Commentary

Keep Calm and Carry On

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Keep Calm and Carry On was a poster produced by the British government in 1939 during the beginning of World War II intended to raise the morale of the British public under the threat of impending invasion. It was produced as a prototype and never used. The poster was rediscovered in 2000 and has been re-printed and sold commercially ever since. I recently saw it for the first time in my colleague’s office in  England. 

I think “Keep Calm and Carry On” may need to become my new motto. I certainly need to “calm the hell down” as has been suggested by those who shall remain nameless. And we must always “carry on”. Even in our darkest hours; we must carry on! It seems that I’ve been “carrying-on” for sometime now but “to carry on” means something else entirely I’m told.

Very British this idea of calm and deliberate forward progress. Stiff upper lip and all that. I like the idea of being undeterred; to remain steadfast in our pursuits and mission. Too often it seems that I run away or give up when faced with set-backs or disappointments. Perhaps if I would just “Keep Calm and Carry On” I would find that these ‘minor detours’ in life are not insurmountable and may even be character building (but let’s not push it!). Regardless, instead of shrinking from my responsibilites, failures, or hardships the thought of soldiering-on seems noble.

I’m hoping (and praying) that the next time life sends some crap my way I will remember to “Keep Calm and Carry On” instead of burying my head in the sand or crying into my pillow. Very well then!

Peace,

Denis

Love’s Pure Joy!

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

Yesterday I got to meet my friend Sherry’s baby daughter. Just one day old. She is beautiful and Mama Sherry is awash in joy and happiness.

Roddia Sherie

Most babies are wanted. Most babies’ arrivals are highly anticipated. Most babies are excitedly welcomed into their families. But this little girl may be the most wanted, anticipated and welcomed baby I have ever known! She is a certainly a blessing to her parents and her family. And she will be celebrated as the miracle that she is. Praise God!

I was able to hold her yesterday at the hospital and like all newborns she is so precious and so beautiful. But it struck me while I was holding her that she is destined for greatness. I just had this overwhelming feeling that this little girl will change our world (not just Sherry’s and Rodney’s) and that her arrival is a sign of many more good things to come. What a welcome respite from the doom and gloom of the morning news. What a relief to know that good has once again triumphed over evil. Roddia is a hopeful and peaceful messenger of God’s love for us.  

Of course, Baby Roddia may not single-handedly bring about world peace or prevent hunger or cure cancer or stop global warming – but she might! She could be president someday. She most certainly will be grace-filled and beautiful. And her heart will overflow with love and kindness. That’s guaranteed – it’s in her DNA. Her “greatness” may be meaured in the small things that she does for others but her influence will reach beyond borders. Remember the words of Mother Theresa of Calcutta “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.” 

Sherry, thank you for letting me share your special joy. During those “hopeless times” I will remember holding Roddia and realize again that with God’s love all things are possible!

Peace,

Denis

Steve Martin in London (or not)

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Eat your heart out, Steve Martin!

I’ve been mistaken for (or have been told that I look just like) Steve Martin three times this week in London – fancy that! We say “fancy that” here in England and “bloody hell” – as if hell isn’t bad enough we have to make it bloody, too. We also say “cheers” and call each other “mate”. But I digress – back to Steve Martin or me looking like him anyway.

Truth be told, this has happened before; just not 3 times in 2 days and not in London (to be fair – I’m rarely here). It happens in New York and has also happened in L.A. and once or twice in Mexico City – Steve and I get around.

I get two kinds of Steve Martin reactions: the first is usually something like,”Excuse me sir, but you’re not by any chance…?” The second is more like “Has anyone ever told you that you look just like…?” I’ve had people in New York shout at me on the street, “Hey, Steve Martin!” – I usually just wave and smile. On occasion I get “Hey, you look like ‘what’s his name’; that actor; oh wait, it’ll come to me…” I sometimes respond to this with “Oh Brad Pitt, I get that all the time!” I’ve been known to substitute “Denzel Washington” or “Paul Newman” but Paul’s dead now so that seems wrong.

