Commentary

Thankful

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

It’s December 26th and I’m thankful for another beautiful Christmas. I’m a little sad that it’s past but thankful, too – no more rushing around trying to get things ready or keep things moving. Now I can just savor the memories of the last few days and look forward to some future memories, too. This morning I’m thankful for so much. So in no particular order ~ here’s what I’m thanking God for today:

Deb whose love embraces our whole family (especially during the holiday) ~ you are my Christmas angel.

Snow that fell on Christmas Eve (all 2-1/2″ of it) that helped our son-in-law Travis relive happy childhood memories of snowy Christmases in Wisconsin.

Skype (that mystery in our computer) that allowed us to have Tyson “with us” for a while on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day even though he’s in Korea and lives 15 hours in the future. Stay safe Master Sergeant Bubby!

Anna in her “Christmas Princess Party Costume” AKA her Christmas dress because she kept asking to go “Trick or Treating” ~ I love 2 year-olds!

Charlise who was “playing piano” at her Great Aunt’s house in California when we spoke with her last night ~ her giggles were pure joy!

Noah with his sweet smile and little baby laugh ~ my sweet boy!

Noah and Pawpaw

Christmas Cookies (that Deb and Bess baked) and Egg Nog…

Bess who hosted the family gathering yesterday and was giving out orders while nursing Noah and wearing a shower cap because she’s a real multi-tasker. (Sorry Bess but that just had to make the blog!)

Blake because he managed to stay awake all day even though he’d only had about 3 hours sleep on Christmas Eve and an early flight to St. Louis on Christmas morning.

American Airlines for getting Blake here on time yesterday.

The Love that I received from my family and my new wool sweater that’s keeping warm this morning.

Time to share with family and friends and time to be thankful for both.

Hope you have time today to give thanks for your blessings today, too.

Peace,

Denis

Peace On Earth (or at least at home)

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

I pray for peace daily – and at Christmas we hear “peace on Earth; goodwill toward men!” proclaimed often in verse and song. But how do we achieve peace on Earth? Our son is currently serving in the Air Force in Korea while North and South Korea are “shaking their big sticks” at one another. So many peoople live in war-torn or impoverished nations. There is so much violence in our own nation’s cities. The hate-mongers seem to monopolize the airtime on cable news networks. So much sadness ~ so much despair. How can we achieve peace on Earth?

Let peace begin with me???  It’s a nice lyric but it seems too idealistic and unachievable.  I can’t even get along with my neighbors. And don’t get me started on most politicians; a lot of old people (my kids probably include me in this category); some clergy members; a few co-workers; and all bad drivers. And I’m certain that there are some days that Debbie would like me to go somewhere (anywhere) until I can return home in a better mood. 
 
So how do we achieve peace on earth? I guess (for me) I need to start at home. This Christmas season I will try (once again) to embrace the peace that Christ gives to us. I will love each of my family members and remind myself that they deserve the same patience and tolerance that they each afford me.

As I continue to grow spiritually I realize that peace doesn’t necessarily equate happiness or comfort. Peace is within each of us. Sometimes peace is tough (because we must face our fears and our own shortcomings) but it’s worth it.  And of course only God can bring true peace. Remember: we’re human – God is divine.
 
With peace comes hope. And hope transcends all. Some of you may be suffering this Christmas – with job loss; health issues; financial concerns; damaged or broken relationships. But Christ offers His constant love. With His love comes our hope and our peace. Even in tragedy (especially in tragedy) we are assured of His presence in our lives. We may not always be happy or comfortable but we are never alone. And in our joy and in our sorrow Christ remains ever-present.
 
God’s blessing to all of you. May you have a peace-filled Christmas.
 
Denis
 
The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; Upon those who dwelt in the land of gloom a light has shone.
For a child is born to us, a son is given us; upon his shoulder dominion rests. They name him Wonder-Counselor, God-Hero, Father-Forever, Prince of Peace.
His dominion is vast and forever peaceful.
Isaiah 9:1, 5, 6

Have An Adventure But Don’t Forget To Wear Your Seatbelt

/ Denis Wilhelm / 2 Comments

Being a parent is sort of like being a high wire trapeze artist.  One wrong move and you’re a goner!

Being a good parent is even harder. The challenge: you love your children with all your heart but sometimes you must suppress the urge to kill them. Good parents have learned how to do this.

