin. He affirmed that NO CHANGE IN CHURCH DOCTRINE WOULD EVER HAPPEN. Because we live in a upper middle-class community in a very conservative state, most in attendance seemed to be comforted by his words. I was not.

I couldn’t help but think of the countless couples in our church being denied communion because of divorce and remarriage. My heart broke for those members of our parish who are gay or lesbian – once again being made to feel that they are not worthy. And what of the parents and friends in our parish community who have loved ones no longer welcomed? Instead of reaching out to us, with the love of Christ, this deacon took an opportunity to remind us of THE RULES.

So while we were all singing, “Built of hopes and dreams and visions, rock of faith and vault of grace; Here the love of Christ shall end divisions”, this deacon was no doubt mulling over just how he was going to impress upon us that we are indeed divided, and that we should put aside any hopes and dreams and visions of a loving, all-inclusive Church. This made me very sad. And I am especially sad for this soon-to-be priest. How will he ever shepherd, if he is blind to so many in his flock?

At the conclusion of the Synod on the Family, Pope Francis warned some in the hierarchy, “(There is) a temptation toward hostile inflexibility, that is, wanting to close oneself within the written word, and not allowing oneself to be surprised by God, by the God of surprises; within the law, we remain within the certitude of what we know and not of what we still need to learn and to achieve.”

Maybe someday I’ll get a seat at the table where we’re all welcome. I love the God of surprises!

Peace,

Denis

Just Be…

/ Denis Wilhelm / 2 Comments

Recently I posted on this blog that I joined a spiritually based group that is in partnership with The Sisters of The Most Precious Blood. We are a small group, one of many groups actually, who are partners with the Sisters. Our mission is to be a reconciling presence in our world. Part of that “reconciling presence” involves prayer, another part involves service, and most significantly it involves community.

We are joined together with a common goal: To love as Jesus loves. Sounds easy, right? Wrong!

Helping handsLoving is difficult. At times it’s even hard to love the people who love us. It’s ALWAYS hard to love our enemies. And it’s often harder to be loved. I realize that occasionally I can be pretty unlovable (just ask the people who work for me). Besides being loved means opening up and making yourself accessible to others – that can get messy. So how do I get busy about this business of loving?

I’m learning from the leaders of Partners in Mission that I should stop trying to “do love”. I need to start trying to “be love”. Activities are great. Service to others is admirable and necessary but until I make myself available to others my actions will never be enough. Love is not about busyness. Love is about being present to those around me. And perhaps that’s the scary part. That’s what makes me vulnerable. Just being.

So before I get busy trying to “do love” I’m going to follow the advice of the leaders that I met: first Be, then Do.

Today I read, “Peace is made when there is a place where the stories of the wounds can be told in safety and security, when the stories and the people who tell them are given dignity and respect.” I believe that right now I need to help build that place and then maybe later I can “do” some love. It could get messy but I think it might be worth it. I’ll keep you posted.

Peace,

Denis

 

Reconciling

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

On Sunday I made a commitment to be a reconciling presence in our world. What does that mean? Truth be told, I’m not completely certain.

Let me explain: After a year of inquiry and another year of formation I have joined the Sisters of the Most Precious Blood as a lay partner. That probably requires further explanation – the “Sisters” are a Catholic religious order dedicated to bringing the reconciling love of Jesus to our world through prayer, service and most notably presence. As a partner, I join in their ministry in some small way. I have made a promise to pray with the Sisters, be part of a small faith group and (in my words) be an agent of change.

ReconcileThe change of course must begin with me. To reconcile means to rebuild; reconnect; to be at peace. I suppose a lofty goal would be to rebuild a broken world but I will have to start a bit more modestly. I’ll try to be more loving; to be a peacemaker; to give respect and dignity to those that I encounter.

This will not be easy. And I will fail more often than I succeed. There will be plenty of days when I will be impatient and unloving. There will be times when I will be an ornery son-of-a-gun. Arrogance, pride and ill temper will impede me. But I will try. And I will fail. And try again.