The occasional mistaken identity is kind of fun (and usually funny) but Steve Martin is about 10 years older than me, so I assume people think I look like a “young Steve Martin”. And the truly amusing thing is that folks are not afraid to approach me (him) and ask. Also it never seems to occur to them that Steve Martin probably isn’t just bumming around on the street (or the London Underground) or shopping at Wal-Mart® or pumping his own gas at Fast-Lane® or eating at Waffle House®. Steve Martin likely has an entourage – I would but that’s just me.

I’ll be honest; I like the recognition, even for a moment AND even if it’s not for me. I wonder how many times Steve has had to explain that “he’s really not Denis Wilhelm”? Sorry Steve, you can look like me but you can’t have my life – it’s all mine. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Peace,

Denis

Follow That Star

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

 When Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea,
in the days of King Herod,
behold, Magi from the east arrived in Jerusalem, saying,
“Where is the newborn king of the Jews?
We saw his star at its rising
and have come to do him homage.” Matthew 2:1-2

I love this gospel story of the Epiphany. I imagine the Magi (The Wise Men) following the star and journeying through vast deserts on camelback to a distant land in search of a newborn king. And discovering their hearts’ desire in the most unexpected of places.

It has occurred to me recently that my “understanding” of the Magi hasn’t really changed much since I was a child. I’ve always pictured them as mystical and exotic; richly robed kings or emirs driven by an ‘unearthly desire’ to find Jesus. Did they know he was born in poverty? Did they know that he would change the world? Why were they driven to find him? And upon finding him in such humble surroundings why did they prostrate themselves as if he were a king?  And why the gifts?  Why gold, frankincense, and myrrh?   

Legend and tradition tell us more:  The Three Kings (three gifts were presented but the Gospel never tells us the number of Magi) were named Caspar (or Gaspar), Melchior, and Balthasar. Early Christian art depicts the three men as coming from Europe, Asia, and Africa. And growing up my nativity set at home would show them likewise. Tradition also tells us the significance of the gifts – gold: a gift fit for a king; frankincense: which is burned during prayer; myrrh: which is a perfume most often associated with burial – a foreshadowing of Jesus’s death and suffering. Another tradition (brought to the U.S. by European immigrants) involves writing the initials of the three kings’ names above the main door of the home to confer blessings on the occupants for the New Year. For example, 20 + C + M + B + 11.

Okay so Debbie's a "Queen" and we're missing one of The Wise Guys, but you get the idea...

I still find some comfort in the imagined Wise Men of my childhood – these three; certain of their mission; moving toward the Star without question; and knowing when they found the Christ-child that He was THE ONE. 

But how do I relate to this ideal in my own life?  Where is my certainty? Where is my mission? Where is my star?

I think of how I sometimes miss the obvious – and maybe my star is burning brightly and I just can’t (or won’t) see it. Perhaps my mission is to continue to question; to journey; to “look to the east”.  Maybe I need to find my certainty in my own heart and soul.  God has truly blessed me – what wonder do I seek to be assured of His love? It’s likely (for me) that I need to look right here; right now.

There’s a message from the Magi for me today – they were immigrants. How do I accept strangers into my life; my home; my country?  Jesus was born in the most humble of circumstances. How do I treat those who are living in poverty; in despair? Maybe it’s time for me to prostrate myself before them. Isn’t that the message of Jesus? Isn’t that what the Magi were following?

This image of the Magi isn’t as “warm and fuzzy” as those cute little figures I remember under my tree as a kid. But perhaps my challenge is to follow a New Star. Now that’s a ‘New Year’s Resolution’ with some teeth – your prayers will help.

Peace,

Denis

P.S. Attached is a link to “A Child of the Poor”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEkdr62eVMY&feature=related

Prayer (and other questionable activities)

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

If you’re like me (hopefully you’re not) then you probably wonder sometimes if prayer makes any difference. There are those days when I feel as though my prayers are just empty words (thoughts) and then there are those days when I can’t even get myself to pray – why bother? The problems of the world just seem too overwhelming and my simple requests for peace; for justice; for equality; seem silly and selfish. Who am I to think (believe?) that God has time to listen to me? And what about those days when I’m not sure God exists? That can’t help my cause(s) –  if I’ve just questioned God’s existence only to follow-up with “okay if you do exist; here’s my list of stuff that needs to be your number one priority”.  What’s a struggling believer to do? 