Don’t get me wrong; being a dad has been my greatest blessing in this life.  And being a granddad is just ‘icing on the cake’. It’s just that sometimes it’s maddening. There is no instruction manual and kids have no warranty and the return policy is practically non-existent. But still parenthood remains the most rewarding experience in life.

Here’s why: Sometimes they love you back! It’s that simple. Your kid can grow up to be a president or a pimp but if they love you then you know that somewhere along the line you must have done something right.

Deb and I raised our kids with one philosophy – “What in hell are we doing?”  We really had no clue (I still don’t) but we just loved them and somehow muddled through.  So far not one of them is a serial killer or has written a ‘tell-all’ tale about their childhood; so we must have done (sort of) okay.

I think that there are basically two parenting styles:

The first one is what I call “The Helicopter-Science Project Parent”. These are the folks that are constantly hovering over their kids. They do EVERYTHING for the little darlings. They check their homework each night; they make sure that junior has all the right friends and monitor ALL activity. They keep their little loved ones on a pretty tight leash. And of course as the name implies – they actually build that amazing ‘Science Fair Volcano’ that junior takes credit (and the blue ribbon) for. These kids likely get in the best schools and live lives that their parents are proud of but they seem sad and stifled and will certainly have a mid-life crisis.

The second style is what I call “This Seems like a Good Idea Today”.  I think most of us fall into this category.  I know we certainly did. We tried to let our kids make their own mistakes (we’d already made enough of our own) and learn from them. We tried to be supportive and ALWAYS encouraged our kids to take risks within reason.  Our mantra was “You are only limited by your imagination” but in reality we subscribed more to the theory of “Have an adventure but don’t forget to wear your seatbelt”. It’s hard to push those ‘baby birds’ out of the nest but somehow we knew that would be for the best – even when sometimes we were hanging on for dear life (ours not theirs).

And those science projects?  They were awful!

Looking back I wouldn’t change a thing (except for maybe that time when I made Blake’s teacher cry at ‘Parent-Teacher Conferences’ even though she had it coming!) Giving your kids freedom means they are more likely to “mess up” but more opportunity equals more potential. I’ll take a little craziness any day over boring and bland. Oh, and love! Love is important – don’t forget to love your kids, especially when they are at their least lovable. And pray – even if you’re just asking for God to help you not kill them.

Hallmark® that purveyor of profundity sells a wall hanging that Deb purchased when our granddaughter Anna was born.  It now hangs in her bedroom.  And even though I don’t usually like schmaltzy stuff; I love this plaque.

It states:

IN THIS HOME…

WE DO SECOND CHANCES.

WE DO GRACE.

WE DO REAL.

WE DO MISTAKES.

WE DO I’M SORRYS.

WE DO LOUD REALLY WELL.

WE DO HUGS.

WE DO FAMILY.

WE DO LOVE.

How about that for a parenting philosophy?  And don’t forget to wear your seatbelt!

Peace,

Denis

Patience (or lack thereof)

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

During the four weeks of Advent we are supposed to be waiting for Jesus.  But we are busy.  We are shopping.  We are baking.  We are traveling.  We are entertaining.  We are wrapping gifts and trimming the tree.  All in anticipation of Christmas – Christ’s Mass.  We celebrate the birth of Jesus on December 25th but do we miss out on the beauty of our Savior’s birth with all our “busy-ness”?  Do we need to quiet ourselves and listen for His voice? 

I personally need to be patient with myself.  This is my annual struggle of wanting the “perfect Christmas” and not being able to let go so that I can be perfected by Christ.  

My need to do it all; to have it all is exhausting.  So again this year I’m going to let go (or at least try to let go) of my need to micro-manage Christmas.  All I ask for is your patience, too.  Be patient with me if you don’t receive a Christmas card until December 26th or 27th.  Be patient with me if I don’t seem “cheerful” enough during our holiday gatherings – I’ll get there.  Be patient with me if I don’t have the house decorated well enough or if your gift seems hurriedly wrapped. 

This year I’m going to hold my grandbabies and try to sing Christmas carols.  This year I’m going to try to read ALL of the holiday newsletters and Christmas greetings the day that they come in the mail.  This year I’m going to try to take my time with those who need me to slow down and REALLY listen to them. 

I’m praying for patience and waiting for another Christmas miracle. 

Who knows – I might be blessed with patience yet!

Peace,

Denis

Be patient, brothers and sisters,
until the coming of the Lord.
See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth,
being patient with it
until it receives the early and the late rains.
You too must be patient.
Make your hearts firm,
because the coming of the Lord is at hand.