I believe if I can change my heart and reconcile myself, the rest will be easy. God has blessed me with some amazing examples of love. This is unchartered territory for me but with the beacons of love and hope represented in Mary, Bernie, Helen, Sister Robert Ann, and Sister LaVerne, I think that we might accomplish some great things along the way.

And so my journey continues…

Peace,

Denis

What About The Unholy?

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. Matthew 16:24

This was part our Sunday readings at Mass this week.  There are any number of ways to reflect on Jesus’ words of caution to Peter in Matthew’s Gospel. The seminarian (priest in-training) at our parish decided to tell us about his personal experience of giving up his potential material success to follow God’s call. He seemed (to me anyway) to be holding himself up as an example of sacrifice. He could have so much more (wife, kids, home & hearth) but instead he’s going to be a priest. Of course because of my cynical nature I’m always a bit suspect of anyone who tells me how much they sacrifice; how holy they are; how worthy they are; etc., etc., etc.

CrossI have been bothered by this message since Sunday. I can’t be a priest. Nor would I want to be. I’m kind of plodding along in my sinfulness as best I can. When I read Matthew’s Gospel and think about “denying myself” I don’t really think that Jesus is saying that I should give up all my stuff and live on the streets. And most of the priests that I know have comfortable housing, full-time cooks, housekeepers, gardeners and laundresses. That’s hardly sacrifice in my book. But I digress.

I’m unholy and I’m a mess most days but the message in Matthew’s Gospel for me is simple: Quit being so sinful. Stop being so selfish. Try to be more loving. Quit expecting more and giving less. Take up the cross of a crying baby in the middle of the night. Take up the cross of a disloyal friend or family member. Take up the cross of an angry customer or boss or employee. Take up the cross of a neglected/neglecting spouse. Take up the cross of a (nearly) unlovable teenager. Take up the cross of poor health. Take up the cross of financial hardships. Take up the cross of disappointments and heartaches. Carry those crosses and still love God. Carry those crosses and still love your neighbor. Carry those crosses and still love yourself.

And follow Jesus…

Peace,

Denis

 

 

Good Friday

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Our six year-old granddaughter Anna was retelling what she knows about the story of Jesus’ passion and death. Her three year-old brother Noah said, “Anna, I don’t like this story. It’s scary!” Her reply: “Wait Noah, it has a happy ending!”

This is a somber day for most Christians as we contemplate Christ’s ultimate sacrifice for us. As we join our suffering with His, let us never forget that there is indeed a happy ending.

Peace,

Denis

 

 

Hippity Hoppity, Easter’s On Its Way

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

The origins of the Easter Bunny are unclear, but he is mentioned in early German writings. The first edible Easter bunnies appeared in Germany in the 1800s, and were made out of sugar and pastry. As a kid I often wondered what the Easter Bunny had to do with eggs. Polish folklore has the Virgin Mary offering eggs to the soldiers guarding Christ on the cross, as she begged them to be merciful, her tears left stains on the eggs. Eggs and bunnies and candy. There are so many conflicting images that all seem to converge at Easter in some pastel menagerie with chocolate and jelly beans thrown in for good measure.

EasterRecently I’ve read commentaries by some Christian writers complaining about the commercialization of Easter; how Easter is demeaned by the purchase of candy and greeting cards, etc. In 2013 the average consumer spent $145.13 on everything from Easter candy to new clothes. But wasn’t Easter originally a pagan feast to celebrate spring? Painting and dying eggs pre-dates Christianity. It seems that early Christians just conveniently supplanted what was already a festival. Sort of, “Hey, we already have a party – let’s make it about Jesus!”

As a Christian, I’m not really bothered that Easter was formally a pagan feast day. I’m equally undisturbed with the Easter Bunny sharing the day that celebrates the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. If we find new life in Christ, why not celebrate the new life around us? And if you’re not a Christian, I still hope that you can enjoy a dyed egg and a chocolate bunny (or whatever means springtime to you). According to the National Confectioners Association’s survey 87% of people create an Easter basket for their kids. This just makes for happy kids. It needn’t diminish the importance of Easter. To the contrary, it should emphasize the joy we share. Why not “wear your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it?”