For me – it’s more prayer.  Because I don’t know what else to do. That’s not exactly inspiring is it? And that’s probably because so often I don’t feel particularly inspired. But I pray. And if God does exist then She must have incredible patience. Lately I like to think of God as Maya Angelou or Sister Fidesta (my high school math teacher) – tough but gentle women with hearts of gold. The kind of God that won’t be shocked by my actions (or inactions) and who will take the time to listen (really listen) before showing me the error of my ways.

As I get older I find that I do remember to thank God for all my blessings but still my prayer life seems to be dominated by petitions – “take care of my wife; my kids; grandkids; friends in needs; the sick; the suffering; the dying; etc”.  Then there are the (sort of) secondary prayers – “please help me with work; with our finances; with my diet and exercise”.  Finally, my prayers often fall into the truly mundane or incredibly ridiculous – “please let the Packers make it to the playoffs or please let my favorite pair of jeans be clean” – God must really love those!

But I believe that God has a sense of humor (which would explain why men have nipples).  And God likely laughs at some of my crazy ramblings but still knows my heart and gives me what I truly need.  So I keep praying (and questioning) and hoping that my prayers make a difference. Often I do find that my prayers are answered; just not the way I wanted them to be. God knows best. That’s sometimes a tough thing to remember. And I guess that’s something else to pray for – understanding.

My prayer today is that each of you have a wonderful new year and remember to thank God (or at least your lucky stars) for your blessings.

Peace,

Denis

This song speaks to me…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPNv5bv0t40

Thankful

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

It’s December 26th and I’m thankful for another beautiful Christmas. I’m a little sad that it’s past but thankful, too – no more rushing around trying to get things ready or keep things moving. Now I can just savor the memories of the last few days and look forward to some future memories, too. This morning I’m thankful for so much. So in no particular order ~ here’s what I’m thanking God for today:

Deb whose love embraces our whole family (especially during the holiday) ~ you are my Christmas angel.

Snow that fell on Christmas Eve (all 2-1/2″ of it) that helped our son-in-law Travis relive happy childhood memories of snowy Christmases in Wisconsin.

Skype (that mystery in our computer) that allowed us to have Tyson “with us” for a while on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day even though he’s in Korea and lives 15 hours in the future. Stay safe Master Sergeant Bubby!

Anna in her “Christmas Princess Party Costume” AKA her Christmas dress because she kept asking to go “Trick or Treating” ~ I love 2 year-olds!

Charlise who was “playing piano” at her Great Aunt’s house in California when we spoke with her last night ~ her giggles were pure joy!

Noah with his sweet smile and little baby laugh ~ my sweet boy!

Noah and Pawpaw

Christmas Cookies (that Deb and Bess baked) and Egg Nog…

Bess who hosted the family gathering yesterday and was giving out orders while nursing Noah and wearing a shower cap because she’s a real multi-tasker. (Sorry Bess but that just had to make the blog!)

Blake because he managed to stay awake all day even though he’d only had about 3 hours sleep on Christmas Eve and an early flight to St. Louis on Christmas morning.

American Airlines for getting Blake here on time yesterday.

The Love that I received from my family and my new wool sweater that’s keeping warm this morning.

Time to share with family and friends and time to be thankful for both.

Hope you have time today to give thanks for your blessings today, too.

Peace,

Denis

Peace On Earth (or at least at home)

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

I pray for peace daily – and at Christmas we hear “peace on Earth; goodwill toward men!” proclaimed often in verse and song. But how do we achieve peace on Earth? Our son is currently serving in the Air Force in Korea while North and South Korea are “shaking their big sticks” at one another. So many peoople live in war-torn or impoverished nations. There is so much violence in our own nation’s cities. The hate-mongers seem to monopolize the airtime on cable news networks. So much sadness ~ so much despair. How can we achieve peace on Earth?

Let peace begin with me???  It’s a nice lyric but it seems too idealistic and unachievable.  I can’t even get along with my neighbors. And don’t get me started on most politicians; a lot of old people (my kids probably include me in this category); some clergy members; a few co-workers; and all bad drivers. And I’m certain that there are some days that Debbie would like me to go somewhere (anywhere) until I can return home in a better mood. 
 