James 5:7-8

Merely Amusing

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Our son Tyson and our daughter Bess have been competing with one another since the day that Bess was born.  Tyson is 20 months older. At times their ‘playful’ competition has escalated into the need to “best one another”.  Their battles have never really been mean-spirited or aggressive but still at times each of them needed (needs) to be the smarter, faster, funnier one, etc.  Somehow our younger son Blake never factored into this rivalry – maybe because he is the smarter, faster, funniest one (don’t tell Ty and Bess!).

Back in the day...

Anyway, when they were little children we always monitored their challenges to one another (“Hey Tyson, I bet you can’t do this!” or “Hey Bess, you’re too little to do this!”) to ensure no one got hurt – physically or emotionally.  As they grew older we often watched with bemusement at their obsession with being better than the other. Usually these were harmless skirmishes but sometimes we would intervene to save feelings or furniture.

Now that they are adults it’s fun (and funny) to look back on how often the simplest activities would become a contest between the two of them. A Monopoly® game would be enough to draw the battle lines.  Physical challenges could become feats of daring.  And mealtime discussions might become debates about who knew more about whatever was the topic of conversation.  As a boy Tyson was the stronger of the two (although Bess could give him a run for his money!).  Bess was always the more intellectual.  I sometimes think she did so well in school just to prove to Tyson that she was indeed smarter. 

As teenagers sometimes the dialog at dinner would go like this:  “Tyson that’s not right!” and then Bess would explain (usually correctly) why his opinion was flawed.  After careful consideration Tyson’s response would most likely be: “Well you’re stupid!” – Score one for Bess.  Once when they were “allegedly” adults they got into a heated discussion about which of them was funnier.  Tyson, ever the quick-witted one, declared without missing a beat: “Bess, I’m funny, you’re merely amusing!”  – Score one for Ty.

I love my kids and I know that they love one another.  I know that they are each fiercely loyal and would take a bullet for one another.  And I know that no sister and brother are more loving and caring and proud of one another. This makes their rivalry all the more interesting. Why do they do it?  Why do they always need to “best one another”?  I don’t know, maybe it was bad parenting. 

Nah, that can’t be right…

Peace,

Denis

No Place Like Home

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

I’m in Mexico again! Another business trip to Mexico City. Another couple of plane rides. Another couple of nights in a hotel.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not complaining. I really love traveling. And I’ll be seeing a customer whose company I truly enjoy. And I’m painfully aware of how many of my friends are unemployed or under-employed. So I am thankful for my job – even if it takes me away from home sometimes.

But tonight I just want to be home. I want to hear my wife tell me about her day. I want to fall asleep watching the local news – in English! I want to listen to my six-year old granddaughter tell me excitedly about her newest friend at school or hear my two-year old granddaughter tell me that she’s going to be going to school soon, too! I want to see my baby grandson smile his sweet smile (that I’m certain is just for me!). I’m a hopeless ‘homebody’.

I don’t know, maybe it’s the ‘holidays’ or the fact that our son is leaving for Korea next week for a year but right now I NEED TO BE HOME. I’m feeling that ‘ache’ for home that I sometimes get.

So here I am in Mexico City feeling way too sorry for myself AND guilty because so many others are separated from their loved ones – not for just a few days but for years or maybe for eternity.

I’m praying these next few days pass quickly and I’ll be back in that “loving embrace” of home soon. I also pray for all those who are yearning for home. May they find “home” in their hearts; in their memories; in their dreams.

This song always makes me a little sad, but sometimes a little sadness makes me happy (or maybe I’m just a little loco!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbSOLBMUvIE&feature=related

Peace,

Denis

O Come O Come Emmanuel

/ Denis Wilhelm / 1 Comment

 Nothing is as simple and profound as a God that loves us unconditionally.   In the midst of the modern Christmas frenzy Advent is a perfect time to remind ourselves of that awesome wonder.

Tomorrow Advent begins. And once again we prepare for the coming of Christ. Today I unpacked the Advent wreath and Deb bought new candles. For the next four Sundays we will light our candles and carry on our tradition of “keeping Advent”. This is that special time of year when we reflect on Jesus’ coming in history and His coming in our lives today and also His final coming. 

