Sadly, I’m often surprised when a stranger is kind. Kindness, friendliness, and courtesy seem to have gone out of fashion these days. Recently at a grocery store someone offered my wife a shopping cart. It was a simple gesture but was much appreciated. When we headed into the store, we realized that the woman had left her mobile phone in the cart. I ran out of the store and found her about to exit the parking lot. Crisis averted. Many thanks were offered for such a simple act. Later in the store the cashier was friendly and engaging and made our mundane shopping experience actually pleasant. Later my wife and I remarked that kindness is so seldom offered that it has become remarkable. It is a sad commentary. Why is it that friendliness and kindness are remarkable?

I’m part of the problem. I admit that I am quick to judge. I blame it on my professional experience, years of sizing up customers and suppliers. Calling “bullshit” on the bullshitters. That’s an easy way out. The truth is, I’m a judger and I usually think that I know who I’m dealing with before a word is spoken. But what if I’m wrong? Suppose the person that I’ve encountered is battling illness or financial hardship or a failed relationship. And then I’m put out because they aren’t friendly enough to me? How pompous and arrogant! Many folks may be carrying pain beyond my comprehension and perhaps friendliness is just something that they cannot muster. My wife, who is kind and friendly by nature, often reminds me that not everyone is living a happy or healthy life.

Perhaps kindness begets kindness. So, I try (again) to be courteous to strangers. I try to be friendly. Then I look in the mirror and study my heavy brow line and my strong chin and realize that a smile can even improve my stern Germanic countenance. “Remember to smile and speak more softly”, I tell myself. But genetics and learned behaviors are hard to overcome. Then I pray. I pray that somehow, I will remember to be a reconciling presence in our world. God gives us the grace to mend hearts and share love with others. I can start in the grocery store, and in my own backyard. I can share God’s grace.

The people that I admire most are the folks who carry a quiet joy in their hearts. They’re not the dealmakers, or loud back slappers or the big jokesters but the kind, graceful people who offer me a smile, an occasional shopping cart, and a role model, even in my saddest, darkest, ugliest moments.

Perhaps kindness begets kindness. And grace. And redemption.

Peace,

Denis

From his fullness we have all received, grace in place of grace. John 1:16