So how do we achieve peace on earth? I guess (for me) I need to start at home. This Christmas season I will try (once again) to embrace the peace that Christ gives to us. I will love each of my family members and remind myself that they deserve the same patience and tolerance that they each afford me.

As I continue to grow spiritually I realize that peace doesn’t necessarily equate happiness or comfort. Peace is within each of us. Sometimes peace is tough (because we must face our fears and our own shortcomings) but it’s worth it.  And of course only God can bring true peace. Remember: we’re human – God is divine.
 
With peace comes hope. And hope transcends all. Some of you may be suffering this Christmas – with job loss; health issues; financial concerns; damaged or broken relationships. But Christ offers His constant love. With His love comes our hope and our peace. Even in tragedy (especially in tragedy) we are assured of His presence in our lives. We may not always be happy or comfortable but we are never alone. And in our joy and in our sorrow Christ remains ever-present.
 
God’s blessing to all of you. May you have a peace-filled Christmas.
 
Denis
 
The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; Upon those who dwelt in the land of gloom a light has shone.
For a child is born to us, a son is given us; upon his shoulder dominion rests. They name him Wonder-Counselor, God-Hero, Father-Forever, Prince of Peace.
His dominion is vast and forever peaceful.
Isaiah 9:1, 5, 6

Have An Adventure But Don’t Forget To Wear Your Seatbelt

/ Denis Wilhelm / 2 Comments

Being a parent is sort of like being a high wire trapeze artist.  One wrong move and you’re a goner!

Being a good parent is even harder. The challenge: you love your children with all your heart but sometimes you must suppress the urge to kill them. Good parents have learned how to do this.

Don’t get me wrong; being a dad has been my greatest blessing in this life.  And being a granddad is just ‘icing on the cake’. It’s just that sometimes it’s maddening. There is no instruction manual and kids have no warranty and the return policy is practically non-existent. But still parenthood remains the most rewarding experience in life.

Here’s why: Sometimes they love you back! It’s that simple. Your kid can grow up to be a president or a pimp but if they love you then you know that somewhere along the line you must have done something right.

Deb and I raised our kids with one philosophy – “What in hell are we doing?”  We really had no clue (I still don’t) but we just loved them and somehow muddled through.  So far not one of them is a serial killer or has written a ‘tell-all’ tale about their childhood; so we must have done (sort of) okay.

I think that there are basically two parenting styles:

The first one is what I call “The Helicopter-Science Project Parent”. These are the folks that are constantly hovering over their kids. They do EVERYTHING for the little darlings. They check their homework each night; they make sure that junior has all the right friends and monitor ALL activity. They keep their little loved ones on a pretty tight leash. And of course as the name implies – they actually build that amazing ‘Science Fair Volcano’ that junior takes credit (and the blue ribbon) for. These kids likely get in the best schools and live lives that their parents are proud of but they seem sad and stifled and will certainly have a mid-life crisis.

The second style is what I call “This Seems like a Good Idea Today”.  I think most of us fall into this category.  I know we certainly did. We tried to let our kids make their own mistakes (we’d already made enough of our own) and learn from them. We tried to be supportive and ALWAYS encouraged our kids to take risks within reason.  Our mantra was “You are only limited by your imagination” but in reality we subscribed more to the theory of “Have an adventure but don’t forget to wear your seatbelt”. It’s hard to push those ‘baby birds’ out of the nest but somehow we knew that would be for the best – even when sometimes we were hanging on for dear life (ours not theirs).

And those science projects?  They were awful!

Looking back I wouldn’t change a thing (except for maybe that time when I made Blake’s teacher cry at ‘Parent-Teacher Conferences’ even though she had it coming!) Giving your kids freedom means they are more likely to “mess up” but more opportunity equals more potential. I’ll take a little craziness any day over boring and bland. Oh, and love! Love is important – don’t forget to love your kids, especially when they are at their least lovable. And pray – even if you’re just asking for God to help you not kill them.

Hallmark® that purveyor of profundity sells a wall hanging that Deb purchased when our granddaughter Anna was born.  It now hangs in her bedroom.  And even though I don’t usually like schmaltzy stuff; I love this plaque.