For the next four Sundays our Gospel readings will contain the messages of Advent – take care; be aware; prepare. And while we’re busy about “getting ready” for Christmas – the shopping, the parties, the gift giving, we’re being reminded to S L O W  down. We’re being reminded to “get ready” for something much more important than the latest toy or electronic gadget; something much more important than our favorite family recipe; something much more important than our parties or holiday celebrations.  We are preparing ourselves to meet (once again) our Savior who is ALWAYS with us and who will NEVER forsake us.

This evening we went to our parish to view “Scenes of The Nativity” – parishioners put their personal creches on display for all to enjoy.  Some of the Nativity sets are old, some are handmade, some very elegant, some disarmingly simple. All represent the Holy Family at the time of Jesus’ birth.  At the end of the exhibit is an opportunity to create a living Nativity – with costumes and ourselves playing the parts of angels, shepherds, wise men and of course Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. 

This year my daughter was Mary; my son-in-law Joseph; and Noah was baby Jesus (he was a natural!).  Anna and her cousin Charlise were angels (adorable) and the rest of us were Wise Men – well Debbie was a Wise Woman I suppose. It was fun and the angels and baby Jesus were especially sweet – a nice family time.

Holy Family

Later while the girls were playing in the “Children’s Area” replete with Fisher-Price Nativity sets and arts-and-crafts tables I held Noah (Baby Jesus).  While holding in my arms he smiled at me and I couldn’t help but think about Jesus as a baby and how much Mary and Joseph must have loved him. 

At times it is amazing to me that God presented Himself to us an infant!  Not as a warrior or super hero or a King.  But an infant – helpless, completely dependent, and completely human.  And while I held Noah it all made perfect sense to me.  Someday when I’m much older and Noah is a grown man he will bring me comfort and help ease me into my final days.  The love that we share will transform us – as I grow old and weak; he will grow big and strong. Tonight I prayed that we will always be connected even as we inevitably change.  And if I’m truly blessed he will remember me fondly after I’m gone from this life and he will always know how much I loved him. 

Imagine then how much more God will love and care for each of us.  God who gave us His only Son that we might live.  God who changes us so that we might change the world. O come O come Emmanuel!

Jesus said to his disciples: “As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.  Matthew 24:37

Peace,

Denis

Give Thanks

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Every year as a nation Americans pause on the last Thursday of November to give thanks. For many of us this is really just a day to enjoy turkey, pumpkin pie and football. And for that I’m thankful, too. But this year I have so much more for which to be thankful. I’d like to thank God for all of my blessings. 

Here goes:

  • Thank you for my beautiful wife of 35 years who gives more than she ever receives (even though I try).
  • Thank you for my children who will always be my babies even though they are adults.
  • Thank you for my grandchildren – they are my greatest joy and hope for the future!
  • Thank you for my son-in-law who is not only another son but my friend and my brother in Christ.
  • Thank you for my siblings who help keep me grounded and remind me of the importance of family.
  • Thank you for my parents who are examples of married love and devotion.
  • Thank you for my in-laws, nieces and nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles and all other family members – you fill my life with love and kindness.
  • Thank you for my friends who have carried me many times when I have lost my way.
  • Thank you for employment, my co-workers and my cherished customers and business partners who are my extended family.
  • Thank you for a good home, good health and a full belly.
  • Thank for my faith; for Your Son and for my community of believers.
  • And thanks for the shitty stuff, too. It makes the good stuff somehow seem even better.
  • And thank you God for all the many blessings that I take for granted each day.

My wish is for each of you to have a beautiful Thanksgiving and a moment to reflect on all of your blessings, too.

Peace,
Denis

Yo Quiero Mexico!

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Last week I was in Mexico City and Guadalajara on business.  In two weeks I’ll be back in Mexico City – that will be my 5th or 6th trip to Mexico this year.  Even though it’s business travel I’ve come to have a fondness for Mexico and the Mexican people who I have encountered.  Now to be fair I’m the customer or guest in all these encounters so I guess that I likely don’t have a realistic view of life in Mexico – just what “my handlers” want me to see.  But I’ve been well handled.

Laguna de Chapala near Guadalajara

While everyone at home has been telling me to “be careful” in Mexico and to avoid travel there; that hasn’t really been an option for me.  Others in my company have backed out of travel “south of the border” for various and assorted reasons but I suspect fear or ignorance or a combination of both.  I’m not so naive to believe that there is no danger in Mexico right now.  But my experience has been no different from when I travel to any major city or unknown destination – exercise caution and employ common sense.  Also I don’t knowingly associate with drug dealers or any other sketchy characters.  And I don’t make myself a target by hanging around in less than desirable locales. 