For Christians this is our Holy Week. This is the most sacred time in our Church calendar. We celebrate and remember the passion and death of Jesus. We begin this week with Palm Sunday and continue through Holy Thursday and Good Friday, as we journey with Jesus to the cross. On Saturday at the Easter Vigil we celebrate His rising anew. Through His death and resurrection we are saved!

This year I’ve decided that instead of being annoyed with the secularization of Easter, I will embrace the world that God has given us. Whether I encounter those who are thankful for a Savior or folks who are just thankful for spring weather, I will try to share their joy. As some of my friends celebrate Passover and others are looking forward to a long weekend, why create conflict? Instead of looking for something to be angry about or focusing on our differences I will try to bring peace and reconciliation to those I meet.

I believe that God created a world big enough for all of us. So I’ll be singing Alleluia on Easter and later if I spy a bunny in my garden or a jellybean should find its way to me, so much the better.

Peace,

Denis

 

Stand

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Today is Ash Wednesday and so starts my Lenten journey. Bring on the sackcloth and ashes; bring on the fasting and purging of excess! Take away the adornments and the Alleluia! Strip the altar bare and forego the glad tidings. Time to embrace suffering, loss, and sadness! REPENT!

But wait a minute. Didn’t Jesus bring us the “Good News”? Why must my journey through Lent be dismal? Why must these 40 days be all doom and gloom? Following the rules of fasting and abstinence doesn’t mean my Lenten journey must be joyless – does it? I suppose due to a healthy dose of Catholic guilt I’ve always felt bad about enjoying things a little too much during Lent. But thanks to my grandson Noah, this year will be different for me. Jesus said, “Bring the little children to me” so therefore I’m a big believer in three year-old wisdom.

This is what Noah taught me:

Last Sunday at Mass the choir was singing “Stand By Me” and of course the refrain repeats “stand by me” several times. During this hymn Noah launched into a sort of free-flowing liturgical dance (this boy loves music!). Anyway, I quietly suggested that he take a seat next to me. In a very loud and emphatic three year-old voice he told me, “But them just say-ded STAND BY ME!”

And he proudly stood. Rightly so.

Noah standing and singing!

Noah standing and singing!

By Noah’s example it occurred to me that standing (or dancing) or whatever joy we feel shouldn’t be diminished because of “what we should do”. God gives us joy to share with others; love is only love when given away. Lent shouldn’t just be about ‘giving up’ but also about ‘letting go’. Letting go of my preconceptions of what is right or wrong; what is worthy or unworthy; what is vital and what is unnecessary.

So this year I will reflect and pray and atone but I will not be sad. I will carry joy in my heart and I will STAND (and with Noah’s help I might even dance a little).

I hope that your spiritual journey this Lenten season is filled with hope, love and peace. But mostly joy!

When you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden. And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.                      Matthew 6:17-18

Peace,

Denis

And Still He Comes…

/ Denis Wilhelm / 2 Comments

As Christmases go, I’ve had better ones. Granddaughter Anna got sick on Christmas Eve which ended the celebration early for her and little brother Noah and her parents. As Anna and Noah were whisked away my heart ached for them (and me). No five year-old wants to be sick on Christmas; no grandfather wants to see his little angel sad on Christmas Eve.

Moments earlier I had received a message that my wife’s cousin had lost her battle with cancer. I decided that I would wait until later to gently break that sad news to Deb. And just the day before we had received word that our friends’ Dad had passed away.

This was not the Christmas that I had planned. I HAD PLANNED? Therein lies the absurdity. Once again I was reminded that I am not in charge. All the planning, all the hoping, all the deliberation about this gift or that, what food to prepare, what to wear, seemed silly when I finally put everything in perspective. Because still He comes.

Jesus comes amidst our joy and sorrow; our triumphs and disappointments. He comes to be with us. God is with us.

Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel, which means “God is with us.” Matthew 1:23

We learned later that our friends’ family shared their traditional Christmas Eve gathering in honor of their Dad. Deb’s cousin’s family gathered together as well – first at the hospital and then at home; embracing one another and carrying on as Mom would have wanted.