It states:

IN THIS HOME…

WE DO SECOND CHANCES.

WE DO GRACE.

WE DO REAL.

WE DO MISTAKES.

WE DO I’M SORRYS.

WE DO LOUD REALLY WELL.

WE DO HUGS.

WE DO FAMILY.

WE DO LOVE.

How about that for a parenting philosophy?  And don’t forget to wear your seatbelt!

Peace,

Denis

Patience (or lack thereof)

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

During the four weeks of Advent we are supposed to be waiting for Jesus.  But we are busy.  We are shopping.  We are baking.  We are traveling.  We are entertaining.  We are wrapping gifts and trimming the tree.  All in anticipation of Christmas – Christ’s Mass.  We celebrate the birth of Jesus on December 25th but do we miss out on the beauty of our Savior’s birth with all our “busy-ness”?  Do we need to quiet ourselves and listen for His voice? 

I personally need to be patient with myself.  This is my annual struggle of wanting the “perfect Christmas” and not being able to let go so that I can be perfected by Christ.  

My need to do it all; to have it all is exhausting.  So again this year I’m going to let go (or at least try to let go) of my need to micro-manage Christmas.  All I ask for is your patience, too.  Be patient with me if you don’t receive a Christmas card until December 26th or 27th.  Be patient with me if I don’t seem “cheerful” enough during our holiday gatherings – I’ll get there.  Be patient with me if I don’t have the house decorated well enough or if your gift seems hurriedly wrapped. 

This year I’m going to hold my grandbabies and try to sing Christmas carols.  This year I’m going to try to read ALL of the holiday newsletters and Christmas greetings the day that they come in the mail.  This year I’m going to try to take my time with those who need me to slow down and REALLY listen to them. 

I’m praying for patience and waiting for another Christmas miracle. 

Who knows – I might be blessed with patience yet!

Peace,

Denis

Be patient, brothers and sisters,
until the coming of the Lord.
See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth,
being patient with it
until it receives the early and the late rains.
You too must be patient.
Make your hearts firm,
because the coming of the Lord is at hand.

James 5:7-8

Merely Amusing

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Our son Tyson and our daughter Bess have been competing with one another since the day that Bess was born.  Tyson is 20 months older. At times their ‘playful’ competition has escalated into the need to “best one another”.  Their battles have never really been mean-spirited or aggressive but still at times each of them needed (needs) to be the smarter, faster, funnier one, etc.  Somehow our younger son Blake never factored into this rivalry – maybe because he is the smarter, faster, funniest one (don’t tell Ty and Bess!).

Back in the day...

Anyway, when they were little children we always monitored their challenges to one another (“Hey Tyson, I bet you can’t do this!” or “Hey Bess, you’re too little to do this!”) to ensure no one got hurt – physically or emotionally.  As they grew older we often watched with bemusement at their obsession with being better than the other. Usually these were harmless skirmishes but sometimes we would intervene to save feelings or furniture.

Now that they are adults it’s fun (and funny) to look back on how often the simplest activities would become a contest between the two of them. A Monopoly® game would be enough to draw the battle lines.  Physical challenges could become feats of daring.  And mealtime discussions might become debates about who knew more about whatever was the topic of conversation.  As a boy Tyson was the stronger of the two (although Bess could give him a run for his money!).  Bess was always the more intellectual.  I sometimes think she did so well in school just to prove to Tyson that she was indeed smarter. 

As teenagers sometimes the dialog at dinner would go like this:  “Tyson that’s not right!” and then Bess would explain (usually correctly) why his opinion was flawed.  After careful consideration Tyson’s response would most likely be: “Well you’re stupid!” – Score one for Bess.  Once when they were “allegedly” adults they got into a heated discussion about which of them was funnier.  Tyson, ever the quick-witted one, declared without missing a beat: “Bess, I’m funny, you’re merely amusing!”  – Score one for Ty.

I love my kids and I know that they love one another.  I know that they are each fiercely loyal and would take a bullet for one another.  And I know that no sister and brother are more loving and caring and proud of one another. This makes their rivalry all the more interesting. Why do they do it?  Why do they always need to “best one another”?  I don’t know, maybe it was bad parenting. 

Nah, that can’t be right…

Peace,

Denis