The professionals that I have dealt with are well traveled, intelligent, thoughtful individuals.  Their hospitality and consideration toward me has been overwhelming.  Again, as I stated before, I am their customer so I would expect some deference.  But the way that I have been treated is much more than the standard customer service to which I have become accustomed.  So while travel to Mexico is slightly challenging (long lines in customs, language barriers, cultural confusion), the plus side is that I have met some wonderful people who love their country and are proud to be Mexicans.  In addition they have treated me as a welcome guest instead of an annoying outsider. 

A company that I am working with is owned by one family.  The patriarch is named Edmundo as well as his son Edmundo Junior.  They work with their nephew/cousin also named Edmundo.  Both of the junior Edmundos each have sons named Edmundo as well.  One family building and sharing a successful business together is remarkable in and of itself.  The fact that they have employees that have been with them for over 30 and 40 years is a testament to the company and the extraordinary leadership and loyalty of the Edmundos.

I look forward to my next trip and my continued association with my new friends.  For me Mexico was once little more than a vacation destination.  Now I realize that is a splendid country which is home for some truly remarkable people.  And I thank God for letting my world get just a little bit smaller. 

“For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me.” Matthew 25:35

Gracias,

Denis

Pets, Peeves, and Pet Peeves

/ Denis Wilhelm / Leave a comment

Pets:  My wife has two dogs.  A retarded (sorry – developmentally disabled) Maltese named Sophie and a Yorkshire terrier (terrorist) named Lulu.  I hate these dogs.  No wait – that’s not fair – hate is not a strong enough word.  Sophie the Maltese likes to run away on occasion – Run Sophie, run!  Where do you think that you’re going?  Would anyone else put up with you?  Doubtful.  Your only redeeming quality is that you are pitiful and you make others feel better about themselves by comparison.  Even the birds and rabbits in our backyard mock you. “Try to catch me, stupid dog”, they seem to taunt.  Lulu the terrorist likes to bark at me when I leave home EVERY MORNING.  Sort of like “get out of here!” or “never come back!”  Really Lulu???  Like I don’t despise you enough already.  Okay, the dogs do give Deb some company when I travel and when I had surgery last year Sophie laid by my side for days while I recovered.  And of course our granddaughters LOVE the dogs.  So as long as Charlise and Anna love them I guess they can remain.  But there are days…   I know that this makes me a DOG HATER and puts me in the same category as people like Hitler and Dick Cheney but I can live with that.

Peeves:  I try to keep my anger in check but sometimes it just sort of ‘bubbles over’.  This is an extremely busy time of year for our business – trying to get everything installed in stores before the Christmas retail push (thank God for the commercialization of Christ’s birth!).  Folks in the office are a little frantic and nerves are on edge so EVERYONE needs to take a collective deep breath and calm the hell down. No one is going to die if a shipment or installation is missed.  I repeat – NO ONE IS GOING TO DIE.  However someone might get fired.  Today I would like to fire nearly everyone that has crossed my path – it’s just one of those days.  Why is it that when things get busy; people get stupider – see even me (I know that stupider is not a word)?  Today we’re having a little ‘Pizza Party’ here in the office and even that is annoying me – please stop asking me if I will attend!  Of course I won’t – I will take my pizza into my office and eat alone.  Trust me you will all be happier that way.  Now get back to work!  We can’t miss any shipments or installs!

Pet Peeves: The following in no particular order is a list of some of my major pet peeves –

  • People who drive S L O W in the passing lane
  • Infomercials
  • Paid Political Advertisements
  • The hillbillies that live next door (and their barking dog)
  • People who invade my personal space
  • Brett Favre, Michael Vick, and Manny Ramirez – yuck!
  • The way the old creepy guy at the gym walks around naked in the locker room
  • Text speak – OMG LMAO
  • People (usually old) at the airport security checkpoint who hold up the line
  • Junk mail
  • Stupid made-up holidays like ‘Bosses Day’ or ‘Administrative Assistants Day’
  • Crap that’s left under my windshield wiper on a parking lot
  • Cranky old men
  • People who ALWAYS need to be the center of attention
  • People who can’t stop complaining about stuff

Wait a minute; those last three kind of sound like me…

I guess I should  just go home and pet our dogs – then EVERYTHING will be better.  Oh no, I’m worse off than I thought!

Peace,

Denis