Charlise Anna Noah AinsleyAnd Anna? Well she felt a little puny on Christmas Day but I believe that Santa lifted her spirits. And yesterday she was able to exchange gifts and share hugs and giggles with her cousins and little brother. Her upset belly seemed to be a distant memory.

This Christmas, even in our sorrow and in our loss, we have so much for which to be thankful – the love of friends and family; the joy of children in our midst.  

And in it and through it all, still He comes…

Peace,

Denis

Anticipation

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

In some strange way, I always have enjoyed the hustle-bustle of Christmas anticipation. Not the desperate “must find something!” gift search, but our last-minute preparations:

  • Wrapping the last gifts
  • Cleaning the house and putting up the final Christmas decorations
  • Queueing up our favorite Christmas music
  • Planning the holiday meals and purchasing the food and the wine

I find comfort in these rituals. This is what I do. This is how I prepare. I anticipate Christmas by getting things done. I am proactive.

AdventwreathBut sometimes I’m afraid that I miss out on some golden moments by working too hard; planning too much; preparing for something that won’t meet my expectations. When our children were young they would ask me what I wanted for Christmas. My answer was always the same, “A clean house and good kids.” This was most often greeted with rolled eyes and a groan. Of course I was mostly joking but still there was some truth in my wish.

And yet when I look back on my fondest Christmas memories it has nothing to do with a perfect house or well-behaved children. It has always been those things that I didn’t anticipate that brought me the greatest joy. And this year is no exception:

  • Receiving a kiss on my cheek from my sweet Noah Boy while attending the ‘Novena’ at our local convent this week without prompting.
  • Our grown son Blake unexpectedly being able to secure time off from work and be with us with for Christmas.
  • An impromptu evening with my brother and sister-in-law; sharing laughs and good memories.

Of course there are other unexpected things this year:

  • My friend and spiritual director who is dealing with horrific pain while awaiting back surgery; which will hopefully “fix her” again.
  • A beloved cousin battling cancer and kidney failure.
  • Our dear friends’ Dad who will be receiving hospice care beginning tomorrow.

I cannot think of three people more deserving of a peaceful and pain-free Christmas. It is heart-breaking to think that these three should suffer when we are preparing for the ultimate joy in the birth of Our Savior.

The virgin shall conceive, and bear a son,
and shall name him Emmanuel. Isaiah 7:14

And yet I find comfort in these unexpected ‘gifts’ this year; good and bad. I know that it is our faith in God in which we find our peace; our joy.

Today as we light the fourth candle on our Advent wreath my prayer will simply be, “Come Lord Jesus!”

Peace,

Denis

Rejoice, rejoice!

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Rejoice, rejoice; Emmanuel shall come to thee O Israel!

RejoiceIt’s the third week of Advent and we light our pink candle. Our focus this week is on hopefulness and joyful anticipation. We still wait but without sadness or despair. Instead we know that Christ’s coming is near.

In this family joyful anticipation is resounding! Our three year-old grandson Noah knows that Christmas is coming. Last night he showed me that Jesus is already in his Fisher-Price Little People® nativity but he explained, “He’s not in the real one until Christmas; we just have to wait!”

Noah is our little Isaiah; reminding us about the coming Christ – Emmanuel. We can be excited but we must wait.

The desert and the parched land will exult;
the steppe will rejoice and bloom.
They will bloom with abundant flowers,
and rejoice with joyful song. Isaiah 35:1-2

Of course there is much more joyful anticipation in our home; our two month-old granddaughter Ainsley is coming for a visit this weekend (and bringing her parents along). Nine year-old Charlise and five year-old Anna and of course three year-old Noah will be joining in the Christmas celebrations next week! There will be family gatherings and gift-giving and wonderful food and music and laughter and in the center of it all will be the Baby Jesus safely tucked in his crèche.

So we wait. And we prepare. And Christmas comes again; in our home and in our hearts.

O come, Desire of nations, bind in one the hearts of all humankind; Bid thou our sad divisions cease, And be thyself our Prince of Peace.

Peace,

Denis